Lingering Attachments to Abandoned Accounts

Things I want you to read if you feel tired of social media.

What are you looking for on social media?
Are you gaining anything from it?


I don't know anymore.
Even though I've been through many of them in the past.

Back then, I was obsessed,
and it's true that I enjoyed it to some extent.


So, what about now?
Actually, it's not fun.

I only open Threads occasionally.

Other than note, I hardly ever log in anywhere.

🔳 Where Emotions Are Directed

Social media was a trend.
Now, everyone does it.

But I still don't know what I was looking for back then.
My emotions were surely a mess,

and I wonder if I was just trying to deceive myself
by doing various things.
That's all I know.

Perhaps I didn't have a way to organize my emotions



before.
Thinking back,


I spent more time in bookstores and libraries than I do now.
I would look at the spines of books,

searching for the words I needed.
But for some reason,


the books I chose at bookstores were different from those at the library.
Since the library didn't have many new books,

the books that called out to me
were mostly cookbooks and essays, in addition to novels.

And I would cook at home while looking at recipe books,
or read essays while things were simmering.

That was my favorite style.

I don't think that way of organizing my emotions
was wrong.

However, when my feelings started to turn outward,
I drifted away from that method.

I just remembered while writing this.

Writing messy, raw emotional text.
I think it was exactly around that time
that I was writing things like that.


Even though turning outward isn't a bad thing,
my emotions were disturbed by something, and my inner self began to crumble.

🔳 The Result of Spreading Myself Too Thin

My accounts still remain
on various social media platforms.

Of course, there are many I've quit.

Hatena Blog, mixi, Facebook.
And what else?


I've kept the blogs.
But I've left them abandoned.

I used to draw, so I have a store too.
But I haven't updated it.

Everything is half-baked.
Then just quit everything!

I hate that I don't think that way.


Faint memories still remain there.
Because the time and passion I poured into them were real.


Why did I end up leaving things half-baked?
When I think about it, the cause wasn't boredom.

I put things off whenever trouble occurred.
Yes, because I got tired.

"I should be able to start again someday..."

I believed that, but algorithms change.
Trends and methods,
the world is always moving, so
I couldn't keep up.

And so, I linger on,
leaving various accounts and sites behind.

Even though that's not a bad thing,
I couldn't help but feel bothered by something.

You don't need to feel guilty about abandoning them, but
I think you should be mindful of storage space.

🔳 Leftover Accounts

Now, I am focusing on writing.

That should be enough, but
sometimes I find myself looking away.

"Come over here~"
"Come back~"

It's not a horror story, but
it's true that I feel like I'm being called by something.


Moreover, the fact that most of it can be done for free
is actually troublesome.

I did manage to organize my blogs.
Because they cost money.

At one point, I had 7 domains and subdomains.
I was running 5 blogs.

Now I only have one. Though it's not active. (lol)


In the end, what was I trying to do?
Of course, I had a clear purpose.
Everything was about writing,
and the themes shouldn't have been that broad.


But in reality,
there was so much to do here and there.

In other words, I was scattered.
After all, the environment was important.

🔳 note and Me

Now, I am writing on note.

No matter how noisy it is around me,
I've been able to continue without quitting.

Perhaps,
note might be the best fit for me.

Back then, I was
trying to fill something by turning outward.


But now, it's enough to just write here.
Just that makes me feel a little calm.


The half-baked accounts are still there.

I might delete them someday,
but I probably won't restart them.


So, I'll just leave them there.

As memories.