I am a cat.

I have been reading Natsume Soseki's 'I Am a Cat' for a long time. It is surprisingly interesting in a normal way. Although there are parts where I don't understand the phrasing or the metaphors, it is basically a heartwarming story.

Sometimes, there are brilliant, literary descriptions like, 'The sun, tilting to the west, leaks in patches through the green of the paulownia trees, and the cicadas are chirping desperately on the trunks. It might rain by evening,' and while I think, 'That's Natsume Soseki-sensei for you!', I somehow find myself engrossed in reading it. It is about 500 pages long, and since the story progresses in a heartwarming way, I can't seem to finish it. However, I wonder how he could write such a volume from a cat's perspective. I wonder if he ever ran out of ideas. There was even a chapter that ended with the cat just going to look at a public bath.

I often see manga about cats, but I wonder if this is the reason why there are so few novels about cats. If you think about manga, when a boy robot with 100,000 horsepower saves the world, or a robot from the future stays in a house and helps with various things, or when superpowers are personified and given common names like 'Stands,' you end up thinking of those masterpieces.

Well, whatever, I'll just rip it off.

There are two masters in the house. In the morning, why are humans so busy and restless? There is no doubt that they are always noisy and flustered in the morning. I think they should wake up a little earlier like me. Every morning, I try putting my front paws on my master's face, extending my claws, meowing, or scratching the wall to make noise, but there is no sign of them waking up at all. Sometimes the master wakes up for a moment, but as soon as they make their smartphone light up, they start snoring again. The smartphone rings at the same time every day, they wake up for a moment, turn off the light, and the phone rings again, repeating this until they finally get up. When they get up, because I was meowing to wake them, they think I want food and immediately put that dry kibble into my bowl. Since they put it in, I have no choice but to eat the kibble, which isn't even that good, even though I don't really want to eat it right now. Once the master puts the kibble in, they act as if they are satisfied and exhale smoke from their mouth using something called a cigarette. They always go under the ventilation fan to exhale smoke from their mouth. Considering the trouble of turning the ventilation fan on and off, I think it would be better if they didn't do something that requires exhaling smoke. Humans have smooth faces, little hair, and are creatures that exhale smoke. Even while the master is doing things that look like preparations to go out, they go under the ventilation fan to exhale smoke whenever they get the chance. Eventually, I hear a click, and when both masters go out, my free time finally begins.


I usually read books, bask in the sun by the window, or watch TV. I pick up the 'Attack on Titan' I am currently reading and get engrossed in it. The place is usually decided; the top of the refrigerator is the standard spot. When one of my comrades in the Survey Corps started saying that they were a large titan, I was so surprised that I fell off the refrigerator. Just now, the Survey Corps reached the sea, and Eren and Armin's dream came true, and I shed tears.
When I realized it, I seemed to have fallen asleep, and the setting sun was shining in from the window, dyeing the room orange. When I looked out the window, birds were flying, making shadows as if to block the setting sun, and I let out a yawn.
Eventually, the mistress came home and was saying something like 'squeak, squeak' as if talking to herself. She noticed me and wiped the sleep from my eyes. Did she know I had shed tears? Then, she started taking various things out of a supermarket bag on the table, so I jumped onto the table to peek into the bag too. When I was peeking into the bag, I was told 'Hey,' and I got down under the desk for a moment. It seems the mistress started preparing dinner.

After a while, I heard footsteps, so I headed toward the entrance; judging by the smell, it seemed the male master had returned. For some reason, he didn't open the door and made a 'ding-dong' sound. When the mistress opened the door and let the male master into the house, the male master said, 'I lost my key.' I have heard the words 'lose a key' several times. The male master seemed dissatisfied, but the mistress said, 'Why? You should make a spare key. It's a problem if you don't have one,' and the male master reluctantly went back outside.
When he returned after a while, the male master was proudly showing off the spare key. Perhaps satisfied, he opened the refrigerator and opened the cap of the carbonated water, and the carbonation splashed. The floor became soaked, and the mistress let out a high-pitched voice, 'What are you doing?' After the male master finished wiping the floor, he rushed into the toilet. I followed him and rushed in together. The male master, pitifully, also splashed his urine and was wiping the floor again. This human is a pitiful creature who can't even urinate properly. Having overcome my own accidents, I can't say much, but he is a pitiful thing.

Eventually, the humans started eating dinner, and the male master was talking about how he had a bad day today. He said he walked around looking for lunch and ended up missing it, and ate a rice ball from a convenience store while walking. And he said he lost his key, splashed carbonated water and urine, and it was a disaster. I suddenly became curious about what the word 'Splash Mountain' meant and headed to the bookshelf. No matter how much I looked, I couldn't find the book that contained that word. I decided that I would have them let me use the computer tomorrow when the masters are gone.