Judge's Award Utsu-Spi Tsurukame Cup

First of all,
Iced tea searching for conversation in a straw
Poo (Haiku pen name: Kaze)

Kaze-san, congratulations on reaching the top of 385 entries!

I thought this was a haiku written by someone skilled, with effective use of omission.
How I interpreted it was:
(There might be plenty of things to talk about on the table, but they can't talk about them well,)in the straw(even)searching for conversation(in an atmosphere as awkward as that)iced tea(the two of them drinking)
was the feeling.

In my mind, it reminded me of a boss and a subordinate, thinking, 'What on earth should I talk about with this boss?'
But looking at the various comments sent to Kaze-san,
this awkward atmosphere is something everyone feels,
or people who were reminded of the atmosphere with a lover,
I think it was the Grand Prize as a result of gathering empathy from many people!

It was a haiku that truly, realistically, made me hear the awkward air and even the sound of ice clinking in the iced tea amidst the silence!
Thank you for the wonderful haiku!

I have never won the Grand Prize either, so let's all aim for the Grand Prize next time!

Judge's Award.
I will announce them starting from 6th place.

I appreciated them without knowing the author's name, etc.,
and I feel like I'm finally going to check the author's name to write this article!
I'm nervous too!

Sixth place!

Packing for a trip on the spur of putting on sunglasses

It's a work by Mei-san!

Haiku, I'm sure, if it's 'a straight causal relationship'
(*e.g., in the middle of a trip while wearing sunglasses)
(wearing sunglasses to block sunlight), etc.,
I think it might lack surprise and just become an explanation of the seasonal word.

Perhaps when you put on sunglasses in front of the mirror, your heart felt excited,
and you felt like traveling.
Surely, if you put on sunglasses indoors, your vision would get dark, and it would be hard to prepare for a trip, right! (lol)
While making the reader think about such things,

are you packing for a trip while wearing sunglasses, in an excited mood?
I chose this because the author's excited mood came through!
I could picture the happy author.
I felt an excitement that makes me think they might be whistling or humming, or rather, it wouldn't be strange if they were singing at the top of their lungs!

'Packing for a trip on the spur of (putting on) sunglasses'.
The word 'tsuide' (on the spur of/while at it) is good, isn't it?
It gives this haiku a light finish.

(e.g., packing for tomorrow's trip while wearing sunglasses)
With the word 'tsuide', the figure of someone truly used to traveling comes to mind.

I think the true meaning of sunglasses (the meaning of the seasonal word)
includes the idea of wearing them while traveling.
I thought it was wonderful because it captured the excited mood before going on a trip!

Thank you for the wonderful haiku!

When I go to the article,
I am a haiku beginner, and this is a reckless challenge with only knowledge of 5-7-5 and seasonal words.

I was surprised! Thank you for the wonderful haiku!

Fifth place

Cracks running along the rock wall, mountain centipede

It's a work by Kyodai Koro-san!

It's a skillful haiku, isn't it.
A crack runs along the rock wall; one wonders if the crack is the result of something having happened.
That is what the reader thinks.
And then, the betrayal in the last five syllables. It turns out it was a 'mountain centipede'.

I thought it was a wonderful haiku that understands the structure of haiku well and creates surprise by providing the answer in the last five syllables!

Is there anything to explain?

I thought this was a haiku that betrays the reader in the last five syllables while demonstrating an understanding of haiku structure. The reason I rated it highly is that I thought, 'Did they write this with an understanding of the structure of the human brain?'

I don't think the human brain recognizes things that quickly.

I also go for walks often, so,
for example, walking on a mountain path, looking at a rock wall at the edge of my vision that looks a bit dark,
A crack (perceived as such) runs (runs + 'ri' for continuation) along the rock wall
Classical Grammar Auxiliary Verb 'ri' (hello-school.net)

Ah, that part of the rock wall on the mountain side,
it looks like a crack—
→Huh? Did it move a little?
Ah! It was a mountain centipede!

That is the interpretation I arrived at.

I wonder how this haiku is actually meant to be read!
It's a wonderful haiku!
Congratulations!

Fourth Place

A gentle breeze's kiss, a summer evening

This is Makoto-san's work!

This haiku is gentle and beautiful.

By transforming the sensation of the wind into a kiss,
I think it resonates well with the romantic feeling of a summer evening.

It's a haiku that makes you feel gentle.

Everyone might be thinking, 'Isn't a work with a longer explanation a better one?'
It feels like, does this haiku even need an explanation? But, in my own way.

How to handle the phrase 'a kiss of the wind'.
Looking at these words alone, it's a sweet phrase,
and I think it might look like it was made (theoretically).
That's where the 'gentle breeze' in the first five syllables comes in.
Originally, wind is something that blows, so
in haiku, when talking about wind,
using up character counts to say 'blows' is usually a disadvantage.
However, here, 'gentle breeze' →
(by layering words to explain what kind of wind it is) it feels like 'a kiss of the wind'.
By layering the word order, I felt that the phrase 'a kiss of the wind' matched perfectly.
And, the sensation of a summer evening, a time when the summer heat has eased a bit and it has become more comfortable, matches well.

Thank you for the wonderful haiku that skillfully incorporated a lovely phrase!

Third Place

Holding a fan, the death road to the convenience store

This is KOMA's work!

It was a haiku that skillfully and realistically captured a "modern feel"!

Walking to the convenience store holding a paper fan.
Describing that path as a "death road" is the author's originality, isn't it?
Have you ever thought of such a word? Moreover, it hits the nail on the head regarding the modern heat.

The summers lately really are hot, aren't they?
It was a wonderful haiku that captured the modern era well by describing that as a "death road"!

Commentary.
I wonder if the paper fan in this instance was one you received when you went somewhere.
I imagined a fan like the ones you get at a summer festival,
but I think it's also fine if it has a character or a favorite character on it. (lol)

I wrote about my selection criteria before, but

I don't know how the senior haiku poets would evaluate this haiku.

But, this heat in 2022.
The hiragana for paper fan -> it's wonderful because it feels like a modern paper fan after all.
Convenience store -> it captures the modern scene well after all.

Death road.
This word didn't come up when I looked it up in the dictionary.
Only Mad Max came up.
A word like death road,
people who specialize in English might get angry at me.
It might be a word that should originally be taken more seriously.

But, since the word "death goal" has also been used in the past,
I personally think that in the Japanese linguistic sense,
we allow the combination of "death + something."
(Perhaps it seems that way to me especially because I am familiar with video games)

I haven't seen the movie, so I wonder in what sense the translation title of Mad Max was used.
(I'm curious if there are other "death-something" terms)

For us modern people who are used to air conditioning, the road to the convenience store.
Even if it's only a few hundred meters, it is a "death road"!

Using the traditional item "paper fan" in hiragana,
I can also feel the flow of the times from the kanji for fan to the hiragana,
and thank you for a haiku that skillfully captured the modern summer and our sensibilities.
Thank you for the wonderful haiku!

Second Place

Edamame pods lined up beautifully on a plate

This is Yururi no Mushi-ebi's work!

It's a skillful haiku, isn't it?
What makes it skillful is,
I think that when you obtain something like a "camera" that can capture any moment, which is what a haiku is, it becomes important to decide what to capture.
(I think the top-ranked haiku are those that react strongly to either the reader's "empathy" or "surprise" categories.)

I thought, 'So you cut it here!'

To my embarrassment, I am the type of person who handles edamame pods carelessly, so
when I saw this haiku, it made me straighten my posture.

What kind of meticulous pair of people are lined up?
Are they sitting in seiza, facing each other and having a serious conversation?

Through this haiku, I could see a person who lives carefully and the space they inhabit, so
I thought this haiku had a wonderful perspective and was a lovely piece!

Commentary.
A plate where edamame pods are lined up neatly

This haiku, as far as the subject matter goes, is quite ordinary, isn't it?
A plate where edamame pods are lined up.
The edamame I have imagined and encountered until now
were 'edamame pods lined up haphazardly.'
That is why this word 'neatly,'
the charm of the reaction that occurs when they are lined up neatly, is what it's about.

I didn't know if it was the pods before eating or after eating.
So, I wondered if when piling them up, they aren't just heaped in a mound, but
are they being piled up with the directions aligned?
Are the pods after eating also being placed with their directions aligned?
That is what I thought.

Even after encountering this haiku.
I think my life will continue to be one where I pile edamame pods haphazardly in a mound and toss them onto the plate when I'm finished eating.

That is precisely why, from the neatly arranged edamame pods, I wondered if the other dishes on the table were also plated with care.
What kind of attitude do the people living there have toward food and life?
My imagination kept expanding, so I chose it!

Thank you for the wonderful work!

And the grand first place is!

Coming to the summer mountain, I see my family anew

It is Tsuru-san's work!

This is a haiku overflowing with lived experience!

When climbing a summer mountain, there are surely difficult things like preparing bento and tea.
'Let's climb a summer mountain next Sunday.'
Even if you say that, unlike something like a summer beach (another seasonal word),
you don't just zoom there by car and arrive;
I think there is the hardship of climbing a mountain.

There might be times when you feel like you don't want to climb anymore.
You encounter plants and various things, you sweat. Everyone takes a breath together.

Sharing that time, 'I see my family anew.'
Ah, I thought it was a wonderful family story, so it took first place!

I was very moved by the exclamation toward this grand phrase, 'I see my family anew'!

Commentary.
Coming to the summer mountain, I see my family anew

In this case, 'family once again'.
'Depict a scene or action where you felt like a family once again.'
I think there are some senior haiku poets who would say that.
There is also the opinion that haiku is about incorporating some kind of action or object.

But, the grandeur of taking this big phrase 'family once again' plus the exclamation 'kana'.
I thought it was the one I liked the most because it was honestly made into a haiku.
I was moved by the fact that you can incorporate the feeling of family!

As for the choice of seasonal word (and the reasoning), it's a summer mountain, isn't it.
After all, there is the hardship of preparation and travel.
Also, the vitality of summer,
I think it resonates with the energy and vitality of the family that went there.
A story of a family within the large seasonal word of 'summer mountain'.
If you imagine the scale, the summer mountain is big and the people might be small, but
by zooming in on the 'emotions' of that family, I thought the effect of the contrast was also working.

And, in this modern day. I think we have become too busy.
Schools, workplaces, and human relationships are all full of difficulties.
It might have been a moment of peace for a family that may have had deep circumstances.

With 'summer mountain' and 'coming', I felt the hardship of getting there.
I felt that there might be deep circumstances behind 'once again'. This 'family kana', this exclamation about family.
The thoughts started to overflow and become visible.
I thought 'family once again' was a very wonderful phrase!
'Family once again', I want to live a life with many moments where I feel that way.
Since encountering this haiku, I have been spending my time thinking about such things.

Thank you for the wonderful work!

So, this time for Utsu-Spi, it was an official award!

Well then, I look forward to working with you again!

Let's meet again somewhere!

With love!

P.S.

Here is a summary of the private awards so far.

If you have started to feel like writing more haiku, please check out these articles too!

For those who want to study lightly.

For those who don't mind long texts and want to study, go here.

As for open submissions that anyone can apply to,
recently 'Sports Haiku' and 'Toyota Car Haiku' are calling for entries!

Let's enjoy this!

I look forward to working with you again!

With love!