When a Cliff Turns into a Staircase: The Morning Margin Where I Whisper, 'Things Are Getting Interesting'
When a Cliff Turns into a Staircase: The Morning Margin Where I Whisper, 'Things Are Getting Interesting'
In the deep, pre-dawn hours, while the world around me is still fast asleep.
I pick up my favorite fountain pen and open my planner. In this silence, the time spent engaging in a dialogue with myself while feeling the warmth of the paper is not for the sake of someone else's evaluation or social media 'likes,' but perhaps an irreplaceable ritual for clearing my own heart.
Today, this question was gently placed upon the page.
'What is an instance where a failure led to success?'
With the nib of my fountain pen hovering, I suddenly trace the threads of memory.
What comes to mind is that day at my previous job when I couldn't stop breaking out in a cold sweat.
It was an incident where I made a major mistake, which then escalated into a task of recovery. I feel like I was just shrinking into myself at the time, thinking, 'I'm sure I'm going to be severely reprimanded.'
However, the senior colleague in front of me was different. Instead of yelling at me or being exasperated, they quietly began to think about the 'steps for recovery.' Then, while bowing their head to many people around us and asking for their cooperation, they helped me overcome that difficult situation together.
I still clearly remember the relief and the feeling of warmth deep in my chest from that moment.
'Even if you fail, how you recover is what matters.'
'As long as you face things sincerely and earnestly, you won't be easily abandoned.'
What I learned from my senior's back that day might have become something like the roots deep within my current way of working.
I am by no means a manager who stands at the top of an organization and moves everything. Rather, I often take on a role like a 'shortstop'—a practical worker on the front lines who stands between people in various positions, adjusting the waves of emotion while picking up the balls flying about.
That is precisely why, when unexpected trouble occurs or a mistake is discovered in my daily work, I feel those lessons from that day begin to breathe quietly.
'What has happened cannot be helped.'
First, I accept only the facts that have occurred with both hands. Then, I calmly look over the scope of the impact and search for a way to recover. Once a little composure returns to my heart, I can slowly think about preventing a recurrence.
Of course, if I make a mistake, I feel down and it is painful, just as it was in the past. The version of myself that still whimpers 'Ah...' deep in my chest certainly exists.
However, standing still and looking down forever does not help the person in front of me. Because I have come to be able to think that way, I feel like I have become able to look forward just a little, thinking, 'For now, let's move my hands and feet.'
Even so, there are moments when I feel like I am about to be crushed by the pressure and self-loathing that come rushing in.
At such times, I make it a point to say two 'magic words' to myself.
The first is: 'This is not a rejection of my character.'
It is the act of gently separating the 'event'—the trouble or failure occurring—from my own 'intrinsic value' in my mind. It might be something like an essential breakwater to protect myself.
And the second. This is my ultimate switch.
In my heart, I lift the corners of my mouth just a little and whisper this:
'Things are getting interesting.'
Just like the protagonist in a movie or anime who grins when they fall into the greatest crisis.
When I whisper that in my heart, something strange happens.
The impossibly huge and desperate 'cliff' that had been towering before my eyes starts to look like just a 'wall'.
And when I step closer to that wall without fear and observe it carefully... small 'stairs' emerge that look like I might be able to climb if I place my feet on them.
What I thought was a sheer cliff was actually a staircase to overcome.
Once my perspective changes like that, all that is left is to handle the practical tasks I can do right now, one step at a time, and move my feet to climb.
And when I have climbed the stairs, managed to recover, and daily life has returned.
What does that experience of overcoming become within me?
Before I know it, it transforms into a 'self-deprecating joke' within the organization.
'Oh man, I really caused you all so much trouble back then (sob, sob).'
In that way, I act a little silly and offer up my failure as a funny story to those around me. Then, the tense atmosphere suddenly relaxes, and the people around me laugh and say, 'We were so panicked back then.'
A me that is not perfect. A me that failed, cried, and yet somehow climbed the stairs.
The warm margin of communication created by offering that up without hiding it. That might be the greatest success experience and the most precious souvenir that the 'cliff' of that day gifted to me.
Outside the window, the sky has begun to turn white little by little.
Today, too, many things will likely happen. I might encounter difficulties that look like cliffs.
But it will be okay.
For now, I just need to protect my heart and whisper those words to myself.
I think I will quietly close the cap of my fountain pen and prepare to start a new day.
#Diary #Essay #DailyRealizations #SelfDialogue #MagicQuestion #LearningFromFailure #Mindset #MorningRoutine #Resilience
