How to Escape a Cold Marriage or Relationship: A New Form of Love Called the "Bluetooth Relationship"
Last time, I called cold couples (spouses/lovers) a "necrotic zombie relationship."
Read more here👇
A relationship with no emotion or intimacy, where you are simply "breathing the same air."
Even if it looks stable from the outside, the hearts and bodies of those involved are being quietly eroded.
Some of you who read that might have felt,
"So what should I do? Is breaking up the only option?"
"Isn't it impossible to fix?"
Certainly, choosing to break up is one path.
But is that really the only one?
I would like to proposeanother pathhere.
That is the **Bluetooth relationship—a "love of choosing again."**
Why a new proposal is necessary
When people fall into a necrotic zombie relationship, they often think in terms of a binary choice: "break up or fix it."
But in reality, a true voice is hidden within those words.
"I have no choice but to break up" → An SOS that says it is painful as it is now and you can no longer endure it.
"Isn't it possible to fix it?" → A wish that you actually want to connect once more.
Both are not the "end of love," but the unconscious voice of "seeking a different way of being in a relationship."
That is precisely why we need to break the illusion that "if you possess them, it will last" and choose a new form of relationship.
The end of the illusion of possession
People tend to think that "if I possess them, I am safe."
"My boyfriend"
"My wife"
"We're married, so it's fine"
However, possession does not provide peace of mind; instead, it stops the flow of blood.
"I've got them, so I don't need to try anymore"—the moment you think that, the breathing of the relationship becomes shallow. That is why it feels suffocating.
Of course, a mature relationship also has the gift of "peace of mind."
But when you are trapped in a zombie relationship, that peace of mind has been replaced by "stagnation" or "inertia."
Possession seems to bind the other person, but it also binds yourself.
It looks like a chain of security, but in reality, it is achain that steals your breath.
A comparison of how to "connect" in a relationship
Human relationships are connected by invisible 'styles of connection'.
Depending on what that style is, the comfort, degree of freedom, and sincerity of the relationship change significantly.
For example—
・A relationship that is rigidly fixed, unable to move, but provides a sense of stability.
I call this a wired-cord relationship. Typical marriages, romantic relationships, etc.
・A relationship that is loosely connected to many, but is unstable and allows for other connections behind the scenes. I have named this a Wi-Fi relationship (lol). These are casual relationships or affairs.
・And then, a relationship that asks, 'Would you like to reconnect?' even after a connection has been broken. This is a Bluetooth relationship. A sincere relationship chosen through free will.
By organizing these differences, you can see 'which way of connecting you are currently using'.
Only then can you begin to think, 'Well, what kind of connection do I want to choose?'
Comparison Table of Relationship 'Connection Styles'
We are unconsciously connected to people through one of these three.
The important thing is to know, 'Which style am I in right now?'
And,if you are suffocating, whether you have the courage to change the way you connect.
Counterarguments to Common Prejudices
'Isn't that unstable?'
It may look unstable at first glance, but what is truly fragile is the idea of ownership.
Relationships tied together by chains collapse all at once the moment hearts drift apart.'I'm scared if I'm not chosen.'
By the time you are living like a zombie, you have already lost it.
The courage to face not 'if I am not chosen' but 'if I am not chosen again' is what allows love to be lived anew.'Won't I be cheated on if I give them freedom?'
Honestly, there are tons of people who are secretly using Wi-Fi (cheating) within zombie relationships (lol).
A Bluetooth relationship actually has the sincerity of 'honestly choosing again'.
What a Bluetooth Relationship Brings
Freshness
Every time you are chosen again with 'It's you after all,' the relationship takes in fresh air.Joy
The realization that 'I was chosen again today,' which cannot be obtained through ownership, circulates.Sincerity within Freedom
We are not together because we are bound, but because we choose each other again within freedom, the relationship becomes stronger.
A little bit of humor
The good thing about a Bluetooth relationship is that you can choose freely.
Pairing with A today, pairing with B tomorrow—you are free to choose that way too.
But a relationship where hearts truly connect is choosing 'It's you after all' over and over again within that freedom.
Only there does sincere and pure love exist.
A question for you
Bluetooth relationships might look unstable.
But truly strong relationships are not about possession, but rather about the courage to choose each other again and again.
Are you clinging to possession right now?
Or are you living a Bluetooth relationship where you choose each other every day, thinking, 'Yes, it's you'?
Possession may look like security, but it is actually a chain that steals your breath.
Only when you remove that chain can the relationship circulate blood again and regain its warmth.
Next Preview and Information
This article is part of a series.
Next time, I will share information on 'The Impact of Necrotic Zombie Relationships on Children'.
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Within the units of parent-child, husband-wife, life, and 'family',
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▶︎ [Summary] What is Sincerity?
I have summarized articles written about sincerity based on their structures.
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