What would you do? 3 ways living with parents-in-law helped me!

Good evening everyone, this is umi.

The topic of living with parents-in-law has come up! What would you do?

Living with a parent generation whose lifestyle is completely different is a big deal, isn't it? It's only natural to worry. I've even heard stories of people coming to hate their in-laws because of it.

In my case, I think living together was a good thing.
Though, the personalities of my in-laws, my own personality, and my ex-husband's personality all had a lot to do with it.

So today, I'd like to introduce"3 ways living together helped me."Oh! Of course, there were things I didn't like too.That's for another day😁

Marriage to my ex-husband = living together was a prerequisite!

One day, about two years before we got married, my ex-husband, who was still my boyfriend at the time, said,
"My mom asked, 'Is this wallpaper for the kitchen okay? Could you ask umi?'"
"…………………Huh?"

Wait... I knew my in-laws were building a two-family house. Yeah.

But, but, you haven't officially proposed to me yet, have you?

I mean, we had been dating for 5 years, and we had talked about getting married, so we both assumed we would. Could this be a roundabout proposal? I have no idea!

And what does it mean to be asked by name by my mother-in-law? Does it mean she accepts me as a daughter-in-law? Or does she just want to know the preferences of the younger generation? I really don't know how to interpret this~.

My head was spinning like this (lol).
In the end, I got divorced without ever solving the mystery of why my mother-in-law asked me. The proposal came officially after that.

Living arrangement

It was a completely separate two-family house, so the kitchen, bathroom, and toilet were all separate. The only thing we shared was the entrance.

A detached house in Tokyo
1st floor -> Office and garage, in-laws' bath
2nd floor -> Living space for in-laws + sister-in-law
3rd floor -> Our living space
2LDK + balcony (can be converted into a room in the future)
+ veranda

3 ways living together helped me

1. It helped financially

• Rent
  I was giving my in-laws 50,000 yen a month.
  If you were to rent a place with the same layout in that area, it would cost over 150,000 yen. That's a difference of 100,000 yen!
  

• Utilities
  The 1st floor was an office, so it was separate, but the 2nd and 3rd floors shared a meter.
  Our utility costs = monthly amount ÷ 5 people × 2 (people's share).
  And after the children were born, the number of people didn't increase, and they told us we didn't have to pay!😆
  

• Homecoming expenses
  Since we lived on the 2nd floor, the cost to visit home was zero😝, well, that's obvious, yes.

2. We could raise our children with many hands

Being alone with a baby is a happy thing, but it's also hard work. At times like that, having a place where I could leave them with peace of mind was very reassuring. I'm grateful that this is why I didn't get postpartum depression.

• We could go out as a couple
  "It's okay to leave your eldest son with us once in a while and go out together."
  After I gave birth to my eldest son, my mother-in-law said this to me.
  Taking her up on her offer, we were able to eat out as a couple and go out for drinks with friends, which helped us relieve stress.
  

• I can take my time with baths and meals.
  Wash the kids → call my mother-in-law, and the kids get out of the bath.
  → Then I can take a relaxing bath.
  

• When my eldest son had a regression, I could make time for just the two of us.
  I could leave my newborn eldest daughter upstairs and spend plenty of time with my eldest son.

And so on—the list of examples is endless.

3. Peace of mind during emergencies

In March of my eldest son's final year of kindergarten, the Great East Japan Earthquake occurred.
There wasn't major damage where I lived, but the frequency and intensity of the earthquakes were unlike anything I had ever experienced.

"I must protect the children at all costs."
I remember feeling relieved that it wasn't just my husband and me thinking that, but that my in-laws and sister-in-law were there with us.

Also, I suffer from migraines and would sometimes be bedridden.
At those times, my mother-in-law would take care of the children, prepare meals for my ex-husband, and even prepare meals for me.

Extra: Being praised almost 100% of the time

Whenever I tell people I live with my in-laws, I am almost always praised😁
Even someone like me, who is completely dependent on them.
My aunt, in particular, knew that my mother had struggled with living with her in-laws, so she would shower me with praise every time we met.
Though I think it was actually my mother-in-law who had it tough.
Hmm, I was getting the better end of the deal😆

There are many other ways I've been helped, but I've listed the three biggest ones. I hope this is helpful for those currently struggling with living with in-laws.

And next time, I plan to write about 3 things that were difficult about living with in-laws.

Thank you for reading this far today as well😊
Please be sure to take care against heatstroke!

🗺️Site Map👇️