Morning... When I Woke Up, Final Episode "Epilogue"
December 25th (Thu)
We held a modest Christmas party at our home. The reunion with Yumiko was moving. As soon as she saw me, she gave me a warm embrace.
"Yumiko... it's... it's tight..."
We had been talking on the phone almost every day for the past month, but a real-life reunion was special. Yumiko's husband, Masato-kun, also came with her.
"Huh? ...You're walking?!"
Masato-kun was walking slowly while leaning on a cane. Even though he had been told he would never be able to walk independently again...
Masato-kun had been researching a "mechanism to restore the connection between the brain and the legs (sending brainwave signals directly to the legs)" in America, and it seems there was a breakthrough where people who had become paralyzed from the waist down due to spinal cord injuries could walk on their own, and he said he was now able to walk for short periods himself.
"Amazing!"
"That really is amazing technology."
Yumiko looked at Masato-kun proudly. Seeing Yumiko looking so happy made my face light up too.
I casually glanced at the cane Masato-kun was holding.
"Huh? Why? That cane... is it mine...?"
"Hmm? A cane? What about the cane?"
The two of them looked at me curiously.
"No... it's nothing..."
The cane Masato-kun was using was the same one I had purchased when I transformed into "Mother."It seemed the cane had been purchased in America recently.
"Canes like that are everywhere, aren't they..."
The Christmas party was a great success, and we all shared updates on our lives while eating delicious food.
Tatsuya was accepted through AO admissions the other day, and his life in Tokyo will begin in the spring. He is scheduled to live with Tomoya, and I am proud of my sons who have grown up so well.
Yuki will be going on maternity leave starting in mid-January, so she decided to cancel her lease in Tokyo and return home for a while. After the new year, the father of her unborn childwill come to greet me once more,and the two of them are scheduled to return to Tokyo once for paperwork and other matters.
Yumiko has also been in frequent contact with Yuki, and it seems she has been giving her advice on various things like life abroad and relationships.
Yuki showed me many photos on her tablet showing her activities abroad and her recent life.My eyes caught one of them.
"Wait! That photo!"
"Hmm? What about this photo?"
It was a photo of about 10 foreigners having a party.
"This black woman is...?"
"This person? This is Kiwana, someone I do overseas support work with. Since I couldn't return to Singapore for a while, everyone got together and threw a party for me before I returned to Japan... Is something wrong with Kiwana?"
"I see..."
That woman was exactly the black woman I had transformed into, and she was even wearing the neon pink camisole I had bought at that time.
"This photo... have you ever shown me this photo of Kiwana-san before Mom had her accident?"
"Hmm... I don't think so. I only met Kiwana fairly recently, too. Why?"
Everyone was looking at me with worried faces.
"No... it's nothing. I just felt like I had seen it before."
"I don't want to worry everyone unnecessarily, and they wouldn't believe me even if I told them anyway..."
In any case, I didn't know how to explain it, so I just brushed it off.
But,I realized that my own memories up until now were not what created those realistic "transformations (dreams)."That much I understood.
Precognitive dreams... déjà vu... even though there is no explanation for it...
***
When the new year dawned, Yuki's husband visited, and the second round of greetings was completed.
Once everyone had returned to their respective homes and the usual daily routine had returned,Yuki came back again for the birth.The belongings from the house in Tokyo were moved in, everything necessary for childbirth and childcare was purchased, and the check-ups at the hospital where she would give birth were given the seal of approval, so everything was ready.
Friday, February 20th
A healthy baby girl was born on her due date and was named "Hina".
With Hina born, my busy days began again.
I wake up in the morning and make breakfast and two bento boxes. I see my husband off to the entrance and give him a kiss on the cheek. Later, I see off Tatsuya once he is ready. After sending them both off, I start the laundry and clean up after breakfast.
Yuki and Hina seem to be sleeping quietly, so I leave them be. A morning news program plays at a low volume from the television that was left on. I watch it without really watching while washing the dirty dishes. The next moment, I dropped the plate I was holding with a crash.
"New Spring Lipstick—'hanasaku' Lipstick—What color suits you?"
The lipstick held by Nanao Matsushima, shown in a close-up on the large screen, was
that deep crimson lipstick from back then.
"What does this mean..."
At that moment, I was brought back to reality by Hina's crying and Yuki's scream, "Kyaa!" I hurriedly run up the stairs.
"What's wrong?!""Hina pooped... it leaked from her diaper and the futon is a mess..."
Yuki has a face that looks like she is about to cry.
"You scared me. If that's all it is, it's nothing. Alright, alright, I'll take the sheets off. Have you fed her yet?"
"I just fed her a little while ago. She wakes up crying many times in the middle of the night, and even though I'm sleepy, she won't let me sleep, and I'm at my limit from lack of sleep..."
"Hina-chan, Mommy is about to cry, you know? Tell Mommy to do her best. Hina-chan, your bottom feels uncomfortable, so let's go with Grandma to get all cleaned up, shall we?"
"I'm sorry... Mom. Being a mother is painful, and tough, and hard, isn't it... I... I don't have any confidence anymore..."
Come to think of it... When Yuki was born, my breasts were swollen and painful, I was sleepy, and I was full of anxiety because I didn't know anything about my first time raising a child... it was tough.
"Oh... I had this happen to me too.
Come to think of it, back then, my mother said this—"
"It's okay. All the mothers in the world have walked this path. (Minako) Yuki will get used to it little by little, and will become a mother little by little, so don't worry. This is the time when you're most sleep-deprived and having the hardest time, so just rest whenever you can. Once your physical strength returns, your heart will feel better too."
I had unconsciously said the same words as my mother.
"Don't mess around with your smartphone, go to sleep."
(I added this to fit modern times!)
I carry Hina down to the living room. After wiping her bottom clean and finishing changing her clothes, that same commercial with Nanao Matsushima played again.
But I didn't care about that anymore.
I turn off the TV and play some quiet music.
I pick up Hina, stand by the window where the soft sunlight shines in, and while humming a tune, I slowly soothe her.
Today is a mild spring day. No... according to the calendar, it's already long into spring. Thanks to the tumultuous past few months, I haven't had the time to savor the passage of time or the changing of the seasons.
"What a pathetic creature a mother is," I think deeply.
No matter how old I get, and no matter how old my child gets, I cannot stop being a mother, and in front of my mother, I am always a "child."
And it is also a fact that there is a part of me that cannot, and does not want to, stop being a mother.
Hina's pleasant weight, the scent of milk, and the warmth against my arm fill me with euphoria. Her plump cheeks and lips move with little sucking motions from time to time. I can hear Hina's soothing breathing.
"I could watch this forever. I wonder if this is the peace of mind that only a grandma can have."
While humming, I slowly rock my body, now one with Hina.
"Now then, what shall I make for dinner today? Something Yuki likes... something that will give him energy. What would be good?"
Today, just like any other day, I simply think about the dinner menu for my beloved family.
The End
Thank you so much for reading until the end❤
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