Couples should have their own rules: The small form of happiness we found

Hello. This is Upa.

This might be sudden, but I am not good with surprises.

I appreciate the thought behind wanting to surprise me. But I never know how to react, and it just makes me feel a bit awkward.

When we first started dating, I told my husband, "I don't need any surprises." Looking back, I was such an uncharming girlfriend.

Perhaps that is why.

We didn't have a dramatic proposal or an engagement ring. "What should we do about marriage?" That was the business-like conversation that led to our decision to marry.

Furthermore, I even said, "I don't need an engagement ring. Let's use that money for our new life together," which was far from romantic.

That was how our married life began, but then came our first wedding anniversary.

My husband said, "I'm going out for a bit," hopped on a train, and came back with an ivory bag for me.

I was so happy. I was truly happy.

But at that time, I was desperate, struggling with my first month of raising our newborn daughter. On my days off, I wanted him to help me look after the baby rather than going out alone. That feeling was stronger.

Even so, we were still newlyweds. I worried about what would happen if I told him this and disappointed him... I knew full well that he had thought about wanting to do something for our first wedding anniversary. I agonized over it... Should I say it? Should I not? It kept spinning around in my head.

But our marriage and our parenting journey were going to last forever. After much hesitation, I decided to speak my honest feelings. "I'm truly happy for the gesture. But right now, parenting is tough, so what would make me happiest is if we could spend our days off together."

I felt so uncharming and hated myself for it.

But this one comment became the beginning of our household rules.

Birthdays, Christmas, and our wedding anniversary.

We combine these three celebrations that fall close together, and we choose something we both truly want that year together.

Splurging just a little bit.

Choosing something just a little bit nicer.

The things we have chosen over the years have included sneakers, watches, wallets, sunglasses, and key cases.

Every year, one more matching item is added.

It feels less like our possessions are increasing, and more like the time we've spent together is growing.

"What should we get this year?"

The time spent discussing that has also become a part of our anniversary.

As we grow older, the things we choose will likely change.

Maybe it will be stylish reading glasses.

Maybe it will be a hat to hide our gray hair.

Perhaps we'll start running and pick out matching sportswear...

Matching canes... well, that might be a bit too soon (laughs).

I don't know what the future holds. But I want us to be a couple that can laugh while choosing things that are perfect for us at that moment. I feel that is the one thing that will never change.
I don't know what the future holds. But I want us to be a couple that can laugh while choosing things that are perfect for us at that moment. I feel that is the one thing that will never change.
I don't know what the future holds. But I want us to be a couple that can laugh while choosing things that are perfect for us at that moment. I feel that is the one thing that will never change.

I'm glad I gathered the courage to speak my true feelings back then. I'm also grateful to my husband for accepting them.

Because of that conversation that day, we have now become a couple who can laugh together and ask, "What should we get this year?"

There was nothing romantic about our proposal or engagement ring, but this is our own way of expressing love, saying that we will continue to walk through life together from here on out.🐟️