Working hard but feeling like you're the only one struggling—how to deal with the habit of comparing yourself to others

Every day, I keep doing the same thing.

From morning until night, I spend my time working on it.

And yet, I see no results.

When I look around, people who started at the same time are already seeing results.

The moment I thought that, all my motivation vanished.

The true nature of the habit of comparing yourself to others

What are we doing when we feel that way?

We look at social media.

We look at the achievements of people who started the same thing.

They started after me, yet they are already seeing results.

They have spent the same amount of time, yet they are so much further ahead.

They are doing easily what I cannot do.

Every time I compare myself like that, I feel smaller and smaller.

I also had a period where my follower count wouldn't grow, even though I had been keeping up with my note for 280 days.

People who started at the same time already had over 1,000 followers.

Humans are wired to be extremely afraid of their own losses.

If I lose to this person, I have no value.

If I am inferior to this person, I am a failure.

That kind of fear is what creates the habit of comparing yourself to others.

Why do we compare ourselves to others?

However, there is something I want you to realize here.

Comparing yourself to others means you are only looking at the other person's "results."

How much time they spent.

What kind of environment they were in.

What kind of failures they have experienced.

None of those things are visible.

People have a tendency to overestimate the success of others and underestimate their own efforts.

The "results" we see look larger than they actually are.

Our own "process" looks smaller than it actually is.

This distortion creates the feeling that you are the only one struggling despite working hard.

In my case, I am currently receiving welfare benefits.

Due to poor health, I have a persistent low-grade fever of around 37.5 degrees Celsius and fatigue every day.

Even so, I continue to write on note.

But when I look around, I see healthy people active and full of energy.

When I think that, I start to feel small.

But I realized something.

That what I am looking at is my own "process" and the other person's "results."

Realizing this structure is the first step.

How to stop comparing

So, what should you do?

Honestly, it's not easy to stop.

I still compare myself to others even now.

But little by little, the time I spend comparing myself to who I was yesterday has increased.

Look only at your own "process".

Compare this "process" with who you were yesterday.

You moved forward a little.

You accomplished a little.

You changed a little.

This is the right way to compare.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

This is how you let go of the habit of comparing yourself to others.

In my case, I have been keeping up with my note for 280 days.

I compare this "process" with who I was yesterday.

I wrote one more article than yesterday.

I gained one more follower than yesterday.

I earned even one yen more than yesterday.

A step you can take starting today

If you are currently feeling like "I'm working hard, but I'm the only one struggling".

Please try doing just one thing today.

Stop checking social media in the morning and read the article you wrote yesterday instead.

What has progressed since yesterday?

What has changed since a week ago?

Just by looking at this, you can gradually let go of the habit of comparing yourself to others.

I, too, was constantly told by my mother to "just stop it."

Every time I tried to start something new, that's what I was told.

Because of that, before starting anything, I developed a thought pattern of first suspecting that it was "suspicious."

But, precisely because I kept challenging myself despite that, I have been able to continue writing on note for 280 days.

The habit of comparing yourself to others might be the same thing.

The voice saying "just stop it" echoes in your head.

But, you continue anyway.

Even while receiving welfare, even when in poor health, you continue anyway.

This "anyway" becomes the power to let go of the habit of comparing yourself to others.

If you stop comparing, the pain will disappear.

It might not disappear completely.

But, if the time you spend comparing yourself to your past self gradually increases, that is enough.

How do you feel about this?