A Man Living as a 'Chu-otto' (Expat Husband) in Bangkok

Once upon a time, in a village in Japan, there lived a man named Kotaro. Kotaro was a kind-hearted husband, but he struggled to find work, so his wife, Hanako, supported the household.
One day, Hanako said, "Kotaro, I've been offered a job in Bangkok. Would you mind staying home and looking after things?"
Kotaro was surprised, but wanting to support his wife, he replied, "Understood. I will become a fine 'Chu-otto' (expat husband) and back you up."
And so, Kotaro became a 'Chu-otto' who waited in Japan for his wife working far away in Bangkok.
At first, he struggled every day with unfamiliar housework. He burned the food, shrank the laundry, and couldn't keep the house clean. The villagers gossiped, saying, "It's strange for a man to be at home," and looked at Kotaro with suspicion.
But Kotaro did not give up. Every night, he talked to Hanako in Bangkok on the phone, learning cooking tips and sharing stories about their days.
As time passed, Kotaro grew into a fine 'Chu-otto.' He not only mastered housework but also began helping the village elderly and telling stories to the children, becoming beloved by the villagers.
One day, the village headman said to Kotaro, "Kotaro-dono, watching your work, I've realized that being a 'Chu-otto' is a noble job. Won't you teach the men of the village how to do housework?"
Thus, Kotaro became the teacher of the village's 'Chu-otto Training Course.' The men learned housework, and the whole village became brighter and more cooperative.
A few years later, Hanako returned to the village. The villagers celebrated the couple and said, "Even though Kotaro and Hanako were far apart, their hearts were one. And they changed the whole village."
From then on, the village became known as the "Village of Connected Hearts," and the term "Chu-otto" spread as a noble profession for supporting the one you love.
And they lived happily ever after.
That was the preface for the 876th Namunin Interview on August 31, 2024, at 10:55 AM!!!!!!!
[Preface: qbc / Yasuhiro Kuribayashi (Writer, Organizer of Namunin Interview)]

Joining us this time is Mr. Pura!

Age: Late 40s
Gender: Male
Occupation: Househusband

Current state: After working for about 20 years in society, I really didn't have much time to relax, so I think I'm happy now because that wish for time is being fulfilled.

Saaya:
Mr. Pura, what do you do now?

Mr. Pura:
I am currently a 'Chu-otto' (expat husband) in Bangkok, Thailand.

Saaya:
A yacht?

Mr. Pura:
A 'Chu-otto' is basically a househusband. It's the husband version of when the wife does it.It's called an 'expat husband' like an 'expat wife'.Yes.

Saaya:
You are an expat husband. I see. Since when have you been doing this?

Mr. Pura:
Since April 2022, so it's been about 2 years and 3 months now.

Saaya:
I see. How is it? Is that life fun?

Mr. Pura:
Well, at first I was still confused, but I've gotten quite used to it and it's becoming fun.

Saaya:
What is the flow of your day like? Could you tell me your 24 hours in chronological order?

Mr. Pura:
Let's see. In the morning,I wake up at 5:00 AM and make a bento for my child.
My child goes to a Japanese school, not a local Thai school, but a school that follows Japanese rules for Japanese people. They take a school bus, but the morning is early, so my child leaves at 6:30 AM. Since there is no school lunch, I have to provide a bento before that, so I wake up at 5:00 AM to start making it.
Once my child eats breakfast, gets ready, and leaves at 6:30 AM, that's my own time, so I relax a bit and then study Thai online from around 8:00 AM, currently.

Saaya:
You are studying Thai.

Mr. Pura:
Yes, that's right.Even living here, it's hard to pick up Thai, so I'm studying it now because I want to talk to the local people.

Saaya:
I see. How do you spend your time after that?

Mr. Pura:
Well, after doing that for about an hour or two, it's 9:00 or 10:00 AM, and I go out to hang out with people I've met here who are in similar circumstances.

Saaya:
What kind of hanging out do you do?

Mr. Pura:
It depends on the time, butI do things like my hobby of fishing, or golf, which I started after coming here. Mainly, I go fishing or golfing once a week, and on other days, I have meals or tea once or twice.

Saaya:
I see. When I hear the term 'househusband,' I get the impression that you do quite a lot of housework.

Mr. Pla:
I do handle the housework. Things like cleaning and cooking meals.
My child usually gets home from school between 3:30 and 4:00 PM, so I try to go shopping before then and then start preparing dinner from there.
I usually cook between 4:00 and 5:00 PM, and since my wife gets home around 6:00, I set the table so we can eat, and that's how it goes.

Saaya:
How old is your child?

Mr. Pla:
They are in the fifth grade of elementary school now. They are 11 years old.

Saaya:
I see. Since you've been a househusband for two years, that means your child was about nine years old then, right?

Mr. Pla:
That's right.

Saaya:
What is something fun you've done recently?

Mr. Pla:
I usually find many things fun in my daily life, so it's hard to pick just one, but my sisters came to visit me here the other day. I was able to show them around Bangkok, taking them to places a bit more obscure than what's in the guidebooks, and it's fun when they are happy about that.

Saaya:
What is your sibling structure like?

Mr. Pla:
I have four siblings, and I am the third one. It goes older brother, older sister, me, and younger sister. My older sister and younger sister came to visit me recently.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saaya:
How long have you been living in Bangkok?

Mr. Pla:
I've been in Bangkok sinceApril 2022.

Saaya:
Oh, so you came to Bangkok and started being a househusband at the same time?

Mr. Pla:
That's right. I was working normally in Japan until then.

Saaya:
I see.
What do people often say about your personality?

Mr. Pla:
Regarding my personality,people often think I'm easygoing, or perhaps that I have many friends.
I like socializing, so I hang out with a wide but shallow circle of people.

Saaya:
Do you think of yourself that way too? Regarding your own personality?

Mr. Pla:
Well, I didn't really think so before, but I am originally from Osaka in the Kansai region, and since coming here, I interact with people from the Kanto region and various other areas, right?
When I was in Osaka, I rarely left, so I didn't think anything of it, but when you look at it on a national level, people say Kansai people are friendly and talkative, so I get told that a lot.

Saya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saya:
When you were in Japan, were you in Osaka the whole time?

Mr. Pla:
Osaka, yes, that's right.

Saya:
Are there any places you like in Bangkok?

Mr. Pla:
Places I like. A place I like in Bangkok is the pond.I love fishing.
I think the time I spend fishing is quite nice. When it comes to places to fish in Bangkok, there's the sea and there are fishing ponds. The fishing ponds are really just ponds, but they are like aquaculture ponds, and since aquaculture is very popular here,when you fish in those kinds of aquaculture ponds, it becomes a world all your own.
There's no one else around, so I sometimes fish in what feels like a private pond, and I like that kind of thing.

Saya:
Oh, I see. Do you like that feeling of having a space all to yourself?

Mr. Pla:
That's right. It's not actually a space all to myself, but because there are no other anglers. Since I spend my weekends with my family, I don't go on weekends; I go on weekdays to fish.
So,there are few Thai people who come to fish on weekdays, so it's quite empty. When I go in the morning, I'm often the only one there, so I think of it as a luxurious time while I'm fishing there.

Saya:
Why do you like that space all to yourself, or that luxurious space?

Mr. Pla:
Let's see. Why do I like it?
I was working normally in Japan until two and a half years ago. I'm 47 now, and I came here when I was about 45, so I worked in Japan for over 20 years.After about 20 years of working life, I really didn't have much time to relax, so I think I'm happy now because I'm fulfilling my wish to have that kind of time.

Saya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saya:
What other times do you enjoy?

Mr. Pla:
Let's see.I quite enjoy the time I spend cooking. Among my household chores, I think cooking is my main job. I put some effort into it and decide on the menu for the week in advance.
After eating, I record what I had for dinner, like this for Monday, this for Tuesday. I've been keeping a diary of all my dinners since I came to Thailand. If I write down when and what I ate in my diary, it helps me decide on the menu for the week, like thinking, 'I haven't had this for dinner lately, so I'll make this.' It's also easier to shop when the menu is decided. I feel fulfilled when I'm cooking.
It's fun to be able to do things exactly as I aimed, and I like that.

Saya:
What do you mean by 'doing things exactly as aimed'?

Mr. Pla:
Like making it taste good, or something,like the flavor turning out just as I imagined.

Saya:
In terms of emotions, what kind of feeling is that?

Mr. Pla:
In terms of emotions, it's not so much happiness, but rather excitement. I think,cooking is a bit like crafting or making things. My past experience is put to use, and I'm getting better than before, or it's smoother than before, or it's closer to my image than before.
Before I came here, when I was in Japan, I didn't cook; my wife did it for me. But since I came here, I started doing it, and you do it seriously yourself, right?

Saya:
Yes.

Mr. Pla:
The first time, it didn't turn out as I imagined. If I made hamburger steak, I could make it, but there was a taste I imagined for the hamburger, and the dish I made was somehow different. The gap between those things has gradually closed,and now that two and a half years—two years and three or four months—have passed, it's become much closer to the taste I imagined, and that's fun.

Saaya:
What kind of comments do your family members make about the cooking process or the actual dishes you prepare?

Mr. Pla:
Well, the feedback is pretty straightforward. If it's delicious, they eat a lot and ask me to make it again. If not, they just eat quietly, which makes me think, 'I need to adjust this,' and it leads to my next bit of creative experimentation.

Saaya:
What is your favorite food?

Mr. Pla:
My favorite food? Well, there are many, and I basically like Japanese food, but since I'm in Thailand now, if I had to pick a favorite local dish, there's something like grilled catfish sold at street stalls.

Saaya:
Grilled catfish. Yes, I see.

Mr. Pla:
In Japan, you have things like sweetfish skewered and grilled over charcoal, right?

Saaya:
Yes.

Mr. Pla:
It's like that, with a catfish about 30 centimeters long skewered and sold. In Thai, it's called Pla Duk Yang.

Saaya:
Pla Duk Yang, is it?

Mr. Pla:
Yes, Pla Duk Yang. 'Pla Duk' means catfish, and 'Yang' means 'grilled.' So, grilled catfish. I've really come to love it since coming to Thailand.

Saaya:
Is there any dish in Japan that tastes similar?

Mr. Pla:
It's basically just grilled fish, (laughs).

Saaya:
Yes, (laughs).

Mr. Pla:
Grilling fish over charcoal is an amazing cooking method; it draws out the moisture just right, and the saltiness becomes delicious. Pla Duk Yang is exquisitely tasty in that same way. Catfish meat is naturally soft. It has a light, white-fish flavor, and it's delicious when eaten with natural salt or the dipping sauce they use here. Also, I'm a bit picky about fish because
my family originally ran a fish shop.

Saaya:
Oh, is that so?

Mr. Pla:
My father ran a fish shop, so I ate a lot of fish growing up. Since I was in elementary school, I was made to help out, like making grilled sea bream for New Year's, and I had to grill a lot of fish. Because of that, I really appreciate the potential of Pla Duk Yang as a grilled fish dish. It's so flavorful; it's really delicious. But many Japanese people don't eat it because they worry about hygiene since it's sold at street stalls. I highly recommend it because it's actually very tasty if you try it.

Saaya:
Do you ever make Pla Duk Yang yourself?

Mr. Pla:
I could if I wanted to, but it's a hassle to start a charcoal fire, (laughs). You can buy the fish easily, but Pla Duk Yang is very cheap in Thailand.

Saaya:
How much does it cost?

Mr. Pla:
In local currency, it's about 30 baht per fish. If you convert 1 baht to 4 yen, that's about 120 yen per fish.

Saaya:
Hmm.

Mr. Pla:
It's so cheap, and I think it would probably take a few tries to make it yourself and get the same quality, so if you buy it, you can get Pla Duk Yang of about the same level, so you don't really feel like making it yourself, right? (laughs) Oh, that reminds me of Thai food. When I first came to Thailand, I didn't have any friends,
and I had nothing to do, so I thought I'd take some lessons and went to learn Thai cooking.
For about a year, I went to learn Thai cooking once a week, and I kept at it for a year until I got a certificate in Thai cooking.

Saaya:
Oh, that's amazing.

Mr. Pla:
So, my knowledge of Thai food has deepened quite a bit, and for Thai dishes that you can only really eat at restaurants, I do think about trying to make them myself, and I have been making them.

Saaya:
I see. Is it common for you to have that kind of attitude when you take on something, like really delving into cooking or deciding on a menu, as you've done with other things in the past?

Mr. Pla:
No, I don't think that's the case.I'm quite prone to getting bored, so I probably do a wide variety of things, but perhaps because my family ran a fish shop, I had a bit of a particular focus when it came to food specifically.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
And then, you know, I have time. So,since I was given the role of the family member who prepares the food, I think I'm putting effort into it in my own way because I want to do it this way.

Saaya:
You've been a house husband for two years now, and you mentioned that your life has changed significantly since before that. Why have you been able to continue this lifestyle for two years?

Mr. Pla:
Why? That's difficult. Why? The biggest thing is that my wife has been working abroad, which is a big deal.

When I came abroad, I came on a dependent visa, so due to visa regulations, I can't work here. So, with that premise, I don't work, and being a house husband—where housework is my job—has become the main thing.When I was in Japan, we were both working hard, so I didn't really have that image, but here, because of the visa, of course, if I found a job and switched from a dependent visa to a work visa, I could work, but
it's a big factor that my wife has created a situation where I don't have to push myself to work. The situation allows it, so I'm living the life I am now.

Saaya:
So there's also that background in terms of the system.

Mr. Pla:
That's right, yes.

Past: I've become much stronger in the feeling of wanting to know things because I don't know them, regarding people's ways of thinking and feelings.

Saaya:
I'd like to move on to questions about the past. What kind of child were you?

Mr. Pla:
As a child, I was basically an unusual kid who lacked cooperativeness.
I was very much at my own pace, only wanting to do what I wanted to do, and since I liked living creatures, I was a kid who really loved going to catch things like crayfish and rhinoceros beetles.

Saaya:
What kind of image do you have specifically when you say you lacked cooperativeness?

Mr. Pla:
When I was a child, I didn't think I lacked cooperativeness, but my job after becoming an adult was as a cram school teacher. I was a cram school teacher for about 20 years and saw many different children, and at a glance, many Japanese children are cooperative and act together as a group.
But there are always kids who fall out of the circle, right? Seeing that, I often thought, 'That's the old me.'So I do think that I really lacked cooperativeness.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
I guess you could call it peer pressure—the feeling that because everyone else is doing this, I have to do this too—that feeling is thin, or rather, weak in me. Everyone else was doing the same thing, but I was like, 'I want to do this now, so I'm going to do this,' and that's how I went about things, yes.

Saaya:
Were you quite clear about what you wanted to do, even back then?

Mr. Pla:
That's right. I really love living things, so whenever I found a puddle, I would always look into it to see if there were any bugs or fish. I still do that sometimes, and my wife often warns me about it (laughs).

Saaya:
I see. Was there anything you put a lot of effort into during elementary or junior high school?

Mr. Pla:
Anything I put effort into? No, I don't really remember anything in particular. I think I was interested in raising living things and things like that, but if you ask me if I put effort into it, well, since I was a kid, I was basically fickle, so I often forgot to feed them and stuff. So, I was just living life in a very casual way.

Saaya:
I see. What did you do after school?

Mr. Pla:
I think I just played the whole time after school. I don't have any memories of doing homework or anything like that. In elementary school, when I got home from school, I would go to my friends' houses to play, play baseball in a nearby park, or go catch living things. When I got to junior high, I joined the swimming club, so I worked hard at swimming in the summer. But the swimming club didn't have much activity from autumn to winter, and once it turned into land training, it would end very quickly. So, when it was over, I would go to my friends' houses to play games and things like that.

Saaya:
I see. After you quit swimming and such, what kind of life did you lead? Was there anything you put effort into?

Mr. Pla:
As for things I put effort into,after I became a high school student, I started going to a karate dojo, and I went there for three years.

Saaya:
Was it a dojo instead of a school club?

Mr. Pla:
That's right, it wasn't a school club. There was a place doing karate near my house, and I thought, 'Oh, I'll do karate.' Actually, I wanted to do boxing, but there was no boxing gym near my house, and I didn't know where to go. Since there was a dojo within walking distance from my house, I started learning karate.

Saaya:
I think boxing was the trigger, but why did you want to start that?

Mr. Pla:
Well, maybe it was the influence of manga. I liked manga about martial arts, like 'Ashita no Joe' and things like that.It was more like I started it because I admired strength.
When I became a university student, I stopped going to karate and quit. But,I just recently came to Thailand and this is my third year, so in the first year I did Thai cooking, and in the second year I decided to start YouTube, so I put effort into YouTube. By the time I reached my third year, I got a bit bored with YouTube and things, so I decided to do something different and started Muay Thai.
That karate from high school is connected, and I've been going to a Muay Thai gym once a week since around June this year.
If someone asks, 'What have you been doing in Thailand?', I thought it would be better to have something to answer with, so I'm doing it now thinking that saying 'I was learning Muay Thai' would be a good story.

Saaya:
Now that you've told me that, looking back on the past, is there anything you think about what you've done?

Mr. Pla:
No, not really. I have this desire to do what I feel like doing at that moment, and I prioritize that quite a bit, so I don't think there's any consistency.

Saaya:
Oh, is that so?

Mr. Pla:
That's right. Even in elementary, junior high, and high school, there wasn't anything I really did because I wanted to do it. But sometimes I find myself thinking I want to do it again.

Saaya:
How were you raised by your family?

Mr. Pla:
From my family, from my parents, well,I'm the third of four siblings, so I'm not the youngest, and I don't have the image of being fussed over that much. But since there are two older ones, I feel like I managed things efficiently while watching the two above me.
I think I was able to make good choices, like 'I'll get scolded if I do this, so I'll stop,' or 'It's better to do this.'

Saaya:
What is your position among your siblings?

Mr. Pla:
Position? Well,I think I was relatively serious.It's strange for me to say it myself, but I think I was the most filial.

Saaya:
Is that so?

Mr. Pla:
I was one of four siblings, and since my family ran a fish shop, I took the initiative to help out with various household chores. From about the fifth or sixth grade of elementary school, I started helping clean up the fish shop. I did that cleanup from about 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM, Monday through Saturday, and I kept doing it until I graduated from high school.

Saaya:
I see. Why did you take the initiative to do that when your other siblings weren't?

Mr. Pla:
Well, no one else around me was doing it, so I felt sorry for my mother and did it.
Running a business is hard work, after all. And since it was a self-employed business and they didn't hire many people, there was so much that needed to be done that it wouldn't get finished if only one or two people were working on it.
If my parents were working late into the night, I would feel bad for them, wouldn't I? That's why I would help out.

Saaya:
You mentioned earlier that you were a child who lacked cooperativeness, but I get an impression that is a bit different from that.

Mr. Pla:
That's true. But it wasn't like I did it because I wanted to be cooperative;I just wanted to help my parents or someone I knew because they were close to me. So, it wasn't about cooperation or a desire to conform to a large group of people at all. It's not like I'm indifferent to people, either.
I suppose what I wanted to do was just help my parents.

Saaya:
Do you also feel the urge to "take the initiative to help" in other situations where people are in trouble?

Mr. Pla:
I do have that. It's vague, but while I don't have the urge to help everyone, if someone I know is in trouble, I want to help them, and I have a very strong desire to help if I can be of assistance.

Saaya:
Why do you think you feel that way?

Mr. Pla:
Well, I don't know why, but looking back,I was interested in things like morals and ethics.
Because I lacked the cooperativeness I mentioned earlier, by the time I was in junior high, people around me would often say things to me.They'd say, "You have no principles," or "You have no common sense." When I asked my friends, "What is common sense? I don't live by the common sense you have, so what is that common sense?" they would just say, "Common sense is common sense," and wouldn't explain it in terms that needed explaining.It felt like that, so I started thinking to myself, "What is common sense?" and"What are these morals that exist outside of laws—these moral values that you're supposed to follow?"I started thinking about that around junior high. Since it didn't feel like it was something I was born with, I ended upreading moral textbooks and books called philosophy books. By the time I was in high school, I enjoyed reading those things.I spent a year as a ronin studying for university entrance exams, and at that time,
there was a subject called Ethics that I hadn't learned in high school. Since I had that year as a ronin, I studied it hard by reading the ethics textbook on my own.I studied it.
Acting like that made me want to deepen my knowledge of ethics in the future, so I decided to go to the philosophy department in university. I applied to universities with philosophy majors, and my desire to "know because I don't know" regarding people's ways of thinking and feelings became stronger.

Saaya:
Oh, I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saaya:
How was it, actually studying philosophy at university?

Mr. Pla:
Well, once I got there, I think I wanted to study something closer to ethics, but the genre of philosophy includes ethics, religious studies, philosophy, and various other things.I ended up studying what you'd call "hardcore philosophy," like "thinking about the reason for one's own existence." While I thought, "This is completely different from what I imagined," I enjoyed it because I liked repeatedly doing things that I wouldn't normally do in daily life.

Saaya:
I see. In your current life, are there any ideas you frequently recall or that serve as a basis for your judgments? Things you learned in philosophy?

Mr. Pla:
Yes. Since I was able to study the various ideas of many predecessors and philosophers there,I think my ability to be conscious of the self and what makes an individual has become stronger. Things like my own personality or way of thinking.
Coming to Bangkok, there are various things I'm categorized by—my identity, being Japanese, being a man, being in my 40s, and so on.I'm not working within that, so I'm falling out of various categories.
I'm becoming a minority existence rather than the major category I thought I belonged to, but that was very helpful in accepting being a minority.

Saaya:I think that means accepting that you are no longer in the majority, but did you have any conflicts?

Mr. Pla:
Yes, I probably did at first.
Coming to Thailand, I'd make bento boxes in the morning, and my family members—the children go to school, my wife goes to work—they are all entering new societies or groups, right?
But I wasn't in any group; I was just at home, and I didn't have any friends in Thailand. I think humans have a desire to belong to some group, so I think I had various conflicts in trying to fill that void.

Saaya:
Hmm. Specifically, how did you fill that void?

Mr. Pla:
Well, I took Thai cooking classes as a hobby, and at that time, not online, but once or twice a week,I went to Thai language classes, seeking connections with people, and I went outside.
Also, once a week, I started attending a Protestant church in Thailand. My university was a Buddhist university, so I didn't intend to attend, but an acquaintance happened to go there, and when they said, "If you're free, why don't you come? Come on over," I started going every week. Eventually, I found my place, got baptized, and now I am a Christian.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pura:
There were some changes in my own state of mind, and I noticed a lot of things.

Saaya:
I see. That's how it is.

Mr. Pura:
Yes.

Saaya:
We will move on to the questions about the future, but is there anything else you would like to talk about regarding the past?

Mr. Pura:
Regarding the past,I used to work at a cram school. I was a very active teacher, and since I'm the type of person who leans towards things children like, I was quite popular and well-liked by the kids.
The school I worked at was in the Kansai region, and it used a one-on-one tutoring format, with one teacher for every one or two students.
In that field of individual tutoring,I was able to attract the highest number of students in that company.

Saaya:
So you mean you were popular?

Mr. Pura:
That's right. It wasn't just my own effort; I was blessed with good colleagues. While the average for a single classroom was about 60 to 70 students,I managed to gather about 260 students.
And that record probably hasn't been broken yet. I think I can be a little proud of the fact that I hold the highest score there.

Saaya:
What kind of things were you particular about when you were working?

Mr. Pura:
I also went to cram schools when I was in junior high, and students who come to cram schoolwant to be paid attention to by the teacher.
I think any child wants to talk to the teacher, even if it's just a word or two, and if they go home without talking to the teacher, they might feel like they missed out, or at least feel like it wasn't very fun.
So, I made a real effort to notice even the smallest differences or changes in the child compared to the previous week, and to bring that up as a topic of conversation.

Saaya:
I see. If you were to divide your life into several chapters, where would the breaks be?

Mr. Pura:
Breaks?

Saaya:
Yes, for example, if you were to divide it into three chapters, I think there would be two breaks.

Mr. Pura:
One break is when I became a salaryman, a working adult, and the second break is when I came here to Bangkok.

Saaya:
Why does the break come at the point of becoming a salaryman? What is the intention behind that?

Mr. Pura:
I feel like I started moving in a different vector than the extension of my past.That's the feeling I have.

Saaya:
What kind of vector was it before that?

Mr. Pura:
Academic life itself has school standards, doesn't it?University has university standards, high school has high school standards. I competed for scores in a world based on those standards, but
once I became a salaryman, I lived by company standards, and since coming to Bangkok, I'm living by my own standards rather than someone else's, or rather, living according to my own state of mind. That's how it feels.

Saaya:
I understand.

Future:Doing new things makes me very anxious, but I also feel like there are many things that only I can do, so I have a desire to dive in.

Saaya:
I would like to ask you questions about the future now. If you imagine 5 or 10 years from now, or even until the end of your life, what kind of image do you have for the future?

Mr. Pura:
Well, let's see. Regarding the future, although I am currently overseas, in the future, I would like to return to Japan and open my own cram school. Cram schools tend to exist as entities that support the school system, and while that is certainly one aspect of being a cram school, I would rather like to create a school that fosters the ability to live, one that helps children develop their individuality and strengthens their life skills.

Saaya:
I see. Where did that idea come from?

Mr. Pura:
What I think after watching children at cram schools for a long time is that I want to acknowledge their individuality. Among children, they are often divided into 'major' and 'minor' groups based on how much attention they receive. While I want to pay attention to the 'major' kids, most cram school teachers gravitate toward them, so I want to create a school that focuses on the marginalized or minority children who don't get much attention. That is my desire.
Perhaps 'I was a minority when I was a child, and I wanted more attention' is a feeling I have, so I always keep those feelings from back then inside me, and I want to be an adult who can help them sublimate those feelings—a supportive adult who can help them process things that are difficult for children to sublimate on their own.

Saaya:
If you were able to run a school that provides that kind of support, how do you think you would feel?

Mr. Pura:
Well, for me, if that child is happy, I think I would feel a sense of happy satisfaction within myself.
Having watched children for a long time, I have more insight into them than others, and I've become quite good at understanding what a child might be feeling at any given moment, so I want to create an environment that values the feelings of various children, and by doing so, I would feel happy myself.

Saaya:
I see. Aside from the cram school, do you have any image of your future, even if it's vague?

Mr. Pura:
It's not clear yet, but if my wife's work continues to be overseas, I would like to go with my family to a completely different country where we have no ties, adapt there, and make new discoveries.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pura:
Yes.

Saaya:
Do you enjoy those kinds of experiences?

Mr. Pura:
Yes. Doing new things is very nerve-wracking, but I also feel that there are many things only I can do, so I have a desire to dive in.

Saaya:
I see. How do you resolve anxiety when you're in those situations?

Mr. Pura:
Honestly, I don't think you can fundamentally resolve anxiety; I think it's just a matter of how things turn out when you're in that situation. There are only two outcomes: it goes well or it fails.
But since things rarely go well from the start, I think it's fine to fail. Even if I fail, I don't just leave it at that; I just need to keep going until I get better. It's the mindset that if I repeat it enough times, I'll be able to do it.
This is probably from my experience at the cram school, but while some children can solve a problem on the first try, others can't, but they can do it on the second or third try. Even if they still can't, they might be able to do it after 25 or 30 tries. My empirical rule is that if you repeat it enough times, you'll succeed, so I intend to keep going without giving up. And anxiety, rather than the fear of failure, is more like the excitement of doing something for the first time.
That is what I feel, but I want to enjoy it.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pura:
Yes. As you get older, the things that make your heart race or excite you tend to decrease, and you end up just doing things as an extension of the past due to being in a rut. So, I want to make sure I don't forget the spirit of taking on challenges I've never done before.
I just remembered that there was a poem a teacher I liked in high school gave me when I graduated. It's 'Youth' by Samuel Ullman, and I think that connects to the feeling I mentioned earlier about challenging myself with new things.

Saaya:
'Youth' by Samuel Ullman.

Mr. Pura:
I think that's it.

Saaya:
Now, for a hypothetical future question: if you hadn't had the chance to come to Thailand and had continued your life as a salaryman in Japan, what do you think your life would be like now?

Mr. Pura:
Well. I think I would have quit the company and started my own cram school. I think I would be independent.

Saaya:
I see. That doesn't change from what you see in your future.

Mr. Pla:
Well, I think I will probably be doing what I want to do, even if the timing might shift—whether I do it at 40, 50, or 60.

Saaya:
I see. Do you think there would be any difference in how you feel, depending on that timing?

Mr. Pla:
If I start after I'm older, I'll have had more experiences by then, so I feel more strongly that it will go well.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
I have no basis for that, though.

Saaya:
Right. Does having experience make you feel more confident?

Mr. Pla:
Yes. In my own mind, when comparing things I've done before to things I haven't, it's not just about the anxiety I mentioned earlier, but I think the feeling that
I might fail increases when it's something I haven't done. However, if I've lived a long time and had a fair amount of experience, I think that by having new experiences rather than repeating the same ones, and by failing a lot early on, things will go well afterward.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saaya:
Is there anything in your life that you feel you 'must do before you die'?

Mr. Pla:
Well, basically, nothing at all.I'm trying to give my all to what I want to do right now.
I want to live without regrets, and since I'm doing only what I love right now and my wife and children are allowing me to do so, I'm grateful.

Saaya:
When you have many things you want to do, how do you set your priorities?

Mr. Pla:
Well, I think a lot about whether something can be covered by someone else or if it's something only I can do. Even when deciding what to do about work, although the company said they didn't want me to quit and wanted me to stay, I prioritized my family.There is someone who can replace me at the company, but there is no one who can replace me in my family. I want to prioritize doing things that only I can do.

Saaya:
I see.

Mr. Pla:
Yes.

Saaya:
We're almost out of time, but lastly, for the readers or just your own thoughts, is there anything you've left unsaid or anything you'd like to say?

Mr. Pla:
Well, this might be cliché, but this is my first interview, and it's rare to have someone listen to my story for a whole hour, so I'd like to recommend this to others.
Even things I wasn't conscious of, when asked in an interview, I think about them consciously, and they turn into words; I think that's amazing.
I felt like it's something worth doing even if you have to pay for it.

Saaya:
Really? Thank you. What kind of things did you think about?

Mr. Pla:
My childhood, elementary school, junior high school—I have fewer opportunities to recall those deeply in my daily life, but by having you ask about them, I was able to dig them up.
Also, when you asked me earlier about what I want to do for my children or how I feel at those times, I thought about why I want to run a tutoring school, and I was able to put it into words again, which made me feel like my determination and mindset were renewed.

Saaya:
Do you not often have opportunities to talk about your own thoughts, such as wanting to run a tutoring school like this?

Mr. Pura:
It's gone, isn't it? I don't really talk to others about cram schools, after all. So, since those (opportunities) have decreased, this was a really great chance. Thank you very much.

Saaya:
I'm glad to hear that. Thank you.

Afterword

When I conduct interviews, I often feel moved, thinking about how there are such interesting people out there, or how there are people who think about things like this. At the same time, I sometimes think that the people I passed on the street today, the person sitting next to me on the train, or the staff at the restaurant I went to for lunch might actually be incredibly interesting if I just talked to them. I wonder if the world is actually overflowing with "interesting" things, and if it's me who is just overlooking them. Today's interview was consistently interesting, like a never-ending string of flags in a magic show. Thank you very much!

I am Meadow, a university student in Kyoto who works part-time at a private tutoring school. This snappy Kansai-dialect interview was very rewarding to edit. This time was a personal favorite for me. Especially the talk about minorities and the feeling of being a working professional in Japan. I, too, struggle every day while sandwiched between two students at the cram school. Still, that was a legendary episode. Someday, I'd like to walk along the Philosopher's Path and discuss ideal education. Wow, I'm looking forward to what's next. Thank you for the wonderful interview!

[Interview, Editing, Afterword: Saaya]

[Editing: meadow]

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