🏠 Frustrations with housework and childcare are lightened by "sharing" rather than "solving" ~The attitude of active listening that warms the home~: Listen to what people say! 35

"I feel like I'm the only one doing housework again today...😮‍💨"

"The kids just won't listen to a word I say...😩"

When you hear words like these from your partner, how do you respond?

👨 "Well, why don't we buy a dishwasher?"

👩 "Wouldn't it be better to put them to bed earlier?"

Of course, there is no malice intended.

You are thinking of and offering solutions precisely because you want to help them😊

But...

What the other person really wanted might not have been an "answer," but "empathy."

😊 A home is not a "problem-solving meeting"

At work,

📊 "What is the cause?"

📈 "What is the improvement plan?" are required.

But home is a little different. Home is a place where you can safely put down your burdens.

That's why, "It was a tough day, wasn't it?"

Sometimes that one sentence is enough.

👂 Active listening means "sharing the emotions together"

For example,

👩 "Today, my child wouldn't take a nap at all..."

When you are told this, immediately

❌ "Some kids don't take naps, you know."

❌ "Why don't you let them play more in the morning?"

Instead of that, start with

✅ "That must have been tough."

✅ "You didn't even have time to rest today, did you?"

Just by having words like these, the other person feels, "They really understood me."

and feels that way✨

💬 A "cry for help" is hidden behind the frustration

Frustrations with housework and childcare are actually not anger, but often hide

😢 Exhaustion

😔 Loneliness

😣 Anxiety

😥 Trying too hard

that is often hidden.

So, instead of just listening to the surface words, let's try to imagine the feelings hidden underneath.

🌱 "Solving" can wait until later

Even in industrial counseling, we almost never give advice right away.

First, we listen thoroughly, and after the other person has calmed down,

we suggest, "Shall we think about it together? 😊"

It is the same at home. The order is

👂 Listen

❤️ Empathize

🤝 Think together if necessary

Just by following this order, conversations will change surprisingly.

☕ A "sharing" phrase you can use starting today

If your family member looks tired...

🌸 "It was really tough today, wasn't it?"

🌸 "You worked really hard."

🌸 "That must be exhausting."

🌸 "Thank you for telling me."

Even just this much will make the burden on their heart a little lighter.

🌿 Summary

There is no "correct answer" for housework or childcare.

That is precisely why, rather than searching for the right answer,

time spent sharing feelings togetheris important.

Because you are family, you tend to want to solve things.

But, "This person is trying to understand my feelings."

The moments when you can feel that way turn your home into a place of peace😊

Today, why not try not to rush for an answer, and instead become a "listener" who just accepts the other person's feelings by their side for a little while?🍀

✍️ Series Title: Listen to what people say!
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