Because there is a gap with the ideal, we feel despair, anger arises, and we can try again

This time, this is an article sending encouragement to people who are "easily observant" or who tend to feel frustrated wondering why that person is like that. By the way, this applies to me too.
Incidentally, this is also true for me.

In the past, there were times when I was sharp and critical toward my company, thinking, "It should be more like this."
A senior colleague said to me, "Tomoshibi, you really care a lot about this company, don't you?" I was taken aback and replied, "I've just been listing complaints and getting angry the whole time."

According to my senior colleague, he said, "I don't expect anything from the company, so I don't really think anything of it," and I remember being quite struck by that.

Also, at another time, while on leave, I was frustrated with myself for "not being able to do anything or earn money," and I took that frustration out on my children, falling into deep self-loathing.
At that point, the counselor said to me, "Tomoshibi-san, you've become well enough to feel frustrated, haven't you?" Once again, I was taken aback.

"After all, on those 'downer days,' you didn't even have the energy to get angry, did you?" Yes, my three-year diary right after being diagnosed with adjustment disorder was sparse, and it only said, "It was a downer day."

Yes, it takes energy to get angry. When it's pointed out, it's obvious, but certainly, when you are weak to begin with, you can't even do that.

What is needed to feel anger or frustration

I realized that, in the first place, while anger and frustration require energy, before that, you need an "ideal" to begin with.

If your "shoulds" become too strong or you start forcing them on others, it becomes suffocating, but on the other hand, without this ideal image to start with, you wouldn't even think about those things.

Or, the problem of "red in the field" as Mikageishi-san calls it, or "N's demon" as I call it, where I am doing this, but the other person won't do it for me.

*Since I have touched on this many times, I will leave it to just referring to Mikageishi-san's article this time.

I think that in a sense, that also comes from the feeling of, "I think this kind of world is good, and I am acting accordingly. So, you should do the same."

If you change your approach to getting closer to your ideal, things might surely go in a better direction

I have an ideal, but I can't seem to get close to it, so I get frustrated. I have nothing but experiences like that, no, even now it's the same.

However, at the same time, I have learned that there are things that take time and require many steps while borrowing the strength of various people.
In particular, the larger the problem and the more people affected, the stronger that nature becomes.

And another thing I think is important is increasing the resolution.

I think I tended to get frustrated more when my resolution toward a problem was blurry.
A while ago, I even thought quite seriously about a plan to debut in politics, for some reason, to change Japan's education system. However, after actually looking at the transitions in the Course of Study and which organizations are involved in it, I became calm. Even if I could become a city council member, it might not lead to the problems I want to be involved in.

I think this kind of thing happens often not only with tasks and problems, but also in careers, for example.

"I'm interested in sales, but I don't like cold calling."
⇒ Even if you say sales in one word, there are various methods, and it varies depending on the product and the company.

"I want to become a writer and live by writing about what I think."
⇒ Being a writer also has various genres and ways of accepting work, and since it is client work, you need to align with "what is required" at least until you have a certain track record or fans.

Of course, I think it is wonderful to have dreams and ideals, so catching up on the posts of people who are working or active in ways you admire, feeling hopeful by thinking, "Oh, there are jobs like that!", or researching and asking, "Well, what should I do to get involved in that kind of work?"

I believe that through such actions, the path will gradually open up.

Those who can notice are the ones who can make things better.

Finally, I would like to close this note by sharing some words that were said to me, which gave me courage.

"If you improve the things you find 'unpleasant,' the entire organization will surely improve. Of course, there may be times when management or the organization says no, but you have the power to perceive 'discomfort' that people who don't notice would just let slide."

In fact, by gradually changing the way I make proposals and the way I "make requests," both I and the environment around me have gradually changed.

If you have the concern that, "I am confident in my ability to take action, but I don't know what to do", I am available to listen to your story, so please feel free to contact me via "Contact the Creator" at the bottom of the page.