How to Gauge “Physical Compatibility” During a Serious Relationship

Hello😊
I am shinako, the lead counselor at MarriageAgency ma cherie ange, an official IBJ member agency.shinako.

How to gauge “physical compatibility” during a serious relationship that you want to cherish

In marriage agency matchmaking, there is a rule that you cannot have a physical relationship before graduating from the agency upon marriage, and there is a rule.
I believe this rule is very important, both because it allows people to meet with peace of mind and because it prevents relationships intended for casual fun.
In fact, agencies operate on the premise that “becoming intimate means you are considered married,” and there are many cases where people proceed to engagement without ever having a physical relationship.

However, on the other hand, in the world of matchmaking, I often hear people say,
“Physical compatibility is really important, isn't it?”
.

I think this is a very natural feeling.
Marriage is not built on conditions and conversation alone.
Because it is a relationship where you live together, touch, and share your lives in close proximity, not only emotional compatibility but also physical compatibility and “a sense of touch” are very important.

So, in agency matchmaking where you cannot have a physical relationship until you graduate, what and how should you look for these things?

“Things to look for before a physical relationship”

Because you cannot progress to a physical relationship while dating in a marriage agency, some people worry,
“Doesn't that mean you won't know until you get married?”

Admittedly, there is some truth to that.

There are indeed things you won't know until you actually live together, and there are aspects of compatibility, including intimacy, that cannot be measured on paper. As an example, there have been cases where couples could hold hands or hug while dating, but after marriage, one partner strongly refused physical contact, leading to divorce.

But I believe that
“you don't get married without knowing anything at all.”
Even if you cannot have a physical relationship itself, you can properly observe
the sensations that come before that during a serious relationship.

In fact, because it is agency matchmaking, rather than rushing into a relationship,
couldn't you say that you can carefully pick up on
small feelings of discomfort, or conversely, small feelings of comfort
?

“Physical compatibility” is not determined only in the bedroom

When people talk about physical compatibility, they tend to think of it in a big sense, but in reality, it often appears in more everyday situations.

For example:
✓ Do you feel relieved when you hold hands?
✓ Do you feel calm when you sit next to each other?
✓ Do you feel happy when your shoulders touch?
✓ Do you feel a sense of security rather than tension when they get close to you?
These things may seem simple, but they are very important.

I believe that physical compatibility is not just about “whether you are okay with being touched,” but “whether you can feel happy with that touch.”

✓ It's not unpleasant
✓ But it's not particularly happy either
✓ There is a vague sense of discomfort

It is very important not to overlook those small feelings.

Sometimes you can see it in a single LINE message

For example, suppose you are in a serious relationship and you receive a LINE message saying,
“I would be so happy if you were next to me when I woke up in the morning.”
How does your heart react at that moment?

“That makes me happy”
“I feel a sense of warmth”
“I can imagine that kind of daily life”
Do you think this?

Or do you think,
“That’s a bit creepy”
“I feel like they’re closing the distance too quickly and it’s overwhelming”
“I don’t want to imagine that scene”
?

I think this is a very important sign.

Of course, it also depends on how it’s said and the timing.
But the emotions that arise within you when you receive those words are quite honest.

Even if your head tells you,
“They meet all the criteria, they’re kind, and they’re perfect as a marriage partner,”
there are times when your heart or body rejects it
when you imagine that level of intimacy.

Conversely, if you can think,
“That’s actually quite nice,”
even while feeling a little shy, that is a very important feeling to have.

The 'skin-to-skin' feeling when holding hands should not be underestimated

Another thing I would like to recommend is
to value the feeling you get when you hold hands.

When you happen to walk side-by-side.
When you hold hands naturally.
At that moment,

Oh, I feel calm
I feel a sense of peace
It feels just right
do you feel this?

Or,
do you feel a sense of discomfort
do you want to let go quickly
do you feel uncomfortable rather than just nervous
?

These feelings may seem simple, but they are very essential.
Because you cannot progress to a physical relationship during matchmaking agency dating,
I want you to carefully observe 'yourself during these small moments of contact'.

Physical compatibility is not something you suddenly understand as zero or 100;
I believe it is something thatbecomes visible little by little through the accumulation of such daily physical affection.

Trying to imagine it now to avoid a 'sudden shock'

What is important in matchmaking agency dating is
not to have a feeling where everything suddenly starts after you leave the agency to get married.

It’s not just about whether or not there is a physical relationship,
but about observing how you feel about the closeness of the time you spend together and how the distance between you shrinks, starting from when you are in a serious relationship.

For example,
✓ Can you imagine them being next to you when you wake up in the morning?
✓ Can you be close to each other naturally at home?
✓ Do you feel a sense of security when you are touched?
✓ Do you feel like you want to touch them too?
✓ Can you imagine sleeping in the same space without feeling aversion?

I highly recommend looking at these things as
your 'imagined degree of physical compatibility'.

It might seem a little strange, but
this kind of imagination is very useful before marriage.

This is because marriage is not just about
“getting together because you like each other,”
but also about
“whether you can live together in close proximity on a daily basis,”
which is very important.

Summary

At marriage agencies,you cannot have a physical relationship until you leave the agency upon marriage.
This rule sometimes leads to anxiety.
But I believe that is precisely why there are things you can see.

Physical compatibility is important.
There is no doubt about that.
However, that compatibility is not necessarily something that can only be understood suddenly after leaving the agency upon marriage.

How do you feel about a single word in a LINE message?
Do you feel happy when you hold hands?
Do you feel warm when you imagine a future with them by your side?
Within those small sensations,

“can I live in close proximity with this person?”there are many hints.

To avoid a sudden realization after leaving the agency upon marriage,
start looking at your
imagined level of physical compatibilitylittle by little from now on.

Isn't that a very realistic and important preparation you can make during marriage agency matchmaking?

Inquiries

In marriage agency matchmaking,
it is very important not only to consider conditions, but also your sense of distance, your feelings about physical touch, and whether the other person is someone you can feel safe getting close to.

You are welcome to consult with us, even just from a 10-minute phone call.
If there is something you are worrying about alone, please feel free to contact us.
I would be happy if we could sort things out together, one by one.

Forinquiriesfrom the ma cherie ange website, click here. Please also feel free to contact us via
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