Can 'Reading' Cure Social Anxiety? (Smoothing Out Relationships with a Rich Vocabulary)
How reading fosters rich communication skills
◾️Training empathy through reading
Human relationships are built on conversation.
I am stating the obvious like a fool,
but it is important, so I will say it again.
Human relationships are built on conversation.
People deepen their trust in one another
through daily small talk.
In particular, when you canempathizewith each other during a conversation, thatsense of trustincreases all at once.
In this way, for people to become intimate,
empathybecomes important.
By empathizing and agreeing with the other person,
and when you get the feeling that youare on the same wavelength,' peoplebecome friendsorbecome loverswith that person.
However, to empathize,
various experiences are necessary.
For example, to empathize with a pregnant woman,
you have no choice but to experience pregnancy yourself.
To understand the intensity of a child's crying at night or the difficulty of changing diapers, you have no choice but to gain experience.
Humans can gain the
empathy needed to relate to all kinds of people by accumulating various experiences.
However, there is one way to increase empathy
without actually experiencing it.
That method is called "reading".
Using the previous example, if you read a novel about a pregnant woman, you will come to
understand the feelings of a pregnant woman painfully well.
You will understand what it feels like when changing
a baby's diaper.
《Example of feelings when changing a diaper》
① Overflowing with love
② It's just such a hassle
③ A baby's poop isn't actually that smelly
④ This poop smell is addictive, I can't help but sniff it ☺️
These kinds of psychological aspects are all,
revealed in novels.
Unlike movies or dramas, novels depict not only dialogue but also the inner feelings of people.
When a wife greets her husband who has come home late at night, she might say, '
Thanks for your hard work today❤️' with her mouth, but in her heart, she might be thinking, '
Come home early once in a while and take care of the kids! 😠'
I believe that this inner side being laid bare is
the beauty of novels.
And,
if you understand that inner side, even if you have never experienced pregnancy yourself, it is possible to empathize with a pregnant woman.
If you ask a friend who is a mother, 'Is your husband enthusiastic about raising children?',
'Listen to this. Just the other day, he said he was busy with work, but then he drank alcohol, watched baseball, and fell asleep snoring on the sofa. I'm not his housekeeper, you know!'
You might be able to draw out her true feelings.
At this time,
if you have read novels where child-rearing is the main theme, you will know how difficult it is,
so you can
empathize with the other person accurately.
Furthermore, if you use that novel about child-rearing as a gateway to read specialized books on child-rearing,
even though you are not pregnant yourself, you might even be able to offer advice to your pregnant friends.
In this way, reading can sometimes provide deeper insights than actual experience.
◾️Vocabulary Builds Communication Skills
Just like empathy,
vocabulary is essential for weaving conversations together.
The more diverse your vocabulary is, the more you can
entertain others in conversation.
If your vocabulary is too limited,
no matter how interesting things happen around you,
you have no way to convey them to others.
The reason comedians can tell funny stories
on 'Suberanai Hanashi' is because they excel in vocabulary.
Furthermore,
the ability to structure sentences is also important.
The only way to simultaneously train both vocabulary and sentence structure is through reading.
The Japanese language is truly diverse.
For example, even with the phrase 'I was moved',
"Deeply impressed", "Overwhelmed with emotion", "Touched my heart", "Soaked into my soul", "The whole nation cried", and many other ways to express yourself.
People with excellent vocabularies
can skillfully use these words and entertain others with their own unique conversational style.
To use the previous example,
instead of saying, "I saw you helping that grandmother in trouble earlier, I was moved!"
by simply saying, "I saw you helping that grandmother in trouble earlier, the whole nation cried (lol)!",
you will add humor.
In this way, to manipulate words skillfully,
reading books and inputting various ways of expressing words into your brain is the most effective method.
When you read books on a daily basis, various vocabularies are stored in every drawer of your brain.
When you have a conversation, you just need to pull words out from the drawers in your brain and speak.
The reason you are socially awkward might just be that you have too few
words in your vocabulary and
cannot connect your words together.
◾️Reading Builds Self-Esteem
By now, those who have read this article should
empathy, vocabulary, and writing composition skills have deeply understood how important
these are.
Reading is equipped with the wisdom of the ages for nurturing human relationships.
And if you utilize these abilities,
even those who struggle with conversation and find it difficult to build relationships will be able to
easily build relationships.
In fact, I was originally extremely socially anxious, and for a long time, I could not have real connections with people.
Around me, there were some people who seemed like friends, but there was not a single person I could trust from the bottom of my heart and talk to with peace of mind.
Because I feared people so much, I was
locked away for a long time in a vast solitary cell.
↓How to cure social phobia about
↓The necessity of friends about
However,
I have almost no fear of people now.
On the contrary, I find talking to people fun, a level I could never have imagined in the past.
Just like in novels,
when I think that everyone has their own story where they are the protagonist, I become interested in people.
Lately, I have been
mainly based on the knowledge gained from reading,
engaging in conversations that delve into people's lives, and sometimes deepening discussions.
Through communication with others,
I am nurturing myself.
This communication skill is
definitely something cultivated through reading.
In the past, words did not
flow out so smoothly.
Through the increase in intelligence and thinking ability gained from reading,
I was able to instill confidence in myself.
↓Ways to improve communication skills method
◾️Modern people who have no time to read
That said, I think there are many people who say,
I don't have time to read books.
Recently, the book
『Why You Can't Read Books When You're Working』
became a bestseller, and
it is absolutely true that working adults are so busy with work that they have no time to read books.
People cannot live without working.
After working, reading, an activity that consumes the maximum amount of brain resources, is probably too much to ask.
I can't do that either.
Because I have many missions I must accomplish
.
『Defending suspects in court (Ace Attorney)』
『Defeating Darth Vader with the Force (Star Wars game)』『Hunting Rathalos to craft new weapons (Monster Hunter)』
and so on, I am kept very busy.
Aren't you just playing games?!
Setting that retort aside,
my days off are, in this way, extremely busy.
Therefore, there is absolutely no way I have
time to read books.
◾️Reading while working
So, I decided to
Iread books while working.I decided to do this.
'Huh? What are you talking about? Are you crazy??'
If you thought that,
you are still a narrow-minded newbie.
For you newbies, let me say it again.
Idevour books while I work.
Last year,I read 100 books while at work.
On my days off,
I want to play games, draw, or make music, soI have no time to read books.
In this world,
there is a way to work while slacking off.It exists.
If you don't have the energy to read on your days off,
why not just read while you're at work!
It's a Marie Antoinette-style way of thinking.
I
“living life freely and casually” as my primary goal, so I do not want to work myself to the bone for the company for even a single second.
To me, that means mental 'death'.
When I am working for the company,
I am in a state of suspended animation.
Therefore,
I will continue to live without trying too hard.
Just like me,
“I want to work while slacking off”
For those who think super concrete methods are summarized below, so please take a look!
↓My way of living without trying too hard
↓Jobs where you can read while working
I digressed a little, but
people suffering from social anxiety,
I really want you to read books.
Read books, and
empathy, vocabulary, and writing structure skills if you acquire these,
whether you like it or not, your conversational skills will improve dramatically.
The reason you are settling for social anxiety is likely because
you have not yet
mastered the Japanese language well enough to hold a fluent conversation.
Let's develop a reading habit
and polish our human skills together.
For those who don't know what books to read, I have listed
recommended novels below.
Please take a look.
◾️Recommended Novels
《Lagos of the Journey / Yasutaka Tsutsui》
This is a fantasy novel that makes you feel like you are traveling through another world. You can read it in a pleasant mood the whole time.
《Onmyoji Series / Baku Yumemakura》
This is a story where Abe no Seimei exterminates demons. Each story is self-contained and easy to read, so I recommend it for beginners!
《Koukun / Nahoko Uehashi》
This is an epic story about a queen who can perceive all things through scent as she faces a national crisis. Every work by Nahoko Uehashi depicts human emotions realistically.
《Killing Commendatore / Haruki Murakami》
I am a fan of Haruki Murakami's writing. His metaphors are particularly excellent, so you can learn all kinds of Japanese expressions.
《Mucous Membrane Brothers / Ko Amemura》
Ero, gore, and violence—it is an aggressive work, to say the least. It is too intense to recommend to everyone, but the story woven by these insane characters is so interesting that it is a personal top recommendation.
'Koukun' and 'Killing Commendatore' can also be listened to on
Audible. *Since the
first month is free, if you cancel after reading, you can read for free
for free! Please use the
image link below!
Thank you for reading until the end! 😭
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Please check out my other articles too! 🥸
↓How to cultivate self-esteem
↓Tendencies of people who find interpersonal relationships a burden
