[To Parents Raising Children with ASD] 'The First Thing You Should Do' from an Autistic Individual

And above all, there is the reality that the parents themselves were struggling with parenting neurosis, mental illness, and even intellectual disabilities.
No one was to blame.
But no one could help.

In the midst of that, I am somehow able to work now. However, that is the result of 'coincidental' luck stacking up, and I still feel that if left alone, there was a danger of being cast out by society.

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■ ASD is not just a problem for the 'child themselves'

When your child is diagnosed with a developmental disability, I think many parents feel confused, wondering 'what should I do?'

First, let me say this.
You haven't done anything wrong.

ASD is an innate brain characteristic, not the result of how you raised them or the environment. And in many cases, genetic factors are also involved. In other words, the 'adults supporting the child' may also have these characteristics themselves.

This is not something to be blamed for; it is important to notice it and prepare.

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■ What I want parents to do first

While it is important to look into therapy or consult with schools and support organizations immediately after receiving a diagnosis, there is one thing I want to convey most strongly.

That is,

'Start preparing for after the parents are gone' right now.

That is what I mean.

Parents are not eternal.
However, children with ASD characteristics need a lot of time and support to acquire the 'ability to live alone'.
That is precisely why financial preparation is important.

For example—
• Take out double or triple life insurance
• Gather information on trusts and guardianship systems so the child will not have trouble in the future
• List options for 'housing,' 'income sources,' and 'human connections' for after the parents are gone

I want you to prepare these three things as early as possible.

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■ I am working now. But that might be a miracle

I am working like this now, writing articles and sending out information using AI. But there was a blank period of over 15 years to get here. There were times when I fell into depression, cut off contact with society, and even my place to live was in jeopardy.

Even so, I have lived by re-tying the thread of hope that remained, however slightly, with my own hands.

That is why I want to say it loudly.
Your child's future will change based on your preparations today.

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■ Finally: Your child is not 'your responsibility' alone

Society is not yet perfect.
Misunderstandings and prejudices against ASD are deep-rooted.
But the systems are gradually being put in place. Support systems, understanding schools, flexible ways of working. There are definitely more paths to choose from than in the past.

That is why, take the step you can take now.
Arranging support for after the parents are gone while the parents are still healthy.
That is another act of 'raising' that is an extension of love.

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May the future of your child and yourself be one of peace of mind.

• #DevelopmentalDisability
• #ASD
• #Parenting
• #AfterParentsAreGone
• #DisabilityPension
• #Therapy
• #AutismSpectrum
• #SpecialNeedsEducation
• #ForParents
• #WelfareAndMoney