[Optimization] Recommendations for Working Moms and Google Keep (Part 2): Applying it to Task Sharing and Family Meetings

In my previous article, I introduced the benefits of taking notes and how to use Google Keep for note-taking.

This time, I will introduce how I use the notes I've made in Google Keep to share tasks with my family and conduct family meetings. This article is for those who

“want to share tasks with their spouse and learn good methods,” “want to have serious discussions with their spouse but don't know how to create the opportunity,” or “end up clashing over emotions within the family.” I hope that by using this system, misunderstandings will be less likely to occur.

● Google Keep Categories

In our home, we have created boxes as follows.

Among them, the contents of the Weekly Conference Box (Shared) are:

as follows.
The items we put in [Weekly] range from light to heavy. For example,

and so on. The point is not to talk about all of this at once, but to prioritize them by asking “When should we talk about this?” and note them down while spreading them out to dates a little further in the future. If you try to talk about everything at once, you will get tired and end up thinking, “I never want to do this again,” so I don't recommend it.

● Application in Family Meetings = “Weekly Conference” using Google Keep

In our home, we take 30 minutes to 1 hour once a week (Saturday or Sunday morning) to look at this Google Keep and hold a “Weekly Conference.”

I will introduce the points for each of the items above.
① “Schedule Check (Every time)”→ While looking at the “Plans/Schedule Box,” we check next week's schedule together and make any necessary adjustments on the spot.

② “Physical Condition of Both (Every time)”→ We worry about our children's health every day, but we tend to neglect each other's. We talk about our bodies, such as “I've had a bit of a headache lately,” “I'm having trouble falling asleep,” “I feel better since I started drinking hot water in the morning,” or “Nothing in particular,” and our minds, such as “I've been tired lately,” “I feel irritated for some reason,” or “Work is fun and stable.” First, we objectively analyze and share our own state. Sometimes we think about solutions, and other times we just listen to each other.

③ “Photo Sharing (Every time)”→ Photos taken over the week are put into the iCloud shared album in the iPhone's “Photos” app.

④ “Negative Emotion Sharing (Every time)” → This is the key! So, I will explain this in detail in the next section.

⑤ [Weekly]→ The topics vary depending on the week. If a new item to discuss later comes up during the conversation, we decide when to talk about it next and note it down.

● What does it mean to share “negative emotions”?

Now, about the “Negative Emotion Sharing” that I mentioned is the key.

This is a place to look back on the week's events and talk about things that made you feel irritated, sad, or uneasy. Some people might think, “Is it okay to bring up past things?” (Of course, sometimes I do feel a bit irritated, thinking, “Now?”) But mostly, I often think,

“I didn't know you felt that way. I'm glad you told me. Thank you.”

and so on. Anything is fine, from your own state of mind to emotions toward your family or work. The person listening focuses on active listening, sometimes digging deeper into the feelings at that time or thinking about countermeasures. The important thing is to have a common understanding that
“this is not a place to blame, but a place for better family management.” Other points are:

・Note it down instead of saying it on the spot (of course, if you want to say it then, that's fine).
・Share even small events that you might not remember later.・If you think, “Did you feel this way at that time?” toward your partner, try asking them.
・Share negative emotions toward children without hiding them.

It is easier to convey things calmly if you think back on them yourself later rather than saying them on the spot. When you become a family, you tend to think you are one, but of course, you are separate individuals. The other person might not feel the burden of something you find painful, or something you think is trivial might be an important part for the other person.

In particular, it is important to express negative emotions toward children. There seems to be a general social trend that “children are cute,” “you shouldn't think they aren't cute,” or “you shouldn't want to hit them or raise your voice.” Of course, abuse is not good, but parents are human too. Depending on the day, there are days when you feel that way. It is important to have a place to vent to your family instead of holding it in alone as “something you shouldn't do.”

By having a “Weekly Conference” once a week, you can safely hold negative emotions and yet be able to forget them.

● The “Weekly Conference” that actually had its ups and downs

First, regarding why I named it a "conference," it was triggered by the feeling that "a family is like running a company." Instead of clashing based on the emotions of the moment, I wanted to

manage things rationally as a team, working toward the goal of building a happy family where we can grow together. So, I business-like called it a "Weekly Conference." At first, the conference time would get too long (like 3 hours), or one of us would feel it was unfair because only one person was bringing up agenda items, or we wouldn't check in on each other's health or share negative feelings, leading to emotional outbursts during the conference.

However, after 3 years of starting the "Weekly Conference," we have gradually improved it, and I feel we have found a style that works for us. Now, I can't imagine managing our family without the "Weekly Conference," and

having this space allows me to safely "forget" about tasks and emotions and focus on other things. While we hope to have our children join us once they are a little older, my spouse and I talk about how
"we'll probably be doing this for the rest of our lives," even after the children have grown up and left.

The method I've presented here is just one example, so please try to find a way that feels comfortable and authentic to you.