A Psychotherapist's Perspective (1) | Necessary viewpoints for understanding others.
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➡︎ Focusing on inconsistencies in words and actions
✎＿Explanation
In the field of psychological counseling, we attempt to understand the client from various perspectives. In technical terms, this is called
“psychological assessment.”
This psychological assessment requires not only psychological tests and NLP, but also the sharpening of the counselor's own senses. Among these, I would like to introduce one perspective that is relatively useful in daily life. It is the idea that
“when what a person says and what they do are different, what they do is closer to their true essence.”It is easy to lie with “words.” It is even easier to lie with “written words” than with “spoken words.” Social media is a good example. In some cases, you can continue to lie. You can lie not only with words but also with “actions.” For example,
a fake smile, for instance. Haha.
However, “continuing to lie with actions” is much more difficult than “continuing to lie with words.” For example,
trying to hold in a bathroom break, for instance. Haha.
There is a biological background to this, and it has been proven. I will omit the details here as it would get too complicated. When you are interacting with someone and often feel a sense of “?” without knowing why, trying to understand the other person from this perspective can sometimes make things click. This is especially applicable in situations where “written words (text)” are central, such as on the internet or social media. I will add a little personal spice to this. What kind of spice, you ask?
“We are, to a greater or lesser extent, beings who harbor this contradiction.”
That is the spice. Our hearts, bodies, thoughts, feelings, dreams, hopes, and love cannot be divided like mathematics. They can only be divided in concept. In the real world, none of them can ever be divided. Thinking that they can be “divided” is an illusion.
No matter how wonderful the theory or philosophy, it cannot escape this illusion.
This contradiction is most deeply held by our “hearts.” Therefore, it can be said that we humans ourselves are beings who harbor contradictions.
This contradiction extends to the interactions between humans who harbor contradictory hearts, that is, to interpersonal relationships.
A family harboring contradictions.
A contradictory region where a contradictory family lives.
A contradictory city where a contradictory region exists.
A contradictory country where a contradictory city exists.
This planet where contradictory countries have gathered.
It continues on to a universe that harbors contradictions.
Therefore, we can see that the contradictions we harbor have this nested structure, that is, a fractal structure.
I have spoken in a somewhat jumbled way, so there may have been parts that were difficult to understand. To summarize what I have said so far in my own words,
contradictions are like snowflakes
is what it comes down to.
Now, let us return our perspective to interpersonal relationships once more. When we do, the inconsistency in the other person's words and actions resonates and vibrates with the inconsistency in our own words and actions. In other words,
the contradiction behind the other person's inconsistency in words and actions also exists within yourself.
That is what it means. If you loathe this contradiction, the conversation ends there. However, if you face this contradiction and learn to live with it, it leads to a deeper understanding of the self and others (and their hearts).
When you think about it this way, doesn't it become clear what you should do from a higher perspective?
To reveal the secret, this is the mental process I usually perform in the field of psychological counseling. In a word, it is
"Empathy"
This is what it is. This "empathy" is not some special ability. It is not a superpower, nor is it a power given to you when you were abducted by aliens. (Laughs)
It is a power that we originally possess.
However, our society, our cities, our education, our artificial objects, and AI cause that ability to decline. You could say that my empathy as a psychological counselor is in the process of regaining that weakened power while facing my own heart.
This time, I have shared this little story from the perspective of a psychological counselor.
Thank you for using your precious 'time called life' to read until the end.
I hope this will be a little something to support your heart.
✎＿Psychological Counselor U
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