My Monologue Leaking Out [How to Boost Self-Esteem]

Episode 129.
Hello, I'm Ao😄
My self-esteem is on the lower side.
Oh, come on, you're just saying that!
If you thought that, then I've succeeded.

This time, it's amonologue episode.
As always, I'll be organizing my thoughts while I write.
So,I have no idea where this will end up(lol)

Just as I was planning to talk about this, at the perfect moment,Kokichi | Thoughts and Prejudices of a Clumsy Dadfeatured me in an article about self-esteem.
What are the odds of that?

#28 . Let's turn everything around with self-esteem and positive thinking!
First, please read this↓

Let's boost our self-esteem by converting failures and negative things into positives!That's what he's talking about.
I completely agree.
So, I've run out of things to write (lol)

Since I have no choice, let's approach the main topic from a different angle.
Jokes aside,it is a fact that my self-esteem is low.
Kokichi-san, I'm sorry about that (sweat)

For example, even if I'm praised for something,
“No, no, there are people who can do better, I'm still not there yet.”
I can't help but compare myself to those who are capable, which lowers my self-esteem.
Instead of feeling happy, I think that since there's always someone better, I'm still not good enough.

I think my standards are probably just too high.
Previously, an acquaintance once told me,“You have a craftsman's spirit when it comes to making things.”

Ah, that might be true.
If I'm going to make something, I want it to be good.
Something I can be satisfied with.

That's why when I'm asked to make something with leathercraft, I wonder, is this level okay?
I can't help butcompare it to things already on the marketand think I can't make anything that good, whichlowers my self-esteem.

I'm sure the people who ask me for things aren't looking for that, but rather want originality, yet it's hard to change one's personality.

But you know, when I make things for myself, I compromise constantly.
The quality is just, well, good enough, I guess.

Ah, so that's why...
Maybe it's because I get praised for that level of quality that I end up saying, 'This is still not good enough.'

That makes it quite difficult.
Basically, I'm lazy, so I compromise on my own stuff at 70 or 80 percent completion.
But when I'm praised, I might be saying, 'That's not perfect! I'm still not there yet!'
Who on earth do I think I am? (lol)

My self-esteem drops because I compare myself to those who are capable.
This might sound bad, but if I compare myself to those who aren't doing anything, maybe I'm doing something pretty amazing.
If I can look at it that way, maybe my self-esteem will go up too.

I wonder if this is one solution.

And one more thing.

A method I use to boost my own self-esteem.

Self-suggestion that involves others is what it is.

The opening greeting in the articles I write.
That is quite an adventure.

"The era is now Aoi Hiroki"

"I'm a high-consciousness type"

You couldn't say things like that unless your self-esteem was high, right?
Would someone with low self-esteem ever say such a thing?
While making myself and others think that way, I'm trying to turn it into a fait accompli.

That's exactly why I talk big every time and use self-suggestion.
This, you know, is actually quite effective.
In fact, I feel like my self-esteem is rising.

Could it be that I'm actually pretty cool?
(That's just being delusional, isn't it?)

Fortunately, I haven't received a single complaint, so I can't deny that it feels like it's escalating (lol).

I'm a bit worried that I might eventually start saying something really cringey like
"The world shall bow before Aoi Hiroki!"
...

To summarize,
if your self-esteem is low, I think it's okay to pretend to be someone with high self-esteem, at least within your notes.
When you do it every single time, you start to feel like it, which is interesting.

However, let's exercise self-control before becoming someone cringey.

So, this time,

as one of my goals for continuing to write notes, it was about boosting self-esteem to the max!

That was the story.

Thank you for reading until the end today as well😊
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If you found the story interesting, I would be happy if you also supported me.

See you later!
It was Aoi😄

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