#13 Seriously and Straightforwardly

I forget where I read it, but there was a book that saved me from the depths of heartbreak.
If I were reading something back then, it would have been a Flower Comics manga or a novel published by Futabasha.
I can't remember the title. But I was definitely saved by a book back then.

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My "life-is-over level heartbreak" happened at 21.
I've never heard of an 'average age for rock-bottom heartbreak,' but I feel like that's on the later side.

The man I was dating at the time suddenly told me, 'I've found someone else I'm interested in.'
(I thought things like this only happened in manga or dramas.)

Having dedicated my youth to hobbies, club activities, and student council work through elementary, middle, and high school, I had never even had a proper crush on anyone. Therefore, the man I was dating was the first person I had ever been with in my life.

As you might guess, having absolutely no resilience to heartbreak, I cried and wailed alone, thinking, 'The world is ending,' and 'I want to disappear from this world,' just because I got dumped.

Truly, for three days and three nights.
I skipped everything—university and my part-time job, which I had never missed before—and just cried in my bed at my parents' house.

And then, on the fourth day.
I forced open my eyes, which had become like Donkey Kong's from crying too much, and started reading the manga and books in my room.
(It seems I had finally gotten bored of crying.)

In one of those books, something like this was written:

'If you live each day seriously and straightforwardly, God will surely be watching.'
'God will eventually reward you for your seriousness and straightforwardness.'
'That might even mean letting you meet that person you broke up with once again.'

I'm pretty sure that's what it said.
From the day I saw that page, I was finally able to eat the udon my mother made for me.

At the time, I lived by this interpretation:
'Seriously'... Focusing on my university thesis and seminar lectures, and working at my part-time job with the same mindset as a full-time employee.

'Straightforwardly'... Not dating other men one after another.
(I wasn't popular at all, so I didn't even need to be on guard.)

I thought that living with my back straight and with dignity like this was my hope for getting back together with him.

Seeing me participate in seminars with more focus than before, my friends laughed and said, 'I'm glad you didn't die.'
Even though I thought it was impossible, I became able to enjoy drinking while using my heartbreak story as a topic.

And after graduating from university, I landed a job at an apparel company, which had been my dream.
Changing displays, creating traffic flow for shopping, increasing the average spend per customer, and building fans for the store.
Today's sales floor went well, we sold at the highest average customer spend ever today!
Every day was nothing but excitement.
Work is fun. In other words, living is fun.

How to increase sales, how to become an excellent fashion advisor—I repeated the study, practice, and reflection of that every day.
In short, my life was all about work.
By the time I was promoted to store manager in my second year, I was living a 'serious and straightforward life' whether I liked it or not.

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Even though I thought I would never recover, it's amazing how a single book can change a person.

Even now, I occasionally try to remember the title of that book.
But it's a real shame that I can't remember it at all.

I'd love to give that book to my daughters when they have their hearts broken.
Sigh...

Just then, 'Yes, sorry to keep you waiting. Here is the large meat and shrimp tempura udon, and the meat and burdock tempura udon.'

My favorite West udon was brought over, and my sigh blew away somewhere.

Well, whatever, let's eat.

By the way, the man who dropped me into the depths of heartbreak 19 years ago is currently eating udon deliciously right in front of me.

He, who loves large shrimp tempura udon, became my husband 11 years ago.

If you think that's a happy ending, that's not quite right either.
(Until very recently, my husband was unemployed for five years. Haha.)
　
So, whether I have lived seriously and straightforwardly is truly a mystery.

For now, the meat and burdock tempura udon with plenty of green onions was delicious.