A story about choosing again based on your own conviction, not someone else's correct answer
Good evening, I am Sumi Tsukino.
Thank you for opening this article during a time when you can take a breath at night.
Today, please let me talk a little about “choosing again.”
Are you choosing the “proper” path?
Before we know it, we sometimes end up choosing the “proper” path.
The path that seems to have no mistakes
The path that is easy to explain to others
The path that looks respectable
Things chosen that way certainly look
orderly from the outside.
But—if you feel like your breathing becomes a little shallow when you are alone, it might be because you made that decision while leaving your own feelings behind.
“Correctness” and “what suits you” are different things
Other people's correct answers always look impressive.
“This is what is normal”
“At this age, this is how it should be”
“Choosing this is the safe bet”
Those words look
beautiful, especially on days when your heart is lost.
But that correctness is not necessarily right for your heart right now.
Just as there are people who feel energized by the same way of working and others who quietly wear themselves out, I think that no matter how wonderful an option is, there are “people it suits and people it does not.”
Where does your own “conviction” lie?
Therefore, what is important is not just whether it is correct or not.
“Can I sleep soundly tonight with this choice?”
"Can I breathe easily here?"
I think it's about looking at that.
Your own "conviction" is never something flashy.
⚪︎ After choosing this, I feel a little less tense.
⚪︎ After this plan, I don't feel strangely exhausted.
⚪︎ When I'm with this person, I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
It is properly hidden within such small, daily sensations.
It's okay if it's not a perfect answer.
When you choose again, you don't have to come up with a perfect answer right away.
1. First, quietly observe what is painful.
(Identify in which situations you are forcing yourself, and when your feelings are being left behind.)
2. Use "whether I feel at peace" as your standard, rather than whether it's easy to explain to others.
Even without changing your life in a big way,
"reducing one plan," "keeping a little distance," "acknowledging things you can stop doing"
even just doing that will start to change your days quietly.
"Choosing again" to protect yourself
Choosing again is not about denying who you have been until now.
I believe it is aboutproperly protectingyour future self.
It doesn't have to be an answer that everyone agrees with. It doesn't have to be praised by anyone.
I just want to cherish that small feeling that lights up inside me, saying, "Maybe this is okay."
On days when other people's "correct answers" seem too dazzling, please don't leave your own feelings behind.
It's okay if there are days when you can't find an answer in a hurry.
If you let go of things that don't suit you little by little,
the form that suits you bestshould quietly remain. Please relax your heart and get some warm rest tonight.