Why I, Who Could Never Stick to Anything, Stuck to Triathlon

I am a person who cannot stick to anything.

Even if I start something with interest,
before I know it, I have quit.
I get bored easily.

Throughout my life so far,
I have had many things I could call hobbies.

But there was almost nothing that lasted a long time.

In the first place,
as a socially awkward person who had no hobbies other than video games,
after I started working, I did various things just as I was recommended or invited by those around me.


Skiing, snowboarding, billiards.
Online games.
Skating, ice hockey, rollerblading.
Motorcycles, surfing, and more.


Looking back, only online games lasted for four years, partly because I originally liked games.
I stubbornly refused to touch only cigarettes and mahjong.

It wasn't that any of them were "boring."
Of course, there were some I found fun.

But none of them lasted long.
They were fun, but something felt off, or
I felt like I was losing time or something else.

The reason is simple:
there was nothing that gave me a sense of fulfillment from the bottom of my heart.
I think that is why they didn't last.

◽️I was never good at sports to begin with

Let me say this first: I was not a person who was good at sports.

I think I was what you would call "unathletic."

I had no sense for it either.

I was especially slow at running.

Because I would be a burden to others, I was bad at team sports like relays, and ball games like basketball and soccer.

Since I was a child,
I hated sports where superiority or inferiority was clearly visible through times, physical dexterity, or appearance.

◽️But swimming was different

Instead, swimming was different.

My parents let me go to swimming lessons since I was small,
and only in swimming could I swim a little faster than others.

So even after I became an adult,
in the hobby section of forms,
I would just write "swimming."

Whether I truly liked it or not,
honestly, I didn't really know.

For me, swimming was the only thing I could call a special skill.

That said, it wasn't at a level where I won championships. My ability was just enough to barely place in a local prefectural tournament, or maybe win a prize once in a rookie tournament by chance.

Only in the summer, I am faster than the average person in the pool.
That alone was enough motivation to like it.

Such a person as me,
for some reason, has stuck with triathlon.

Honestly, I didn't like it from the start.
In fact, there were more things I disliked about it.

Even so, it continues.

The reason for that is
not because I had a "strong will" inside me.

◽️An era where you can't find what you like

Actually, it's the opposite.

I don't know what I like.
I can't find a hobby.

Before I know it, I've been searching for a long time.
I feel like there are many such people now.

Maybe there just wasn't a definition for it back then,
and my past self might have been like that too.

Now is an era with too much information.
Smartphones, social media. The influence of AI is especially significant.
As a result, time performance and cost performance are emphasized,
and there is no end to people trying to beat life efficiently, without waste or hardship.

Treating life like a game itself isn't bad.

But there is one big difference.

In real life, there is no set walkthrough.

There is no correct route,
nor is there a path that leads to the same result for everyone.

Even so,

"There must be a correct answer."
"There must be a more efficient way."

I end up thinking that way.

That's why I get lost.
That's why I can't decide.

That's why I want to cling to the walkthroughs recommended by others or AI.
That's why I lose sight of what I truly like.

It's actually simple.
There was never a correct answer to begin with.

What you believe in
just becomes the answer later on.

In my case, that was triathlon.

But if you ask me if I like triathlon itself, it's a bit different.

What I realized recently is that
I have a complex about "exercise other than swimming itself," and

"If I don't train my body, I'll be left behind by those around me"

I was driven by something like an obsession.

Even when doing the hobbies mentioned earlier, in the corner of my mind,
I have to run, I have to swim, I have to train my body.
As an unathletic person, I have to exercise more than others.
Such thoughts always cross my mind.
That's why my heart felt lighter on days I exercised, even a little.

Conversely, if I couldn't exercise, I felt a lack of fulfillment.

That hasn't changed even now.

◽️The obsession that has transformed

For me now,
this feeling has changed into a simpler desire.

How far can I go with my current body?

How fast can I run?
How fast can I move?
How strong can I become?


I am over 40 years old,
but I haven't reached my peak yet.
That's why it's interesting.


This is probably because I didn't
take sports seriously when I was young,
and because I had a complex about being bad at sports,

I think.

If I had pushed myself to the limit back then,
or if I had achieved brilliant results in swimming,
I might not be enjoying it this much now.

The "ceiling" you see once is high.

But in reality,

the limit at that time
is not necessarily your limit for life.

That is what I think now.

If you change how you climb,
there is a possibility that you can still go higher even as you age.

There is more than one way to climb a mountain.
As you age, you get better at climbing.
There is a different way to climb than when you were climbing with youth and momentum.

◽️The reason I can keep going is,

For no particular reason,
on days when I couldn't train my body,

for some reason, I feel a little regret.

This feeling
was there even before I started triathlon.

Back then, I was looking for something I loved.

But none of it lasted.

Actually, I was once recommended to do both road biking and triathlon
when I was younger.

But I quit.

The reason is simple.

Because I was alone.

To keep going, I lacked an "environment."
I didn't have anyone I could call a "companion."
I understand now.

People cannot keep going alone.

You can do your best because you have the goal of a competition.
You can keep going because you have companions who share the same purpose.
You can push yourself because you feel the presence of someone important, like family.


And the trigger for my change was a competition.


I decided to enter a triathlon competition.

Once I decided, I had no choice but to do it.

It was different when I did a marathon.
I thought, "It'll work out somehow."

The result was a disaster.
I thought, I'm never running again.

But you can't fake a triathlon.

If you can't swim, it's over.
If you can't ride, it's over.
If you can't run, it's over.

Furthermore, there is the transition.
If you forget your equipment, it's over.
You can't finish just by following the person in front of you.
You also need to know the competition rules and the course.

In every aspect, there is no escape route.

That's why I had no choice but to do it.

The reason I could keep going
is not willpower.

It's just that there were no escape routes.

And one more thing.

My wife's presence is also significant.
Honestly, she doesn't praise me much.

Rather,

"Don't you need to run?"
"Don't you need to practice?"
"You're going to embarrass yourself at the competition."

She is relentless.

But that's good.

When my weak self appears,
she pulls me back.

So I like to think,

that she wants me to be the kind of person who sees a triathlon through to the end.
And one more thing.

This isn't a very pretty story.

But I'll be honest.

"That's amazing."

I want to be told that.

I want to feel a little proud.

I want to be recognized a little.
That feeling is certainly there, too.

But I think that's fine.

The reason for continuing

doesn't have to be pretty.
It doesn't have to be about spirit.

Things you can keep doing.

Things you keep coming back to.

That, I think,

is probably what I "love."

That's why I can still keep going now.

#Triathlon
#MorningRoutine
#Consistency
#HabitFormation
#DontKnowWhatILove
#ToThoseWhoCantStickToAnything
#SelfGrowth
#AdultChallenge
#NotAthletic
#ChangeYourLife