[No. 74] The Day I Saw the Movie Protagonist and Reflected on My Own Life: Adlerian Psychology to Reconstruct Life

A "Thinking Toolbox" for Building a Resilient Mind
Adlerian Psychology to Reconstruct Life

Tool No. 74
~The Day I Saw the Movie Protagonist and Reflected on My Own Life~

In the morning, I was sitting on the sofa, drinking coffee as usual.

It was a day off with no particular plans.

Without much energy to do anything, I picked up my smartphone and
resumed playing the movie I had recorded last night.

The protagonist was a man over 60.

After retiring, he lost his wife, grew a bit distant from his children, and
lives alone in an old house.

At first, I watched it as if it were someone else's story.

"I guess there are lives like this, too."

That was about the extent of my feelings.

But as the movie progressed, it gradually stopped feeling like someone else's story.

There was a scene where the protagonist took old photos out of a closet.

Family photos from when he was young.
Photos from when he was honored at work.
Photos from when his children were small.

He looked at them one by one and remained silent for a while.

When I saw that expression, I remembered myself from a few years ago.

I, too, once tried to clean out my closet and
stopped in my tracks in front of an old album.

I had intended to throw it away, but every time I looked at the photos, I couldn't move.

Myself when I was young.
Myself when I was only focused on work.
Myself when I kept putting off time with my family.

"What have I actually left behind in this life?"

Thinking about things like that, I was no longer in any state to clean.

Even after midday, the movie's protagonist continued to look at old photographs.

He wasn't going to meet anyone.
He wasn't starting anything new.
He was just looking at old photos and sighing.

Watching him, I thought, 'I have parts like that too,' and
I felt a bit uncomfortable watching it.

That was because I had similar traits myself.

When you reach your 50s, there are times when you think, 'Isn't it too late?'

You can't go back to your youth.
The time spent on work won't return.
There are words I couldn't say.
There are scenes I couldn't redo.

Thinking that way, there are times when it's easier to look at the past than to look forward.

But even though it seems easy, it's actually painful.

Because nothing changes.

This was where I was stumbling.

I thought that looking back at the past was a way of organizing my life.

But in reality, I was just remembering the same regrets over and over,
and losing the will to move forward.

In the evening, there was a scene in the movie where the protagonist goes to a small cinema.

He goes to watch a movie he once saw with his wife, all by himself again.

The profile of the protagonist staring at the screen gradually changes.

The face that looked lonely softens just a little.

Watching that, I remembered the Adlerian psychology concept of 'teleology'.

The past does not determine everything about who I am now.

I cannot return to my youth.
But when I think, 'How do I want to spend my time from now on?',
one thing I could try doing today came to mind.

Not as a difficult theory, but as a very simple question, I was able to accept it that day.

"What would my future self 10 years from now say to me today?"
Thinking that way, the words kept coming back to me even after the movie ended.

At night, after I finished watching the movie, I opened my notebook.

I didn't feel like writing down any big goals.

I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write out a life plan, either.

I just wrote one single line.

That was all.

But when I finished writing it, I felt a little bit more at ease.

I cannot redo the entire past.

There were days I put off spending time with my family.
There were periods when I prioritized work above all else.
There were words I couldn't say honestly.

Those things won't disappear.

But I can change the days ahead, even if just a little.

Send a short message to someone.
Organize just one old photo.
Watch one movie I like.
Write down one line about how I feel right now at night.

I can do at least that much, starting today.

If I could speak to my past self now, I would say this:

"Before you decide it's too late, why don't you try doing just one thing you can do today?"

I don't think life changes drastically all of a sudden one day.

But an ordinary day can gradually change the way you think.

The protagonist of the movie was not me.

Even so, by projecting my own image onto them through the screen,
I felt that "there is still more I can write."

Today, you only need to do one thing.

It can be in a notebook or a note on your smartphone.

Try writing just one line to your future self 10 years from now.

“I managed to get through today,”
“I was able to smile a little today,”
“I felt like it’s not too late yet.”

A single sentence like that is enough.

You don’t have to try to rewrite your entire life.

First, just add one line to today’s page.

I believe that from there, your life ahead will begin to change little by little.

Related Magazine

“In My 50s, I Finally Realized: A Way of Living That Eases the Mind”

This is a magazine that compiles what I have written in my daily realization series and my Adlerian psychology series.
It is a collection of those writings.

▶ Click here for the magazine

Series List

▶ Daily Realizations Series

I write about small realizations I have in my daily life and events that made my heart feel a little lighter.
I am documenting these experiences.

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▶ Adlerian Psychology to Reconstruct Your Life: A Toolbox for Thinking

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These are tools for your mindset.

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#Thinking Toolbox
#Adlerian Psychology
#Reconstructing Life
#Living in Your 50s
#Learning from Movies
#Daily Insights
#One-Line Diary
#Empathy Essay