What is the reason men do housework??

What is the purpose of doing housework?

I was given a lot to think about by an article written by Ms. Ariga, a soup writer.

As a housework sharing researcher, I have spent over 12 years talking to various couples about housework. And I think the biggest change in the last 3 to 4 years is precisely that men have started to think about "what is the purpose of doing it."

▶ Looking back on the changes in men's awareness of housework over 12 years

12 years ago, when I started my activities.
It was just around the time the term "Ikumen" (men who actively participate in child-rearing) started to become popular. (It became a buzzword in 2010)

At that time, I felt that everyone had high motivation regarding childcare. But what surprised me was that housework was treated as something completely different.
Childcare is for a limited time, and if you miss this period, you will lose the fun and precious time with your children. There was even a sense of urgency about that.
Holding them, playing various games. Such powerful and creative childcare was considered "dad-like".

On the other hand, they were passive about housework.
Voices like "I'm bad at cooking," "My wife gets angry at me," "I don't have time," and "I don't know what housework is" could be heard from here and there.

Also, the word "help" is a no-go.
Such voices also started to be heard around this time.

What was interesting was that the dads who were told not to use the word "help" lost the verbs for housework.
They couldn't say "I'm doing it." They didn't want to say "I'm not doing it."
I felt that "helping" was indeed the perfect state to describe their situation.

Before COVID, the term "fake Ikumen" also spread.
Moms' frustrations exploded on social media when men only did the surface-level parts of childcare and acted like they were Ikumen. Even now, that trend seems to be common.

And because of COVID, many people's ways of working changed, and how they spent time at home changed.

▶ "Housework to help the wife" is coming to an end

Before COVID, when I asked men, "Why do you do housework?"
The answers were often "To help my wife" or "I want to create some time for my wife who is always busy."

But for (some) men who started spending more time at home and doing housework and childcare equally with their wives, housework was no longer "something to do for the wife."

It is natural that they are doing it to live, but I think they want to re-question "what for?" regarding the endless, repetitive cycle that is "daily life."

Now is an era where we re-question "what for?" even in work.
Instead of the Showa-era values of just doing what you are told, more people think that "what you are doing it for" is what connects to motivation and social values, and leads to good performance and a sense of purpose in life.

That is why I think they are also thinking about "what for?" regarding housework.

Surely, everyone has their own answer to "what is the purpose of doing housework?"
I wrote a little negatively earlier, but "for my wife" is of course fine. It might be "to live comfortably." Or there might be people who say "because it's fun to improve my housework skills."

Everyone probably thinks of their own answer, and I wonder what that answer is.
I am also very interested.

Lastly, just one thing.
I think that when the form of sharing housework within a family changes, it also means that what a "family" is changes.

▶ Families are changing from "bonds to protect the home" to "teams to make dreams come true"

When reading various papers and books related to families,
I realize that until now, the aspect of a family being "bonds to protect the home" was significant.

To protect the home, the husband would go out to work, and the wife would bear children and manage the household.
This style became established, especially in urban areas.

But now,
I wonder how many people get together to "protect the home"?
Isn't it more common for people to get together because "two people who love each other want to be even happier by being together"?

Thinking about it that way,
from now on,"We can fulfill each other's dreams and lives more freely if we get married. That's why we're getting married."I think the number of people who say this will increase.

The era of getting a wife to take care of the house has long since ended.
It is an era where it is considered "of course" to say that if you get married and have housework and childcare unilaterally forced upon you, you won't get married.

If so,
for both men and women, doing housework might be an essential skill for fulfilling each other's dreams.

See you later.

◎ I've started an email newsletter where you can learn about sharing housework and creating a room!

With the concept of "lecture-level information for free," this is an email newsletter where you can learn about sharing housework and creating rooms for that purpose.
You can enjoy promoting housework sharing by receiving monthly supplements and getting advice on housework sharing concerns.

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