Diary | On the Winter Solstice, I paused for a moment

Today is the winter solstice.
The day with the shortest daylight of the year.

It is often introduced as
the day to take a yuzu bath

or the day to eat pumpkin,
but I like this day.

For me, the winter solstice is
the day when the nights stop getting longer.

Looking back on the year,
I feel like there were more things
that didn't go as planned.

Things I tried hard at but
didn't pay off.

Nights spent worrying about family.

Days when my feelings couldn't keep up
and I had to stop in my tracks.

Night is often
used as a metaphor for difficult times.

But night is not a bad thing.

Night has its own role,
and it is also a precious time
to settle your feelings
and let your thoughts wander.

Both raising children and living with family
are full of things that don't have immediate answers.

Sometimes I get tired from being too considerate,
or I lack the capacity,
and words I never intended to say
slip out.

Sometimes, times that feel like night
last for a long time.

Even so, the winter solstice
teaches us.

That the nights will not get any longer.

They say there is no night that doesn't end, but
when you are in the middle of the night,
you don't know when it will end,
and it can make you feel anxious.

At times like that, it is important to be kind to yourself
and settle your heart.

By the way, in our house,
we don't do anything special.

We eat pumpkin
and soak in a bath with yuzu.

The children
seem to enjoy the yuzu that isn't usually there,
and last year they were competing
to see who could sink or float them (laughs).

The children look like they are having fun.
And,
they are children who never want to get out of the bath.

In a situation where I would usually
raise my voice,
the scent of yuzu drifting in the air
makes me speak a little more gently.

...Well, I wonder how it will go this year (laughs).

The version of myself who couldn't laugh
during the night hours,
the days I felt frustrated,
I take it all together
and tell myself,
"You did well to make it this far."

I believe the winter solstice is not a day for reflection,
but a day for appreciation.

From tomorrow, the days
will get a little longer again.

There won't be a dramatic change.

It won't get bright all at once.

Even so,
the morning will surely come.

When the morning comes,
I can look forward just a little bit.

That is perfectly fine, isn't it?

If there is anyone out there right now
who is feeling down,
I want you to remember this.

Today is the day the nights stop getting longer.

It is okay to take some time to settle your heart.

Let's take it slow and spend the day in our own way 😊