A School Trip Changed to Positive Language

After a school observation day at elementary school, there is a parent-teacher meeting.

Originally, it is a meeting led by the parents, but it is often difficult to get topics started.
When the classroom goes quiet, the teacher sometimes tries to bring up a topic.

One mother said,
"It's great that my child always helps out, but they only ever make mistakes."
She shared this story.

Just recently, her child was trying to carry a glass of water to the table, and she said,
"Don't spill it."
The moment she said it, the child spilled it, and she ended up scolding them, saying,

"Look, what are you doing? Mom just told you, didn't she?"
Hearing that story, and since I had just been reading a book about "negative and positive language," I brought up that topic.

I said to the mothers,
"Now, please do not think of a pink elephant."
The mothers seemed to have imagined a "pink elephant."

According to the book, it seems that when humans are told in negative language "do not think of something," they end up thinking of it anyway.


When told the negative command "don't spill it," a child's brain apparently first creates an image of spilling and being scolded.
Since a child's body tries to move according to the image in their brain, they end up moving toward the failure of "spilling."

It was exactly as the mother had described.

It seems the brain cannot understand negative language.
Therefore, if she had changed it from the negative "don't spill it" to the positive "carry it slowly and carefully," the child might have succeeded.
I cannot blame this mother.

We adults have also been disciplined with negative language by our parents and teachers since we were children.

I have been a homeroom teacher for sixth graders many times.
I have also chaperoned school trips many times.

That year, I was preparing the school trip guidebook.

The "rules for living" are similar every year.

When I looked at the "school trip guidebook" I made last year, I was surprised at how much negative language there was.
For example,

Do not make noise on the bus.
Do not run in the bathhouse.
Do not run in the inn's hallways.
Do not be late for meeting times.

So, I decided to change everything into positive language.

Let's be quiet on the bus for safe driving.
Let's walk slowly in the bathhouse and hallways.
Let's have fun with our group activities with plenty of time to spare.

And on the day.
In previous years, various things happened on elementary school trips, but that year, no problems occurred.

Or rather, it was a more calm and pleasant school trip than usual.

This method could also be applied to "summer vacation rules" or "how to spend winter vacation."

Now, I have a three-year-old grandchild at home.

They like to carry a cup of barley tea on a tray with both hands.

Of course, when I speak to them, I say,
"Carry it carefully."
So far, it has a 100% success rate.

After that, when they were eating cookies, my wife accidentally said,
"Don't spill the crumbs."
My wife ended up on all fours, wiping under the table with a rag.