Saturday, July 11, 2026 (Reiwa 8) A Post-Meal Note — Regaining My Time and Organizing My Own Life
Today was a slightly unusual day from the morning.
When I woke up around noon, I had forgotten that I had already eaten breakfast.
I thought,
“I must have slept through breakfast,”
and called the staff member in charge of meals.
Then, while eating lunch, I suddenly realized:
“Oh, I did eat breakfast.”
I called again and told them,
“Actually, I did eat breakfast after all.”
The staff laughed, but at Eden, I feel comfortable sharing even small moments like this.
Today, I was extremely sleepy.
Perhaps because I took pain medication during the night, I still felt a strong drowsiness in the morning.
I tried to stay awake by writing notes and solving questions for the registered sales clerk exam, but the sleepiness would not go away.
Around 4 p.m., I decided,
“I will stop forcing myself to stay awake.”
I set my alarm for 5:10 p.m., just before dinner, and lay down.
I did not intend to sleep, but while listening to a story set in the Edo period, I gradually fell asleep.
The story was about a man who had worked seriously for ten years but suffered because of a spoiled young master.
I do not remember all the details, but it was a comforting story to listen to before falling asleep.
I woke up in time for dinner.
I said to a familiar staff member:
“I came for dinner today, so please remember that. Don’t let me forget like yesterday.”
Everyone laughed.
Today’s dinner was chirashi sushi.
As usual, I asked for a slightly larger portion, but it was not too much, and I finished it easily.
While eating chirashi sushi, I remembered the past.
When my children were still at home, I sometimes bought ready-made chirashi sushi seasoning and made it simply by mixing it with rice.
But after it became just my husband and me, cooking became something painful.
Shopping, managing ingredients, planning menus, cooking, and cleaning up.
It never ended, even though it happened every day.
Many times, I thought,
“I do not want to cook meals just for myself anymore.”
Now, at Eden, meals are prepared when I go to the dining hall.
Because of that, I have time for myself.
Today, I also used the massage chair after dinner.
When I return to my room, I will take a shower and do a small amount of laundry.
I may still study meridian points in Eastern medicine or read The Great Passage by Shion Miura.
But I will not push myself.
If I feel sleepy, I will go to bed early.
For many years, there were things I wanted to do slowly, but I could rarely find the time.
My work was demanding, but it was also meaningful and rewarding.
Now, I am at a stage where I cannot look for work.
Instead, I can learn, read, write, and take better care of my own body.
There is still one task left: organizing my medical documents.
I have visited nine or ten medical facilities, so I have already filed my receipts.
I have also completed the claim for my surgery benefit from Dai-ichi Life.
That alone was a major task.
Now I need to decide how much of the information and documents from each hospital I should keep and how I should organize them.
The things I have placed in the empty room can also be sorted little by little.
Reducing possessions and creating more open space.
That is my current goal for my way of living.
Today, my body still has pain, but my heart feels a little more relaxed.
I want to continue enjoying a life where I have time for myself, little by little.
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