Is it necessary to come out to your partner? (1665 characters/Can be read in 4 minutes!)

Do you say, "I'm bisexual!"?

I am Manatsu, a prominent minority, and I am bisexual, but

do I come out about my minority status when I get a boyfriend (or girlfriend)?

To give you the conclusion first, I don't say it when I get a boyfriend, but I would say it if I got a girlfriend (since I've never had a girlfriend, to be precise, I think I would say it).

Why is my approach different when I have a boyfriend versus when I have a girlfriend?

In the first place, you can't know everything

That is because the criteria for deciding whether to say it or not is "whether it is necessary."

Just because you have a partner, it doesn't mean you need to tell them everything about yourself, and

that applies not only to partners but also to parents, siblings, and friends who are as close as best friends.

A long time ago, when I was in my teens, there was a time when I wanted to know everything about the person I loved and wanted them to know everything about me too.

However, now I believe there is absolutely no need to know everything about others, and that it is impossible to know everything anyway.

Perhaps it is because I am a prominent minority, and explaining one by one why I am different from others, or how and to what extent I am different,

is so much information that it becomes incredibly troublesome, so in a sense, I may have just given up on it (laughs).

Cases where coming out is unavoidable

If I were to get a girlfriend, since I am a woman, that would mean my partner is also a minority.

Then, a sense of solidarity as "fellow minorities" is born, but at the same time, the need to explain "what kind of minority" arises.

In the flow of conversation, I inevitably have to explain things like "are you only attracted to girls?" or "have you ever dated a man?"

So, it is more accurate to say that I don't come out because I want to, but because I have no choice but to come out.

If possible, I want to be a "normal woman"

On the other hand, if I get a boyfriend, the situation is completely different from the case of having a girlfriend.

I am biologically female, and since getting a boyfriend is generally considered extremely normal,

I don't get asked questions like "Do you like girls too?" or "Are you into both men and women?", and those questions usually don't even come to mind.

When I am with a boyfriend, I look like a "normal woman who likes men" from every angle,

and if I can, I would like to continue existing as a "normal woman" just as I appear, without any trouble.

There are no benefits, and there are too many disadvantages

Also, another reason I don't tell my boyfriend is that there isn't much benefit to coming out to him as bisexual.

If I were to get a boyfriend and, thinking I want him to know as much about me as possible, said, 'Actually, I'm bisexual'...

I would end up being asked a lot of questions I don't want to answer, like 'What kind of girls have you liked in the past?'

And I would be intentionally giving him room to harbor unnecessary suspicions, like, 'So she likes women too... does that mean the chance of her cheating is doubled?'

In short, it makes things incredibly complicated and increases the amount of hassle...

Don't play cards that put you at a disadvantage

You wouldn't intentionally play cards that put you at a disadvantage during a card game, would you?

You would choose the cards you play to give yourself the best possible advantage.

It's the same with this; basically, if I judge it's unnecessary, I don't talk about my minority aspects.

Conversely, if I think it's better to talk about it or if I feel it's necessary, I might talk about it.

How about you?

Do you, who happened to open today's article, have any minority aspects?

If you do possess something that could be considered a minority trait, how much do you talk about it to others?

I am grateful for your presence as you look at this from the other side of the screen, and

I would love to get to know you, since you stopped by my article.

I would also be happy if you could leave a comment or something so that I can go read your articles too!