Do you want to see an English teacher having their dignity destroyed in the UK? ~Photo of the Day~

Photo of the Day

A large hot chocolate from Costa Coffee, which rules the UK ~Served with marshmallows, whipped cream, and all the optional toppings~

This cost 1,200 yen.

No, this isn't how it was supposed to go.
Give me back... my money...

Is this a classic case of early study-abroad frustration?

In the UK, especially around Manchester where I am now, there is a Costa Coffee everywhere you go. And at Christmas, Costa Coffee has lovely posters up.

Yes, the limited-edition Christmas drinks...!
Caramel nut-flavored hot cocoa and lattes topped with red and green sprinkles.
It feels a bit disappointing to go out of my way to visit a chain store abroad, but when it's a seasonal limited edition, that's a different story. I headed to Costa Coffee, feeling excited and thrilled to try one.

The reason for my nervousness was that my British English was completely incomprehensible.
I'm actually good enough at English to make a living as an English teacher, but ever since I arrived in the UK, I haven't been able to have a smooth conversation even once.

And that anxiety proved to be spot on. My order didn't go well.
If there had been a menu, I could have just said 'this one,' but unfortunately there wasn't, and before I knew it, a giant-sized hot chocolate with every option imaginable was finished. The only part that got across was 'hot chocolate.'

This hit me harder than I expected.

Why am I doing something that feels like a classic early study-abroad failure, even though I'm an English teacher...
And the fact that I'm experiencing this kind of frustration feels so typical of the early days of studying abroad, too. I'm an English teacher, for heaven's sake...!

Welcome back, study-abroad complex.

Becoming an English teacher by studying only within Japan was a small point of pride for me.
When students asked, 'Teacher, which country did you live in?' and I replied, 'I've only ever lived in Japan,' I loved seeing hope light up in their eyes.
During the pandemic, when I was despairing that I couldn't go anywhere, it was a comfort to think to my past self, who kept studying English, 'Thanks to your studies, your future self has a professional skill and is traveling the world.'

But maybe it's no good after all.
Maybe English learned only within Japan doesn't cut it.
I feel a sense of helplessness regarding my efforts so far and disappointment in myself, and more than anything, I feel like I'm betraying my students.
Am I teaching English that doesn't work in an English-speaking country?

I don't want to think that I didn't study enough after all that work. I should have done everything I could on my own in Japan. It's too sad for my past self, who was doing her best in a relatively desperate situation, to be told that such studying wasn't enough...
And I also hate the idea of running away by making excuses about not being able to study abroad, saying, 'If only I could have studied abroad in an English-speaking country...' to protect myself.
I thought I could put an end to the study-abroad complex I've been living with for a while on this trip, but here I am again.

How long will I be satisfied with using the fact that I couldn't study abroad as an excuse?
I try thinking, 'Maybe I'll do a master's in an English-speaking country once I earn some money...' but if I just want to learn English, it doesn't seem like there's much need to go for a master's degree.

Bonus: Recent updates on life in the UK

By the way...

I always bring a diary on my travels.
Records of various realizations and states of mind are interesting to look back on. Especially when traveling alone, when something unpleasant happens, writing it down can make me feel better.
Such diaries tend to get longer the more dissatisfaction and hardship there is.
Usually, after a few days in a place, I get used to it and the entries get shorter, but when I went to India, I was writing pages and pages every single day lol

What I mean to say is, the UK is incredibly comfortable.
The fact that I don't feel driven to write means I'm living peacefully with almost no complaints.
Until I tasted bitterness—or rather, hot chocolate—at Costa Coffee, I hadn't written in my diary or on Note for a while.

That being said, I think I'll add a little bit about my recent situation.
Just how comfortable this place is.

First of all, the tap water is drinkable. It's drinkable and it's delicious. It's the best.
And, the supermarkets actually sell what you want. They sell it, and you don't even have to carefully inspect it before buying. You could probably shop blindfolded and be fine. It's the best.
Furthermore, it's clean. The streets, the buildings, everything is well-maintained. It's the best.

Just thinking about it, these are all the wonderful elements that are gathered here.

If I had to name any complaints, it would be that the grass is always soaking wet so you can't sit on it, or that I have to walk for an hour or take a bus that costs 400 yen each way to get to a large supermarket. Also, I failed at ordering at Costa Coffee.

The weather isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought it would be cloudy all the time, but there are occasional glimpses of sunshine. However, the temperature is quite low. The high is around 3-4°C, and it's common for the low to drop below freezing. As someone who prefers cold over heat, this is no problem at all, and I'm just happy that the winter clothes that were just taking up space in my suitcase are finally coming in handy.
Prices aren't cheap, but they aren't as high as I feared either. Considering the quality of the things you can buy, it's reasonable. Isn't it on par with Japan?

So, despite the struggles, I'm having a pretty fun life in the UK. It's a shame that I have to leave as early as next week, and I'd love to come back around summer. If I come in the summer, maybe all that grass will be dry and pleasant...!

Until I leave next week, I want to get my revenge on the lovely British English.
I'm coming back, so just you wait, Costa Coffee...