#19-2 Daily communication is the key to both family and work. The power of a relationship where "feelings are understood" - Seiya Inoue

Hello. The middle part of our 19th episode (this program is delivered in three parts: first, middle, and last) features Seiya Inoue, representative of the Child-rearing Designers Association, who previously appeared in our feedback episode as a graduate of the 73rd Work-Life Balance Consultant Training Course. We welcome him from Tokyo to discuss his experience as the first man at his company to take "shortened working hours" and how to "achieve zero overtime."

🔽 Feedback episode article

🔽 First part article

Work-life balance initiatives

Last week, we heard how a comment from his wife when they were expecting their second child became a turning point, leading him to become the first man at his company to take "shortened working hours." His efforts to create a win-win relationship for both family and work were very encouraging as a fellow parent raising children.

The results of high-quality communication. Wife's return to full-time work

──How did the situation at home change after that?

Inoue　I think what I gained from shortened working hours was, after all, time with my family. I was able to get home around 5:30 PM, pick up the children from daycare, and give them a bath. Even before taking shortened working hours, I often talked with my wife, but those conversations were mostly about getting tasks done.

I think casual conversations increased after I started working shortened hours.What I felt at that time was that the quality of communication had changed. Ultimately, if you aren't connected emotionally on a daily basis, you end up being formal and keeping your guard up when it comes time to decide on important matters, don't you?

Even if you tentatively ask, "Do you have a moment?", it creates a tense atmosphere like "We're going to talk about something important now," and it feels like you're about to be told something incredibly surprising. The response from the other person is just as tense, saying "What is it?", and it creates even more of a wall.

Even in this state, it might be fine from the perspective of just getting tasks done. However, if there is a wall in the family atmosphere in daily life, it can lead to a life that doesn't feel enjoyable. I think it is important for couples to communicate, including casual conversation, on a daily basis.

Through that, I was able to realize the importance of being emotionally connected. In the end, by the time my wife went on maternity leave for our second daughter, I think she had been able to return to full-time work.

Maekawa　I see. Even if it is possible in terms of time to return to full-time work, I think it is quite difficult in terms of feelings, so it must be the result of communication.

Inoue　I understand that difficulty in terms of feelings very well. I myself value the emotional aspect very much at work as well. When working, I place importance not only on the physical time burden but also on the emotional burden. For example, if a task takes an hour but is very difficult or requires a lot of mental energy, if you look at it from the perspective of human energy, it must be consuming a lot of resources.

In that situation, I can well understand why someone wouldn't feel like returning to full-time work.

Maekawa: Since I can really understand your wife's position, I think being able to return to full-time work is a result of the communication between you as a couple. I thought that the way your family is would also change from that result.

Mr. Inoue: Thank you. After all, you only live once, so I want my wife to think, 'I'm glad I married this person.' Of course, I personally think, 'I'm glad I married my wife and have a family.' I want to continue to value communication with my family from now on as well.

Maekawa: I just remembered, but I think hormonal balance after childbirth is unstable, and there were many times when I felt anxious. You said that being able to return to full-time work from shorter working hours was a result of communication between you as a couple, but I think it must have been truly reassuring for your wife that you took shorter working hours.

In the talk by Yoshie Komuro of Work Life Balance Co., Ltd., I think there was a survey result that 'the number one cause of death for wives after childbirth is suicide due to postpartum depression.' Indeed, because my hormonal balance was unstable, I understand it well, but I would react excessively to things that I wouldn't normally think anything of, and I would become very anxious.

At such times, I think it was truly wonderful that you, Mr. Inoue, were always near your wife and communicating with her. I thought it was good to be able to hear this wonderful episode this time.

Mr. Inoue: When I took shorter working hours, my wife didn't say it directly to me, but I think she was grateful. I have another episode about the time she became anxious after childbirth, so I would like to talk about it. It was when our second daughter was born, I think it was about 1-2 months later, and when it comes to raising a second child, the tasks piled up accordingly, and life became busy.

When I was bathing our second daughter, I thought I was fine, but it seemed like my support for her was shaky, and she almost slipped out. At that time, my wife reacted excessively.

I was also busy and irritated, so when I said, 'I'm always bathing her, so it's okay,' my wife was also surprised that she had reacted excessively and said, 'I'm sorry, I was surprised and said a little too much, but...' 'I have never held anything this precious in my life.' she said to me.

For me, those words from my wife were shocking. I was also taken aback by those words. I was doing the bathing of our second daughter as a task, but for my wife, it was not a task, but she was facing a life while carrying pressure.

I felt that childcare with this kind of feeling carries a much greater pressure than it looks. Even just by itself, when the mind and body are unstable due to hormonal balance, if you carry this much pressure, I thought that it is normal to become 'postpartum depressed.'

Thinking about it that way, I thought that it is also possible that 'the number one cause of death for wives after childbirth is suicide.'

Maekawa: What I was very moved by was the words of your wife that shocked you, Mr. Inoue. I don't think there are many men who notice that deeply. Since men do not give birth, I think it is difficult to understand that feeling.

It is very wonderful that you, Mr. Inoue, understood your wife's feelings after childbirth. Imagining that you properly conveyed that to your wife, I thought that the bond between you as a couple must have deepened.

Mr. Inoue: Thank you. We do fight accordingly, but I try to convey my feelings properly.

What are the ingenuity to realize 'almost zero overtime'...

───Changing the subject, after you returned to full-time work, Mr. Inoue, there was talk of a promotion again, you were successfully promoted, and since then you have continuously realized 'almost zero overtime,' so I would definitely like to hear about your specific efforts.

Mr. Inoue: After I returned to full-time work, thanks to you, I was promoted to manager. Even after being promoted to manager, there is almost no overtime. I would like to talk about the ingenuity I performed to make such work possible.

The first ingenuity is 'identifying tasks and measuring the time spent on them.' If you do this once, I think you can continue it intuitively without being conscious of it afterwards. By placing myself in an environment where I cannot work overtime, in other words, 'an environment where the indulgence of being able to work overtime is not allowed,' I think the efficiency per unit of time has improved dramatically.

The second ingenuity is 'building relationships with people around you.' After all, whether at work or outside of work, 'what kind of relationship you build with the people around you' is very important. When a subordinate is struggling with work, if I, as a boss, go home early, I think the subordinate will surely feel uneasy.

Because it is a good workplace environment where we get along well, I think the subordinate would not tell me even if they felt uneasy. However, I do not want to make my subordinates feel uneasy. My boss is the same, he doesn't complain, but I don't know when he will complain when I have a gap.

At that time, what I focused on was insisting on the 'quality of work'. After all, since I can't handle the volume, if I don't maintain quality, my performance will suffer. From the perspective of my subordinates, it looks like, 'My boss leaves early, but the quality of his work is extremely high, and he always finishes the tasks he needs to do before leaving.'

If that's the case, I think they will surely think, 'Maybe I should try to compete on quality instead of working long hours to produce value.' I was very conscious of that.

Maekawa That's really great. When working long hours, subordinates can't imagine 'doing good work in a short time,' but if their boss is achieving that, they can think, 'Maybe I can do it too, let me give it a try,' so I imagined it must be a good environment for your subordinates as well.

Mr. Inoue I am very grateful to hear you say that.

──I often hear about 'management becoming a punishment game,' but I thought this might be a solution to that. What do you think?

Mr. Inoue That is exactly right. I am also doing this with that awareness. In modern times, 'management as a punishment game' is a common topic, isn't it? If you see a manager who looks miserable, you wouldn't want to become a manager yourself, would you? I strongly believe that 'if managers aren't shining, the organization won't be revitalized.'

"Four Major Techniques" to streamline work

──Are there any techniques that can ensure the quality of work?

Mr. Inoue There are 'four major efficiency techniques' that I continue to use myself. The first is to 'set meeting and task times in 30 or 45-minute increments.' Instead of one hour, I use 30 or 45-minute blocks.

The second is to 'utilize alerts when working.' I used to use my smartphone, but now I use an Apple Watch. To digress a little, when I arrive at the office, I look at my schedule, dictate it all by voice, and ask my Apple Watch to 'set an alert 3 minutes before the meeting.'

I started doing this about a year ago. I didn't feel the benefit of doing it on an Apple Watch since I could do it on my smartphone, but now I really like it. It's easy to set alarms, so I feel like it became a habit immediately.

Maekawa That is an important thing for making it a habit. If the hurdle is high, it's hard to make it a routine, but if you just dictate it into something you're wearing, you feel like you can 'keep it up,' so it becomes a habit, doesn't it?

Mr. Inoue That is exactly right. Please, give it a try. The third is to 'register and secure work time in your scheduler.' Many people are already doing this, but if there is an opening in your scheduler, plans will be squeezed in, so if you don't secure time for your own work, your time will be taken away more and more.

Finally, the fourth is to 'confirm the scope of work and goal settings in meetings.' I think many people are quite conscious of this. In particular, everyone at Work Life Balance Co., Ltd. is doing this. I think this is truly important.

Maekawa That is true. I would definitely like many people to know about this content.

Four steps for introducing work that are emphasized in management

──Since then, you have been working as a manager, and I would love to hear about that as well.

Mr. Inoue As a manager, it is necessary to have a perspective not only on individual performance but also on how to improve performance as an entire team. Also, I think managers are expected to fulfill that role. In management, what I value is the work introduction process.

Specifically, what I am practicing involves four tasks, just like before. To put it briefly, it centers on 'assignment'.First, 'confirm whether the work you are doing now or will do in the future is truly necessary'.

First, I check the cost-performance, risks, etc., at the beginning. Generally, I think many employees have work handed down to them by their superiors. At that time, I properly confirm the 'purpose of doing this task, the cost involved, the risk of doing it, and the risk of not doing it' at the entrance of starting the work, and try to 'select and discard tasks'.

When there is a comment like 'Is there any point in doing this task?' regarding work that is done conventionally, I think, 'Yes, it's here. This is a chance,' and I make a proposal to not do the task.

Maekawa That is wonderful.

──I feel like there are many people who cannot do this, but what do you think?

Mr. Inoue I think there are more people who cannot do it. I don't think the reason they can't is a problem of work skills. I think this is probably the relationship between the superior and the subordinate.

It is hard to imagine a subordinate confirming the content of work as mentioned earlier for a task assigned by a superior. I am recognized by my superior as 'a person who confirms work content one by one,' so they don't think anything of it, but if the 'relationship between the superior and myself' is not properly established, it feels like I am rebelling.

I think there are many people who are afraid of that and cannot confirm things one by one.

Maekawa Even if work is assigned by a superior, people who say 'Understood' without 'confirming the work content' can stay out of trouble, or rather, I feel like there are many such relationships in companies. However, if you build a good relationship between a superior and a subordinate, you can eliminate work that doesn't need to be done, right?

Mr. Inoue I really think so. In a position like mine, which is a middle management position among managers, by doing the 'selection and discarding of tasks' for them, I can also gain the trust of my subordinates. This is something I value very much, and if I can do that, I think I can continue to 'select and discard tasks' more and more.

The second is to 'always confirm the level of output and the deadline to estimate the workload'. What is especially important is the level of expectation. If the other party is asking for 'a rough draft at 50 points,' and you work without confirming the level, you might proceed with the preconceived notion that 'I have to produce about 80 points'.

I think it is also very important to have the courage to do low-quality work at times.

Maekawa Indeed, I also often spend time on tasks due to assumptions, but if that disappears, I think time can really be shortened, the direction will not be mistaken, and work will go smoothly.

Mr. Inoue By 'confirming the level of expectation,' I think the superior will also be helped. I also tell my subordinates about that, so when they put 80 points of effort into a task that only needs 50 points, it will probably be 2-3 days later than a 50-point task, so I tell them, 'If you're going to do that, it would help me more if you just quickly submitted it at 50 points.'

Since I think that kind of thing happens, "having the courage to confirm the level of expectation" is something I would definitely recommend doing. The third point is to "check the deadline and determine if the schedule is reasonable." That is what I mean.

Finally, the fourth point is to "properly consider who is the best person to assign to that task." This is where a manager's skill really shows, but there are times when I show weakness too. For example, there are times when you think, "This person is the best for this task, but they are swamped with work right now, so it's hard to ask them."

Maekawa That happens.

Mr. Inoue However, when you think about the whole picture, you have to consider "what is the optimal assignment." In some cases, it might be better to assign this task to someone who is already swamped, so you take away their current work, assign it to someone else, and then you just have to reassemble it like a puzzle. That's all it is.

In the end, office work is a team sport. I played soccer when I was young, and I was in a position where I had to organize the whole team from the middle. With a similar feeling, I have always had a sense of "how should I move here, and who should move in what way for the team to function."

Properly grasping the characteristics and potential of your members might be very important. To grasp the characteristics and potential of members, I feel that having high-quality communication with members on a daily basis is ultimately important as well.

Maekawa As I thought, because communication is the axis, I think the fourth point can be realized.

Mr. Inoue Indeed, now that you mention it, Maekawa-san, I realize that I have said the word "communication" many times. I suppose that means it is something I place great importance on within myself.

Especially in management, I think that is the case, but in the end, I believe there is no single answer that says "if you do this, it will definitely work." The optimal solution changes depending on the personality, characteristics, and abilities of the team members, so information about the members is absolutely necessary to come up with that optimal solution.

That information is not a command, so I think it means that if you don't value communication, you won't be able to get the necessary information.

"Never run away no matter what happens" - Core unwavering values as a boss

──How do you go about having high-quality communication and making sure you understand the situation of your members?

Mr. Inoue I use Excel. I use Excel to visualize the members' tasks to a certain extent. Also, not just the members' tasks, but from my perspective, I grasp the members' strengths and weaknesses. I manage and save this Excel information properly.

What I am very conscious of is that "I am a boss who will definitely help you in the end, no matter what happens." I think there are times when you go home early and aren't there when they want to rely on you.

At such times, I think the struggle for a subordinate is the pressure of "what if something happens there and I have to make a decision, but I make the wrong one?"

If they can think, "If something happens, Inoue-san will handle it in the end," or "He won't run away and will take responsibility in the end," I think the subordinates can feel at ease. I don't like to say various things about failures that have already occurred. I do analyze and reflect on the failure itself to make use of it next time.

However, there is no point in grilling them, asking "why couldn't you do it?" or "why did you do this?", so I am very careful about that. I really feel that "management is truly a living thing." In the end, it's a case-by-case basis, isn't it?

The content I just talked about was an initiative of a previous organization, and in the organization I am currently in, there are times when I take a slightly different approach or way of thinking, but what is important is the core part, the part about beliefs and values. I believe that "being a boss who never runs away when something happens" is a core value.

I feel like I do my work with the sense of holding onto that firmly, and then matching and optimizing it for each situation, for that organization, and for the people who are there.

Maekawa I think that having core values and the kind of communication that says, "I will definitely help you in the end," builds a relationship of trust. I really feel that this is the secret to keeping the team together.

Earlier, you mentioned that you create a better team by using Excel to visualize things, such as the strengths and weaknesses of your members. I heard that you also practice this Excel management method at home, which led to the creation of your "Child-rearing Design Notebook."

I would love to hear more about this next week. Thank you very much. Thank you for your time today.

Mr. Inoue Thank you. I look forward to speaking with you again next week.

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Work-Life Balance Co., Ltd.
Work-life balance as a management strategy. Not as a part of employee benefits, but for improving corporate performance. We are a group of professionals in "sustainable work-style reform" that builds environments where talent can adapt to modern social structures and continue to produce results.

🔽Portrait Illustration
Mika Oya
Lives in Tokyo, graduate of Kyoto University of Art and Design. An illustrator who draws people, food, and animals, mainly using watercolors and drawings, while raising children. Active in a wide range of fields including packaging, posters, and merchandise. Draws everyday scenes and people with a gentle, transparent touch. Winner of the Michiyo Miyako Award at the Peters Gallery Competition 2014, among others.

Editing, Producing, Interviewing: Miki Maekawa (Work-Life Challenge Project Representative / Branding Director)
Note Editing: Minako Matsumoto (Next Generation Child Education Consultant / Certified Work-Life Balance Consultant)
Note Proofreading: Hirofumi Iwashita (LIFE Innovation General Incorporated Association Representative Director / Work-Life Balance Certified Senior Consultant)

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