What a 40-something who couldn't stick to exercise gave up first

Honestly, isn't life just exhausting?

There's just way too much going on...

Work stuff.
Family stuff.
The kids' future and money stuff.

When things don't go well, they pile up,
thinking,
worrying,
trying, and failing.

In the end, comparing myself to others,
feeling disillusioned with myself,
drinking too much alcohol to relieve stress,
and regretting it all over again.

For a while, this has been a constant cycle.

“I want to change my life.”
“I want to increase my income.”

Even when I think that,
my situation doesn't change immediately,
and the feeling of impatience just kept growing.

In the midst of that,
I happened to find that the suit I was going to wear to my niece's wedding
didn't fit anymore, so

I thought, I need to lose some weight...
and that was the trigger
to start simple walking.

It's not every day.
The distance and time vary.

The clothes I walk in vary too.
My sneakers and shoes vary as well.

Then, somehow,
the quality of my work got a little better,

my mind felt more organized,
and the days where I could see “what to do next”
more clearly than before started to increase.

What I realized was that,
rather than the results or achievements themselves,
actions that prepare my condition
were more important to me.

That moment when I moved my body comfortably.
It doesn't have to be a feeling of having accomplished something,

but a feeling of being able to say, “Today was a little better.”
In life,

there are many events and stresses.
So,

it's okay to have days when you have motivation,
and days when you can barely move.
Even if you don't do the amount you decided you could,

it's okay for it to be different every time.
And yet,

the fact that I kept blaming myself, saying “I'm no good because I can't keep it up,”
might have been the most exhausting part.
The reason I couldn't keep it up
wasn't because of a weak will.

First, let go of the self that worries about not being able to keep it up.
That was

the first step for me.
So, today too,

if I have time, I'll try walking.

This is just a short article,
but if it reaches someone and they can relate to it even a little,
I would be happy.

Have a good day.

#40s
#40somethingguy
#lifeisexhausting
#thingsnotgoingwell
#workworries
#futureanxiety
#familylife
#mentalwellbeing
#exercisehabit
#walking
#casualexercise
#forthosewhocantsticktoit
#quitter
#weakwill
#dontblameyourself
#lifesize
#alcohollover
#lifelog
#note-beginner
#happyifitresonates