Shedding the 'Unconscious'. Thoughts after talking with a doctor

Why do women blame themselves?, that has always been a concern of mine regarding how women work. So, I invited a local family doctor to come on Stand.fm and share her thoughts.

She is an internist who values her connections with the local community. When asked, she says that she frequently receives consultations that fall somewhere between internal medicine and psychosomatic medicine. She must be someone the local people rely on. Of course, she has many fans on Stand.fm as well. I am one of them.

The unconscious drives people

That local family doctor believes that the unconscious can harm one's health. She often talks about this in her audio broadcasts. This is because she has come to think that the unconscious has a significant impact on people during medical examinations.

The unconscious is not something you feel, but when you dig deeper, you find certain assumptions within yourself, and she says that this is the cause of certain behaviors that won't stop, leading to health problems.

When you dig into that, words spoken by parents when you were small, words used in education, and Japanese values emerge. Among such words, she says that the imprint of you must do your best is particularly common.

She says that as a result, the sympathetic nervous system remains tense for too long, which can eventually lead to various symptoms.

The unconscious is created

local family doctor feels that this unconscious is most heavily influenced by words repeated within the home, starting with one's parents.

She feels that the unconscious is created within the home.

Parents are the ones you are in contact with every day. She says there are too many words that parents repeat, thinking they are doing what is best.

Even so, the patterns differ from person to person, and some people are affected by such repetition while others are not.

Moreover, she says there are even opposite patterns to this unconscious. For example, money. Some families believe you cannot earn money unless you work hard, while others believe that since people bring money, you should value connections and gratitude. If you hear such ways of thinking repeatedly, those values are imprinted on you. Even if they seem the same, the words repeated differ from house to house, she says.

I think this is a profound story. All those excessive words. If they are imprinted at home, then working moms who get married and start raising children will have to confront both their own unconscious and the unconscious imprinted by their husbands. It would be fine if they were the same, but it's troublesome if they are different. It's truly troublesome because it's invisible. That's what I thought.

What is 'right' in society

South Korea is said to have the lowest birth rate in the world. In Japan, too, the issue of the declining birth rate is urgent. What these two countries have in common is Confucianism.

In my 30s, I got to know many Korean women in a foreign land, and I was surprised that Confucianism had permeated Korea, a country with a large Christian population. It is a teaching that respects parents and elders, and that women should respect men. In this way of thinking, the power balance never shifts. It is truly political. There was a time when this was also used in Japanese education. That is why there are still many people in Japan who think in the same way as in Korea.

We live in an era where women are also told to do their best. As my local family doctor says, in Japanese households, the phrase you must do your best is repeatedly directed at children.

However, both in Korea and Japan, the teaching remains that women must serve their elders and men. The phrase don't stand out too much is ingrained in them.

Yes, even as times change, like the flow of a river, the same words are repeatedly used within the home.

That is why I believe many women are suffering.

How to shed the unconscious

My local family doctor says there is a way to let go of that unconsciousness. Not by denying it, but by letting it go.

However, he does not say to let go of all of it. He says you should keep what you need to live comfortably and let go of the rest (I have not touched on the method here. If you are interested, please refer to the URL below for the local family doctor).

This is because people feel that letting go of everything at once is scary. Therefore, he says you cannot let go of everything, and there is no need to.

As a good approach, he suggests looking at someone you think is living easily and letting go of as much of your excessive unconsciousness as that person has.

In addition to that, it is important to balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves, in other words, the autonomic nervous system, and what must not be forgotten is that it is also very important to be healed and to relax in a laid-back and carefree way. This might be easily overlooked, but the doctor says that if such a balance in life is not maintained, people will suffer.

Conclusion

Listening to him, I was deeply impressed by his statement that the conscious part is the largest in a person's life.

We usually focus only on what is visible. However, some people live their lives trapped to the point of illness by words that have been repeatedly ingrained in them since childhood.

Women, please do your best too is what we are told in this era, yet the phrase don't stand out too much still envelops our lives.

When you feel quiet anger, experience a sense of disappointment, or are troubled by a sense of emptiness, it may actually be that your unconscious words are denying your inner voice. The words repeatedly spoken by parents bind us that much.

However, there is a way to escape from that. If you are finding it painful to live, I want you to question your unconscious.

*Click here for the local family doctor's Stand.fm.

*Thank you for reading until the end.

*I also talk about this on Stand.fm.