The Right Way to Live Changes

I park my car in the designated spot and spend my lunch break there.

When I turn off the engine,
a breeze from early summer slips in through the window.
It is a soft breeze, carrying the scent of leaves.

It is only for a short time, but being enveloped by that breeze
eases the fatigue of the morning just a little.

However, that lasted only for a moment.
Several large trucks were parked next to me,
and their engines were still running.
There was no one in the driver's seats.
They were likely lying down in the back, taking a brief rest.
Thinking that perhaps they, like me, have jobs without a break room,
I cannot bring myself to blame them.

Depending on the direction of the wind that day,
exhaust fumes would drift toward me.
At such times, though it is a pity, I close the window.

I stuff a rice ball into my mouth.
I swallow some barley tea.
But even though it is my lunch break, I feel as if the flavor has faded somehow.

The trucks were still idling
even after my break was over.

To leave an engine running for nearly an hour,
I think it is a waste of fuel money.
Gasoline has become much more expensive than it used to be.
If it were my own car,
it is something I could not easily do.

It cannot be helped during seasons when air conditioning is necessary, but
surely, in a season when a refreshing breeze comes through the window,
couldn't they give the engine a rest?
Thinking about such things, I got out of the car.

Come to think of it, lately, every time a car stops at a traffic light,
more cars are quietly shutting off their engines.
Is it out of consideration for the environment, or is it a mechanism designed for safety?

I have driven company cars that do this a few times,
but I felt a bit unsettled.
Even convenience takes time to get used to.

Just as I was thinking about that,
my home microwave oven stopped working.
It had been acting up for a few days.
The power would turn on and off intermittently.
Even so, I had been managing to get by with it.

That microwave oven was something I bought when my eldest daughter started working.
A few years later, she brought it home when she quit her job.

At that time, our home already had a microwave oven.
My daughter's was larger than the one we were using then,
and since it wouldn't fit in the microwave space,
we usually kept it in the corner of the Buddhist altar room.

I would carry it to the kitchen only on days I baked cakes, then return it to its original place.

My parents, who were full-time farmers, my husband, who was a company employee, and me, along with our three daughters.
Back when seven of us lived together,
every day was lively, as if it were only natural.

Since then, years have passed.

I saw my father off, and my mother developed Alzheimer's-type dementia.
The whole family continued to care for her for ten years, and my mother also quietly ended her life.

Just as I thought our life of five was finally beginning,
my husband suddenly passed away.

And before I could even grieve, the house began to fall apart,
and mice began running around in the middle of the night.

I decided to build a new house, and the following year, my current home was completed, and
I made a fresh start with my daughters as a family of four.

The new house is more compact than the old one.
So, I had a professional dispose of the microwave oven I had been using, and
decided to use my eldest daughter's microwave instead.

When I was using it, my eldest daughter told me,
"Please unplug it every time you finish using it."

I felt a slight sense of discomfort at those words.

That was because I had always left the microwave plugged in until then.
The same went for the TV and the washing machine.
I had vaguely assumed that they didn't consume that much standby power.

However, since the original owner, my daughter, said so, I followed her instructions.
We unplugged the outlet every time we finished using it.
If I occasionally forgot to unplug it, my daughter would scold me.

The microwave oven that we had used for many years in that way,
finally reached the end of its service life.

Before buying a replacement, I suddenly wondered:
Was it really correct to unplug it every time?

When I looked into it, I found that recent microwave ovens consume very little standby power, and
in fact, many are designed to be used while left plugged in.
Both the times and the technology had changed since my daughter bought hers.

A truck idling in a parking lot.
An engine quietly stopping at a traffic light.
A microwave oven's power plug.

Each of these is likely an action chosen by someone who thought, "This is the right way."

There is no single right answer in life.
Moreover, those right answers gradually change their form over time.

That is why, from time to time, I find myself questioning the things I think are "fine as they are,"
wondering, "Is that really true?"

The right way to live changes

2612th consecutive day of posting on note
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*I have borrowed an image of Miwa Yutani.