There is Only Room to Grow (How to Deal with Moments When You Think 'Damn It!!')

I am raising a child with special needs while working a full-time job.

Objectively speaking, it is a hard mode life. But I consider this to be a good kind of struggle.

Both at work and in parenting, there are moments when I think, 'Damn it!!'

An unreasonable boss. A son who won't get dressed. A son who kicks me. A son who reads picture books while naked and soaking wet.

In those moments, there are two ways to look at it.

Do you think, 'Why can't you do it?' or do you think, 'There is only room to grow'?

I also had an unreasonable boss.

'This is how it was when I was your age, so you should do the same.'

At first, I followed along. I honestly acknowledged the good points. But there was something that bothered me deep down.

Now I understand.

That was just forcing bad struggles onto others. They were just pushing their own unresolved struggles onto a junior colleague.

I didn't say it out loud, but honestly, at that time, I was thinking, 'Damn it!!'

But at the same time, I think:

Thanks to that boss, I am who I am today.

A negative example is still a valuable lesson.

Now that I am a manager, the hardest thing is waiting.

I want to do things at my own pace. Since I am the one taking responsibility, I feel the urge to step in.

But if I provide the answers myself, my junior colleagues won't find the work interesting.

In fact, I would just be doing the same thing as that boss.

That is why I share it with those around me, and we all watch over them together.

Come to think of it, my junior colleague might have also thought my instructions were unreasonable, wondering, 'Why do I have to do this?'

We're both in the same boat.

The junior colleague I kept waiting for eventually started creating and sharing materials on their own one day. I first praised them for taking action.

That was enough.

Child-rearing is the same.

Last night, my second son went upstairs naked while still wet and started reading a picture book. When I told him to get changed, he kicked at me.

That's when I thought.

Ah, he really doesn't want to right now.

My son might also think it's unreasonable. Why do I have to change clothes right now, he might be thinking.

I did caution him. But I didn't overdo it. After waiting for a while, I noticed he had changed on his own.

Rather than being scolded for what they can't do, they want to be recognized for trying on their own.

That doesn't change, whether it's a junior colleague or my son.

There is only room to grow.

The moment you think 'This sucks!!' is exactly where the room for growth lies.

There is a book that organizes this perspective as a theory.

'The Theory of Unreasonable Work' by human resources development professional Futa Sakai and Gunpi, also known as Baki-Do.

It is a book I want people who are troubled by unreasonable work, those who have started managing subordinates, and those who are exhausted from special needs parenting to read.

I want you to open it when you think 'This sucks!!'.

'The Theory of Unreasonable Work'

Thank you for reading until the end.

If you thought 'I get it!', it would encourage me if you could press the 'Like' button.

I will continue to write about the reality of special needs parenting next time.

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