My money was disappearing without me knowing what I spent it on

"What did I spend it on this month?"

Every time I look at my bankbook, this question pops into my head.

I know my PayPay balance. I can also check my bank accounts if I open the apps.

But in the end, I don't know "how much I have in total."

I don't know how much cash I have. It's a hassle to open an app for every account. My electronic money top-up history is all over the place.

"So, how much do I actually have right now?"

I continued to be in a state where I couldn't answer that question immediately.

I felt like I was spending money, but only the feeling of it not remaining was piling up.

Those days continued for a long time.

The feeling of money disappearing even when I have it

I have lived a life of constant financial struggle.

There were times when I temporarily had money in the millions of yen.

But because I spent it without thinking, I didn't save, I squandered it, and before I knew it, the money was gone.

"What did I spend it on?"

I was someone who couldn't answer that question.

I don't remember what I spent or how much.

A few hundred yen at a convenience store. A few thousand yen online. Before I knew it, tens of thousands of yen had vanished.

I don't look at receipts. I don't want to open my bankbook. I'm even afraid to check my bank balance.

I was afraid to face reality.

Not knowing what I spent it on was far more unsettling than not having money.

"I really need to manage my finances better."

Every time I think that, I install a household account book app.

But it always ended the same way.

The real reason I couldn't keep up with household account book apps

I've installed household account book apps many times.

At first, I record everything diligently.

"This time, I'll definitely keep it up."

I decide that, and record every day.

Tea bought at a convenience store, 100 yen. Lunch, 500 yen. Ingredients for dinner, 1,200 yen.

It lasts for the first week.

But then, one day, I forget to record.

I forget the next day, too.

Before I know it, three days' worth have piled up.

"Oh well, I'll just enter it all at once later."

When I think that and leave it, I can no longer remember what I bought.

I've already thrown away the receipts.

The numbers don't add up.

Even if it's just 100 yen off, it feels so unsettling.

I don't have the energy to go back and check, so I just leave it as is.

I felt there was no point in continuing when the numbers didn't add up.

Eventually, I stopped opening the app.

And before I knew it, I didn't want to face reality anymore, so I quit.

"Maybe I could do it if I had a more diligent personality."

Thinking that, I just kept repeating the same cycle.

But in reality, it wasn't a personality issue.

The system just didn't suit me.

The pressure to "record everything properly" actually became a source of stress.

The discrepancy with credit cards was the biggest stressor

What stressed me out the most was how credit cards were handled.

The month of purchase and the month of withdrawal are different.

In a standard household account book, you record an "expense" when you buy with a credit card, and then record it again when it's withdrawn from the bank.

This creates a strange feeling, as if you are paying twice.

To prevent this double counting, typical household account apps are designed to treat withdrawals as transfers and ignore them.

But then, the withdrawal history becomes invisible.

"Wait, when is this being withdrawn again?"

This anxiety never went away.

In the end, it was the same no matter which app I used.

Entering the withdrawal process every time is also a hassle.

With credit cards and deferred payments, the numbers just keep drifting further apart.

This sense of unease was the main reason I quit keeping a household budget.

So, I decided to build one myself.

I failed many times, but I didn't give up.

I don't want to save money. I don't want to increase it either.

I just wanted to understand 'why I have no money' and 'what I spent it on'.

That was all I wanted to grasp.

After uninstalling yet another household budget app, it suddenly occurred to me.

If existing systems don't suit me, why don't I just build one myself?

I knew it was reckless.

I have no programming knowledge. I don't know how to design a budget tracker.

But I didn't want to continue living in a state of 'not knowing where my money goes'.

I decided to use every means available to me.

I didn't have the knowledge, but I solved problems one by one by asking AI.

Errors would appear. I'd fix them. They'd appear again. I'd fix them again.

It was just a cycle of that.

After about three days, I finally created something that was usable at a practical level.

It's not perfect, but it has all the features I wanted.

That was the moment I realized, I can keep this up.

I solved the credit card problem with a system.

In the app I created, it is recorded as an "expense" the moment you spend it.

In the month of withdrawal, it is tagged as "💳 Credit Card Withdrawal" and displayed as "not included in expenses".

A withdrawal is a "repayment of debt," not a new expense.

The history is also properly saved.

You can also see at a glance when it will be withdrawn.

This is a feature I implemented independently to solve my own problems.

The discomfort of double counting has finally disappeared.

"Wait, how much did I spend this month?"

I can finally answer this question.

It is still under development, but I can see things now.

This is not a story about a finished household account book app.

I am still using it while fixing bugs, adding features, and testing it.

I am planning to start full-scale operation from the beginning of the year.

When you open the screen, you can see your total assets at a glance.

This month's income and expenses are also displayed right below.

How much I spent, and how much is left.

I reached a state where I could understand it without even thinking.

"How much do you have right now?"

I can now answer this question in three seconds.

It's a small change, but it was a big one.

I might be able to change from the person who spent money without thinking.

I didn't start a household account book because I wanted to save money.

I didn't start it because I wanted to increase my wealth either.

It was just that the state of "not knowing what I'm spending money on" was the most stressful part.

Not knowing was more unsettling than not having money.

Now, I know immediately how much I've spent and how much is left.

Just that alone has reduced the amount of unnecessary anxiety I feel.

And then I realized something.

When you can see your money, your reason starts to work.

"Do I really need this?"

I've become able to think like that.

I might be able to change from the person who spent money without thinking.

Thinking that makes me a little excited.

That is how I feel right now.

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