Thinking about human relationships through Toy Story 5

People cannot stay at the same distance forever

I watched Toy Story 5 the other day.

If I were a child, I think I would have just enjoyed the toys' adventures.

But now that I'm a middle-aged man, I found myself noticing different things.

The distance between companions.
Changes in roles.
The desire to be needed by someone.
The anxiety of not wanting to be left behind.

Even though it's a story about toys, it's remarkably human.

While watching the movie, I was thinking about my workplace, my family, and old friends.

Human relationships cannot stay in the same form forever.

People I used to talk to every day, I somehow stop contacting before I know it.

A junior colleague who used to rely on me becomes able to make their own decisions.

A child who used to call me "Daddy" for everything gradually becomes able to do things on their own.

Even though these are supposed to be good changes, it's a little lonely.

Humans are troublesome.

I get tired when I'm relied on too much, but I feel lonely when I'm no longer relied on.

I feel suffocated when we are too close, but I feel anxious when we drift apart.

I have always been bad at dealing with these changes in distance.

Their reply is a little slow.

They don't talk to me as much as before.

They are consulting with someone else.

Just because of that,

"Did they start to dislike me?"
"Am I not needed anymore?"

I find myself thinking things like that on my own.

Without asking the other person anything, I just let the story play out in my own head.

And to avoid getting hurt, I distance myself first.

Looking back now, I was quite a difficult person.

But I think that's often how human relationships get complicated.

They might look angry, but they're actually lonely.

They might look cold, but they're actually afraid of getting hurt.

Saying "It's fine, whatever," while it's not fine at all.

I have memories of doing that too.

In the field of nursing care, relationships change as well.

When I was a newcomer, I was afraid of my seniors.

I didn't even know what to ask, and I felt nervous just trying to speak to them.

But as I learned the job little by little, the relationship changed.

I went from being the one who was taught to the one being consulted.

And now, I'm the one struggling with the distance between me and my juniors.

How much should I teach?
How much should I entrust to them?
How much should I get involved?

It shouldn't be too close.
It shouldn't be too far.

There probably isn't a perfect distance between people.

We just have to keep adjusting it little by little, depending on the situation.

That is why I think the important thing is not to keep protecting the same relationship as in the past.

If the other person changes, change how you interact with them.

If your own role changes, rethink the distance between you.

Do not think that not being able to stay the same as before is a betrayal.

This is the difficult part.

We cannot talk like we used to.

I am not relied upon as much as before.

The time we spend together has decreased.

When that happens, it can feel like the relationship has ended.

But, a change in distance is not the same as becoming unimportant.

There are people who are important to you even if you do not see them every day.

There are relationships that remain in your heart even if you do not talk as much as before.

Even if a role ends, the time you spent together does not disappear.

Watching Toy Story makes me think about things like that.

Being by someone's side forever is not the only way to be a friend.

Being number one forever is not the only kind of bond.

Even if you can no longer be in the same place, there are things that remain.

I have failed many times in human relationships until now.

I thought they would understand without me saying anything.

I assumed how the other person felt on my own.

I felt lonely, but I pretended to be fine.

I said things I shouldn't have, and swallowed the words I should have spoken.

It's like a showcase of people who are bad at human relationships.

That's why I think it's better to put things into words a little more now.

Thank you.
That helped.
How have you been lately?
Let's talk again.

That much is enough.

People don't sense our feelings as much as we think they do.

And we don't know how they feel, either.

So, even if it's clumsy, I put it into words.

There are relationships that can be saved just by doing that.

Of course, there are relationships that end even if you put them into words.

There are relationships that can never go back to how they were.

But that doesn't mean the time spent together was meaningless.

Human relationships probably have seasons.

There are times when we are close.

There are times when we drift apart a little.

There are times when our paths cross again.

And sometimes, they never return to how they were.

Even so, the time we spent together remains.

Watching Toy Story 5, that's what I thought about.

People cannot stay at the same distance forever.

But changing does not mean it is the end.

Rather than trying to keep someone close to you, it is about accepting the person as they change.

And then, re-engaging with them at that new distance.

Perhaps that is what it means to maintain a human relationship.

I ended up thinking about some quite serious things after watching a movie about toys.

Though, I was just eating popcorn at the movie theater.

Experience becomes hope for someone else.

Thank you to everyone who read this.
Please come back again.

Yamany