What to do first when you feel anxious about not using AI

I find myself unable to open a book.

The books I bought with the intention of reading have remained untouched for a while. It is not that I lack the time. It is just that when I try to open one, I feel restless for some reason. I feel like I am wasting time if I am not using AI to work on something.

Time spent not using AI feels somehow guilty. If that feeling sounds familiar, this might be your story too.

That sense of guilt, perhaps, does not need to be fixed. I would like to write about the story of how I came to realize that.

Time that should have been enriching becomes a source of guilt

I used to genuinely love the time I spent reading books. Opening a book on psychology or philosophy and encountering ideas I had never known before—that alone was enough to satisfy me.

However, lately, even on days when I have read plenty, a strange feeling arises afterward. Looking back, I obviously did not use AI during that time. Then, a kind of guilt emerges, as if I had 'accomplished nothing' or 'wasted my time.' I realized that about myself.

Reading time used to be, without question, an enriching time. It should have been precious time that I had no reason to be ashamed of. Somewhere along the way, that flipped.

Time that should have been enriching had turned into a source of guilt simply because it was 'time spent not using AI.'

When I realized that, I felt a bit strange.

And this was not limited to books.

Looking closely, any time I was not touching AI was no longer counted as 'productive time,' no matter what I was doing. It was not just the time spent reading. The time spent talking to people, or just thinking, too. 'I haven't touched AI much today, so maybe I wasn't productive.' Before I knew it, I had started measuring my days that way.

I had outsourced the feeling of being productive to AI tasks

There is value in bouncing ideas off AI to deepen my thinking. When I put my vague thoughts into words, AI catches them and returns questions. As I try to answer those questions, thoughts I hadn't even realized I had begin to take shape. I certainly do have the feeling of diving deep.

However, the time spent truly introspecting on my own, thinking within my own head and heart, may have decreased.

Looking at them side by side, one thing occurred to me. Tasks and brainstorming sessions using AI result in more text on the screen and visible achievements. On the other hand, time spent reading a book alone or thinking quietly looks like I have stopped working from the outside. Even if I am using my brain just as much, one looks like I am 'doing something,' while the other looks like I have 'stopped.'

Moving my hands. I think I had, without realizing it, outsourced the foundation of the feeling that 'I am doing something' or 'I am being productive' to that.

That is why the time spent not using AI itself makes me restless. If I am not brainstorming, am I not doing anything? Honestly, I still feel that way myself even now.

In trying to correct it, I ended up denying myself

I have lived with this feeling for a long time. It is not just once or twice. For a long time, I have repeatedly tried to fix or correct this state, forcing myself to make unreasonable changes.

For a long time, there were periods when I couldn't even realize that I was in such a state. From there, I learned psychology and learned to reflect, and I have become able to notice my state of mind to some extent.

So this time too, when I realized that I don't feel productive unless I'm working with AI, there is a way to try to unravel it as a cognitive distortion. Of course, that would be one way to do it.

However, what I tend to do is deny it by saying, 'That's not it.' While I'm having a dialogue within myself, saying, 'You shouldn't think that way,' I end up falling into self-denial before I know it. If I were to list such situations, there would be no end to them.

The more I try to correct it, the more painful it somehow becomes. For a long time, it was a repetition of that.

Notice, don't try to fix

So, what should I do?

What I do is just recognize it by saying, 'I see, that's how it is.'

The problem lies in the fact that I am in this state without knowing it. So first, I notice that state. I think that is the most important thing.

Here, taking measures to prevent or deny it is actually not good. If you try to force a correction, it will rebound and return to that state, or distortions will appear elsewhere. So, I dare not do anything. I just acknowledge it, saying, 'I feel like I'm not productive right now because I'm not using AI.'

It's strange, but the moment I notice it, it has already started to loosen up. The idea that 'it doesn't matter whether I'm productive or not even if I'm not using AI' naturally sinks in.

If I try to understand this in my head in a strange way, it will only get more complicated. So, I don't even try to understand it. I just notice it. That's all.

Don't you think time spent not using AI is a waste?

Don't you also feel that time spent not using AI is a waste?

Time spent reading books. Time spent thinking without doing anything. Isn't there a sense of guilt mixed into that time when your hands seem to have stopped?

Even if that is the case, it is okay not to try to force a fix. You don't have to try to rethink it correctly.

If you feel restless before opening a book, first try saying in your heart, 'I'm feeling impatient because I'm not using AI right now.' That is all I do first.

At least for me, just by putting it into words, I have become able to distance myself a little from my own feelings.

Time spent not using AI is not time spent doing nothing. I think that time spent reading books and thinking with your own head is also nurturing something in a place that cannot be seen.

Continuing the exploration, together

What kind of time do you feel guilty about right now? When you are in the middle of it, it is hard to see that feeling yourself. I think it starts with noticing yourself like that first.

I am offering a "Self-Discovery Compass" as a gift to those who subscribe to my newsletter. It is an interactive app that combines numerology, MBTI, and the Enneagram, helping you see the contours of your own self as you answer a few questions.

I have prepared a "3-question course" for those who want to try it out lightly, and an "8-question course" for those who want to explore more deeply.

I would like to deliver this to those who want to quietly confirm what they are feeling guilty about right now.

You can register for free.

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