[No. 46] Encounters with Business Books: 'Nice Guys' Don't Finish Last. The Power of 'Think CIVILITY' Proven by Data
In this **[Encounters with Business Books]** series, I will introduce, one by one, the business books I have encountered that have served as catalysts for changing my perspective on life and business, in a review format.
Book and Author
The book I am introducing today is **'Think CIVILITY: The Power of Civility as the Ultimate Survival Strategy'** by Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business.
Introduction: Don't Imitate Steve Jobs
When you hear the term 'excellent leader,' who comes to mind? You might imagine a 'tyrannical boss' like Steve Jobs, who yells at subordinates and pursues results with rude behavior.
'Nice guys finish last' and 'kindness is a weakness.' Many people believe this to be true.
However, the author, Porath, has overturned that conventional wisdom through 20 years of research. Jobs succeeded not 'because' he was rude, but simply 'despite' his rudeness (he is an exception).
The data reveals a brutal truth. In modern business, 'rude people' destroy organizational profits and close off their own career paths. Conversely, the strongest weapon is not talent or academic background, but 'civility.'
The Core of the Book: The Infectiousness of the 'Rudeness' Virus
The brilliance of this book lies not in moralizing about 'being polite,' but in confronting the reader with numbers showing 'how much rudeness creates costs (losses).'
1. Rude treatment shuts down brain function
Data: People who are treated rudely see their creativity drop by 30%, their motivation for work drop by 66%, and 12% end up quitting.
Infection: What is terrifying is the 'infectiousness' where not only those directly affected, but even those who 'witnessed' the behavior see their performance drop, and they themselves even become aggressive.
Lesson: Leaving even one rude person unchecked is the same as spreading a virus throughout the entire organization.
2. 'Warmth' and 'Competence' can coexist
Misconception: "If I'm polite, won't people take advantage of me?"
Truth: Leadership requires two things: "competence" (being good at your job) and "warmth" (being approachable).
Lesson: Research shows that people first judge "warmth" (whether you are not an enemy), and then evaluate "competence." In other words, without the foundation of "warmth" that is politeness, your "competence" will not be trusted or utilized.
Practice: The Ultimate Survival Strategy, the "10/5 Rule"
So, how can you acquire "civility"? Here is a surprisingly simple rule introduced in the book, which was practiced at a hospital (Ochsner Health System).
The 10/5 Rule
If you pass someone within 10 feet (about 3 meters), make eye contact, nod, and smile.
If you pass someone within 5 feet (about 1.5 meters), say "hello.".
That is all it takes. However, as a result of implementing this throughout the entire organization, both patient satisfaction and employee satisfaction improved dramatically.
Smiling
Not interrupting others
Expressing gratitude
These require neither skills nor a budget. However, leaders who can thoroughly implement these are the ones who can create psychological safety (No. 45) and bring out the maximum potential of their members.
Summary
"Think CIVILITY" removes politeness from the framework of "morality" or "manners" and proves it to be the "ultimate business strategy" based on cold, hard data.
"As long as you can do your job, a little rudeness is acceptable." That outdated myth has been completely shattered by this book. Rude behavior acts like a virus, draining an organization's creativity and causing talented personnel to leave one after another.
A few seconds of eye contact when passing by, a greeting that respects the other person, and gratitude. These are the most cost-effective investments that require no special skills or budget. You don't need to be a defenseless "good person." However, becoming a strategic "polite person" will be the strongest shield to protect your career and organization. The "10/5 Rule" starting tomorrow will surely increase your survival probability dramatically.
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▼ Recommended reading (from past series)
How can you specifically express the "politeness" and "warmth" learned in "Think CIVILITY" in daily conversations and one-on-one interactions? This is a must-read list for honing practical dialogue skills.
[No. 27] "How to Win Friends and Influence People" [Selection Reason: The Origin of Dialogue] "Don't criticize," "give honest and sincere appreciation," and "become genuinely interested in other people." These principles derived by Dale Carnegie from empirical rules are the ultimate communication techniques that embody the "politeness" proven by data in "Think CIVILITY." It is an essential book that serves as the foundation for interpersonal skills.
[No. 47] "What Do World-Class Professionals Talk About in 'Small Talk'?" [Selection Reason: Conveying Warmth] "Warmth" (proof that you are not an enemy) is identified in this book as being necessary even before "competence." The easiest and most powerful way to convey this to others is through "small talk." Rather than just reading the room, the technique of strategic small talk to bridge the distance with others will boost your civility.
[No. 102] "The Art of Asking: Building Solid Relationships and Excellent Organizations" [Selection Reason: Listening with Respect] The "politeness" of respecting others is tested more when you are "listening" than when you are speaking. You can learn specific conversation skills to seal away the rudeness of showing off your own knowledge or advice, and instead ask "humble questions" with genuine curiosity.
[No. 142] "How to Elicit Information Taught by a Former FBI Agent" [Selection Reason: Techniques to Lower Defenses] The purpose of politeness is to build trust (rapport) with the other person. Even with strangers or difficult people, this is an extremely practical psychological approach to send signals that "I am on your side" through actions, gestures, and tone of conversation to gain favor.
▼ I introduce many other things as well!