The 'Little Happiness' I Finally Realized as Someone Raised by Toxic Parents | To the Me Who Could Only Feel Fulfilled by Comparing | Happy Writing Marathon #48

"You can find happiness in something like that?"

The old me
felt that way somewhere deep down.

Even when I heard about someone's casual daily life or
a modest event—

I couldn't accept it honestly,
thinking, 'Is that really happiness?'

But if I could speak to my past self,
I would want to tell her this.

This is a prompt for Ken Honda's note project.

Today, I will write about this topic
while tracing the 'little happiness' I feel now🌱

1. What is 'happiness' to you?

Have you had a moment recently
where you thought, 'I'm happy'?

What kind of time
was that for you?

2. The me who could only be fulfilled by comparing

The me of the past,

could only feel happiness
by being 'above others.'

Appearance, age, grades, money.

If I was winning somewhere, I felt relieved,
but the moment I felt even slightly lower, I would suddenly feel miserable.

Behind that, my mother was always there.

She was someone
who demanded perfection from me.

My mother only smiled happily
when I achieved results.

That is why I
could not stop trying so hard.

Before I knew it—

I think I had started living
based on 'how I am evaluated'
rather than 'how I want to live'.

3. When I became tired of constantly comparing myself

However, at one point,
I suddenly thought.

'...How long will this go on?'

Even if I win by comparing myself to someone,
the next comparison just begins.

I found myself
gradually getting tired of that cycle.

From there,
the time I spent thinking about myself increased.

And, while borrowing the strength of various people—

Little by little,
I became able to think about
'my mother's values' and 'my own feelings' separately.

4. My own senses have gradually returned

Even now, it is not perfect.

In sudden moments,
old habits can still surface.

But—

It is a little different from before.

Even without forcing myself to conform,
I can feel 'this is what I think'.

—Such moments have been increasing little by little.

And then, I realized.

Happiness is not found in comparing yourself to others.

It is something quieter.
It is something that exists within yourself.

5. Three kinds of happiness I feel right now

I will write down just three little moments of happiness
that I have felt recently.

The first one🌱

That my daughter
has started eating a variety of things.

Before, she would only eat certain things,
and every meal was a bit of a pressure.

But lately,
she says, 'This is delicious,' as she eats.

Seeing the plate completely empty,
somehow, just that makes me feel relieved.

The second one🌱

That my son
suddenly gives me kisses.

Saying, 'Mommy, I love you so much,'
for some reason, right on my nose (lol).

(He usually has a bit of a cold,
so honestly, it's a little troublesome)

But when I think that this is a time that won't last forever,
I end up forgiving him.

The third one🌱

That my husband has started being able to wake up on his own in the morning.

This is a really small thing, but...

I used to wake him up every day,
and honestly, I was always frustrated inside.

But now,
I am able to spend my mornings peacefully.

—When I try writing it down,

it's all really,
nothing major at all.

But,I think this is surely the kind of time
that the past me wanted.I think.

6. Something that surely exists within you too

If right now,

you don't really understand what happiness is.

If you feel that way somewhere—

that might be a sign
that you have started to change.

Just a little bit is fine.

Why not try finding moments where you think,
“This might be nice”?

Because beyond stacking those up,
a warm daily life is surely waiting for you.

Within you too,
there should already be small happinesses, for sure🌱

In this place,
I am writing little by little about how to choose a “peaceful love and life”
for those who are “wishing for happiness while carrying their past.”

If today's writing,
gently touched your heart.

I would be happy if we could meet here again🌱
If you'd like, please follow me and read the next article too.

Torori

Notice

This article was selected as one of Mr. Honda's “5 works that particularly moved my heart with 'This is wonderful!'”✨️
Thank you, Mr. Honda!

Thank you for featuring the article

Here is an introduction to an article that recently featured this account🌱

📌Sakuran-san

A noter who writes about daily life from the perspective of an HSP.
Her choice of gentle words warms my heart every time I read them.

Thank you for adding to your magazine

Here is an introduction to a magazine that recently featured my article🌱

Thank you all for the features🙇‍♀️✨️
I hope to continue writing articles that make people feel glad they read them🌱

#CreativeAwards2026
#EssayCategory
#HappyWritingMarathon
#KenHonda
#ToxicParents
#AdultChildren
#FindingHappinessEvenIfRaisedByToxicParents