My Work <Like> Balance: The Current Intersection of 'What I Want to Do' and 'What Is Expected of Me'

Every time I heard the term 'work-life balance,' I felt a slight sense of discomfort.

Of course, balancing work and life is important. Especially when working while raising children, 'how to allocate time' is a practical issue that cannot be avoided.

However, lately, rather than thinking about 'work' and 'life' separately, I have come to feel more comfortable thinking primarily about 'what state of being makes me happy.'

It was in this context that I learned about the concept of 'work <like> balance.'

What kind of concept is 'work <like> balance'?

'Work <like> balance' is not a concept of how to allocate work, childcare, and hobbies, but rather a way to adjust the ratio of 'what I want to do' and 'what is expected of me' within each of those areas.

That said, it might be hard to visualize with just this explanation. I actually tried the 'work <like> balance' diagnostic, which is useful for thinking about your current balance.

Work <Like> Balance | Job change with doda

The result of trying it was 'Blossomed Artist Mode', which sounds like a really fun mode.

As for the breakdown, it feels like 40% things I must do, 60% things I want to do. It was just barely over half for 'things I want to do' lol. It might be characteristic that the 'must do' feeling is particularly strong for housework and daily life, while the ratio of 'want to do' is high regarding work and care (childcare).

The diagnostic analyzes from five perspectives—'labor,' 'housework,' 'care (childcare/nursing),' 'leisure,' and 'daily life'—so I thought it was great for discovering unexpected true feelings about oneself.

In particular, since the ratio of 'work' to 'like' can be set in 1% increments, you can get a diagnosis that is sensitive to even very subtle feelings.

Before I became like this, I was completely out of alignment.

In the past, there was a significant gap between what I 'wanted to do' and what was 'expected of me/what I had to do.'

What was expected of me by those around me was the role of a 'logical, data-driven, and organized businessman.' In fact, I think I was able to meet those expectations to some extent. After all, I am good at organizing chaotic situations and moving things forward.

However, being confined only to that space was truly suffocating.

I am not a person who lives solely by logic.

I love hugging and nuzzling with my child, I love going to art museums, I love looking at beautiful jewelry, and I love the time spent taking walks and daydreaming. I also often move based on sensory flashes or the intuition that 'this seems better somehow'.

But in the past, I didn't show that sensory side of myself very much.

I spent a long time in environments where 'being logical' was valued, so I adjusted myself to fit that.

Of course, logical thinking itself is still important. In fact, it is quite useful in my work. However, logic is merely a tool, not who I am.

Ever since I became able to express that to the outside world, I have felt much more at ease.

What does it mean to work artistically?

Lately, I really love the process of 'envisioning an ideal and making it concrete.' There is a feeling where the information and facts I have gathered suddenly connect at a certain moment to form a 'single picture'.

The moment when the structure becomes visible, like, 'Ah, this is it.'

Furthermore, I also love the time spent sharing that picture with trusted members and thinking about, 'So, how do we actually put this into motion?'It is very comfortable to be in a state where we can rely on each other rather than carrying everything on my own shoulders.

Recently, generative AI has joined that group of partners.

I throw vague ideas from my head at it, bounce them off each other, and give them shape. The time spent trying this and that, thinking, 'Can we make this even more interesting?' is quite fun.

Looking back on these feelings, I think I prefer 'creating a worldview' more than 'building up logic' itself.I think I prefer 'creating a worldview' more than 'building up logic' itself.

'What is expected' and 'what I want to do' have connected without force

And lately, there have been more situations where I am valued for that sensitive side as well.

It is not just because I am 'logical,' butI am increasingly trusted because 'I can make leaps with my sensibility' and 'I can draw the big picture.'

This has been a very significant change.

Previously, the 'self that was expected' and the 'self that I wanted to be' were far apart, and there was a subtle pain in that.But now, they are gradually drawing closer and beginning to overlap.

I feel like I have reached a worldview where I don't have to force myself to act, and people naturally accept me as, 'Oh, this is the kind of person they are.'

The optimization of my 'work-like balance' is still ongoing.

Of course, I am satisfied with my current situation, but there are still things I want to adjust.

I want to do it all—childcare, work, and hobbies—so if I'm not careful, I naturally end up overloaded.Therefore, I believe it will remain important to notice when I start feeling like I'm being forced to do things before that feeling becomes too strong.
Also, I've recently felt that there are elements of daily life and housework that can be enjoyed, so I want to explore that as well.

However, lately I've been able to feel that it's okay to prioritize 'living happily' more than I did before.

What I want to do, and what is expected of me.

I think the point where those two things have started to overlap little by little is actually not bad at all.