Why Bosses Who Cannot Greet Are Looked Down Upon by Subordinates: The Essence of 'Rei' (Courtesy) Taught by Bushido

There are bosses who look away even when they meet you in the elevator.

There are also bosses who, even when you greet them in the morning, only reply with a grunt while still looking at their smartphones.

It is precisely these kinds of people who tell their subordinates to 'be more thoughtful'.

Strangely enough, it is these very bosses who are quietly written off by their subordinates.

They are the only ones who do not realize it.

Why does this happen?

The answer lies in the concept of 'Rei' (courtesy) that was valued in Bushido.

Who is courtesy for?

When people hear the word 'etiquette,' many think of stiff manner classes.

The angle of a bow, how to hand over a business card, the rules of seating arrangements.

However, the 'Rei' referred to in Bushido is slightly different from such superficial manners.

In 'Bushido: The Soul of Japan' written by Inazo Nitobe, the essence of courtesy is described as follows.

Courtesy is the visible expression of consideration for others.

In other words, etiquette is 'proof' that you respect the other person.

There is no meaning in imitating only the form. Courtesy without heart was despised even in the world of Bushido.

Conversely, heartfelt courtesy conveys that 'I value you' more eloquently than words.

Why bosses who do not greet are looked down upon

Let us return to the initial question here.

Why are bosses who do not greet looked down upon by their subordinates?

The reason is simple.

This is because the act of not greeting serves as a silent message that says, 'I do not respect you.'

Subordinates are sensitive.

Rather than what is said in words, they read 'how this person views me' from trivial daily attitudes.

Not returning a greeting.
Not making eye contact.
Not remembering names.

These are all signs that you are treating the other person as 'not an important existence.'

And humans do not hold loyalty toward those who belittle them.

This is not a new discovery written in business books.

Warlords of the Sengoku period knew the same thing.

The reason Uesugi Kenshin never failed to show courtesy to his retainers

Uesugi Kenshin was the strongest warlord, known as the Dragon of Echigo.

There are multiple anecdotes remaining that Kenshin showed courtesy even to low-ranking foot soldiers.

Of course, these are legends from the chronicles of Kenshin's life, and not every detail is confirmed as historical fact.

However, at the very least, it can be read from many records that the Echigo retainer group held high loyalty under Kenshin's leadership.

The stronger the warlord, the less they failed to show courtesy to their subordinates.

This is no coincidence.

Only those who show courtesy can truly move people.

You can move people with orders alone. But that is merely temporary obedience born of fear.

Those treated with courtesy will move on their own without being ordered.

The reason Kenshin gained immense trust from his retainers was likely not just because of his strength.

'I'm busy' is no excuse

“Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration for just a greeting?”

Some people might think that.

To be honest, I used to think that way too.

But think about it.

A greeting takes only a few seconds.

Can someone who begrudges even those few seconds really spare time for their subordinates?

People who lack courtesy because they are busy will lack courtesy even when they are not busy.

This is based on experience, but the probability of it being true is high.

Courtesy is not something you do only when you have time.
It is precisely because you never fail to show it, regardless of the situation, that it has value as courtesy.

Three things you can start doing today

I will stop with the theory here.

I will list just three concrete things you should do.

First: Greet them first.

Do not wait for your subordinates to greet you. Reach out to them yourself. That alone creates the impression that “this person is looking out for me.”

Second: Call them by name.

Do not call them “hey” or “you there,” but address them by name. Being called by name is proof to a human being that they are “recognized.”

Third: Look them in the eye when you respond.

A “yeah” while looking at your smartphone or computer does not reach the other person. Just for a second is fine. Stop what you are doing, look them in the eye, and respond.

Actions that take only a few seconds can change your relationship of trust with your subordinates.

This is not just a matter of spirit.

Only those who show true courtesy can ultimately move people's hearts.

This is what Bushido has been teaching for hundreds of years.

I want you to try one thing tomorrow morning.

— General Tororoimo

You don't need a textbook to learn courtesy.

Take it in through your ears and incorporate it into your daily actions.

With Amazon Audible, you have unlimited access to business books on etiquette, human relationships, and leadership.

The few dozen minutes of your commute can become the time that changes the you who couldn't even change a single greeting.

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Next time, I will write about 'words.' The reason why 'Osewa ni natte orimasu' (thank you for your continued support) has become hollow, and the samurai way of putting soul into words.

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