Everything Changed After I Took a Leave of Absence

In March 2021, I took a leave of absence for the first time in my life. My diagnosis was adjustment disorder. It was my first time visiting a psychosomatic clinic, and I was at an age often referred to as 'around forty'.
The image of my three children crossed my mind, and I felt at a loss, wondering, 'What should I do about things at home?'

After a three-month leave, I returned to work. Since then, even while coming close to a mental breakdown many times, I found that my direct supervisor had become a director, and recently, I have been spending more time working with the management team, including the CEO.

Recently, I realized that that leave of absence was a major turning point in my life. And although I couldn't easily see my own growth or progress at the time, I realized that I had been allowed to learn many things.

I know I was lucky, but I am also aware that I am by no means a special person. I have picked out three things I learned since taking that leave. I hope this will be of some help to those who are struggling with their mental health or feeling stuck in their work.

1. There are things that can only be acquired through steady, consistent effort

This way of thinking had the greatest impact on me. Just as you don't suddenly gain muscle by working out for hours on just one day, it might be similar to how you might rebound even if you manage to diet drastically in a single day.

Or, you could say it's the same as how a seed won't suddenly bloom into a flower just because you water it many times a day and dump tons of fertilizer on it.A series of small steps based on small changes and habituation spread roots firmly within me and thickened my trunk.

For me, who was bound by the idea of efficiency—trying to move in the shortest distance possible to achieve results in a short period—knowing that there were other ways of thinking was a major learning in itself. As a result, I became able to think about which type of approach should be used to tackle the current challenge.

In reality, it was very modest, but things like 'opening a three-year diary,' which are things I could continue even when I wasn't feeling well became habits as a result. By turning this into a mental log, I was able to notice that the timing of my mental damage coincided with my work cycle, and that I had been worried about similar things before.

Furthermore, there were countless times when the current me, feeling stuck, was saved by the realizations and messages written by my past self in colored pens.

2. When you're doing well, build a system!

Before my leave, I once failed a job interview because I gave the worst possible answer when asked about my weaknesses: 'My weakness is that I'm moody and my results are inconsistent.' Looking back, it was a natural result, and while I think there are better ways to phrase or present it, it was a weakness I was well aware of myself.

I changed something after my leave. Until then, I had been using all my resources to complete tasks. If I finished early, I would start on tomorrow's work. While that method is certainly effective or necessary at times, as a result of thinking about stabilizing my performance, I started focusing on building systems in addition to the resources used for tasks.

By doing this, even if I am in a state where it is difficult to perform well, I can still carry out minimum duties. Specifically, this involves actions to perform daily tasks efficiently, such as creating manuals, standardizing processes, and organizing necessary materials.

Building a system is hard work, but since maintaining a system is effective not only when performance is poor but also when it is good, it leads to helping myself overall. Also, by having time through efficiency and taking time to think about systems, it became easier to escape from being constantly chased by tasks, which was another benefit. It's an idea similar to building assets.

I started by adding tasks like organizing bookmarks, shared company folders, and my PC's download folder, as well as compiling document links and response templates, to my weekly To-Do list.

3. Assume 80% understanding, give first!

This is something my supervisor, an executive officer, told me right after I returned to work.
When I was worried about how to communicate with my team members, they taught me, 'You should assume that only about 80% of what you want to convey to the other person is actually getting through.'

And then, they continued, "It makes you feel more at ease if you assume that the evaluation you receive from others is about 80% of what you think it is.".

Not limited to office workers, internal evaluations and evaluations from clients are only solidified by consistently exceeding expectations in your words and actions over a certain period. Furthermore, there is a structure where a time lag is likely to occur before that evaluation is reflected in salary or compensation.

I realized that I had developed a strong desire to avoid doing anything unnecessary or failing, all for the sake of efficiency and taking the shortest path. From that moment on, I became conscious of going above and beyond first.

Of course, there are times when that effort goes unrewarded for a while, but as you continue, you will eventually transcend mere evaluation and become an indispensable presence. Once that happens, whether you continue that approach or decide to leave, you will be able to make proposals in a way that is comfortable for you, which ultimately makes it easier to move forward without worrying.

It goes without saying, but even if the output or deliverables are similar, if you had to choose between someone who makes a sour face every time you ask them for something, and someone who accepts willingly while proactively pointing out concerns and exceeding expectations, it is obvious who you would want to ask.

When you are struggling, please do not forget this.

So, I have introduced three things I realized, learned, and changed about myself during my leave of absence. Of course, as a major premise, immediately after you decide that it is better to take a leave, the first priority is to completely distance yourself from work and straighten out your cognitive distortions and way of thinking.

In particular, the approach in (3) that I introduced also places a physical burden on you, so I think it would be just right to try practicing it gradually while consulting with your own physical condition and situation.

However, when I was on leave or struggling with my career until now, I was always anxious because the amount of change each day was so small that I wondered if I was really changing or growing. At such times, I would be happy if you could remember these two things: that some things only progress little by little in the first place, and that there are times when things only progress little by little.