Megumi Tiko (38), Toyed with by Elementary Schoolers Again

I wrote an article like this before.

This is a record of my life-or-death battle, where I, who churns out articles that are one step away from being suspicious, was labeled an 'interesting woman' by an elementary schooler noter named Ninjin-kun, and I had to figure out how to reply with comments that would avoid a 'case' being filed against me.
Since then, I haven't been called in by management once, haven't been brought before the Board of Education's disciplinary committee, and have been living peaceful days.
I can say I've escaped the immediate crisis.
Or so I thought.

Until that day—.

During lunch break, I was about to head out to the schoolyard, leading the children from my class.
With this ball clutched in my right arm, I'll take them all down today, every last one of them. With that determination hidden in my heart.
It was right when I had changed into my shoes at the entrance.

'Teacher, are you on the Kinoko side? Or the Takenoko side?'

…What did you just say?

I don't think many people know this, but just last month, I was the woman who ended the long-standing Kinoko-Takenoko War and led it to peace.
However, that was only talked about on Note, and in this world (my school), I haven't shown even a hint of that.
And yet, this upper-grade girl… could she be testing her homeroom teacher?
She might be a rebel who opposes this peace.

'Teacher, I'm on the Takenoko side!'
'Takenoko side? Me too!'
'Ah, I like Takenoko better too.'

The children in my class started confessing one after another that they were on the Takenoko side.
As I thought, shouldn't I judge that the rebel movement is becoming active?
However, the fact that I, an active elementary school teacher, am the very person who led the peace, and above all, that I write and scatter strange documents day and night and release them into the sea of the internet, must never be known.
I have no choice but to somehow get through this situation.

'Both are delicious. I can't choose.'

Ah, I did it again. I gave a safe, uninteresting answer.
I haven't learned anything from the Ninjin-kun incident.
I'm a woman who ends up choosing stability every time, whether I choose stability or fun.
Even though I was called an interesting woman, my true nature is that of a truly boring woman.

I hand the ball, which I had placed on the shoe cupboard to put on my shoes, to a boy who had gone out to the entrance first and was waiting.
As I stepped out of the school building, I noticed that the signs of summer, which had arrived a step ahead, were breathing everywhere.
The children were rushing through the front garden with such momentum that they looked like they were about to start running at any moment.

Yes, yes. Go ahead and play with the ball. And forget about the mushrooms and bamboo shoots.

But only the girl who had interrogated me earlier about whether I was on the Kinoko or Takenoko side was sticking right by my side.

'Teacher, did you know about the Kinoko-Takenoko War?'

I'm being tested. I'm being probed.
How should I answer?
Pretending not to know much would be transparent and, if anything, look fake.
I have to hit the perfect line. An unpleasant tension runs through me.

'I know it. Do you know which side won?'
'I looked it up on my smartphone at home yesterday. Then, some hashtag called 'Kinoko-Takenoko War' came up.'
'…Oh? Why don't you tell me more about that. TikTok? Instagram?'
'When I searched on Google, something called Note? came up and—'
'Hey! Don't climb on the handrail!!'

Crap. I shouldn't listen to any more of this.
My instincts are sounding the alarm with all their might.
Why is she searching on Google instead of Instagram or TikTok?
If she's an elementary schooler in the Reiwa era, I don't want her coming out of visual-based social media.
Luckily, I found a student playing on the handrail of the stairs leading down to the schoolyard and scolded them in a voice 1.5 times louder than usual.
That was the end of that topic, and she joined the circle of dodgeball players.
My determination to take them all down, every last one of them, was in vain, and I was the one being taken down that day.

Later, just as she did, I searched for 'Kinoko-Takenoko War' on Google and found that it leads directly to the Note hashtag search page for the Kinoko-Takenoko War.
My article is definitely there, too. In a very easy-to-find place.
If she accidentally clicks on my creator page….
This is a much bigger problem than the Ninjin-kun incident.
It's not an internet elementary schooler, but a real-life elementary schooler, and one of my own students at that, who is closing in on Megumi Tiko, the me on Note.
If I'm not careful, this could really lead to disciplinary dismissal.
Just thinking back on the titles of the articles I've written,

・My bra smells
・[Reading Note] My husband's penis won't go in
・Beyond the rotten road
・The okama bar I've always admired

and other phrases that are not suitable for a teacher are lined up.
'Otochin' is a book title, so I'd like you to overlook it, but its impact is second to none.
I almost groan for a moment, thinking that a professional's linguistic sense is different, but that's not what's important right now.
What would happen if it were known that the woman who is acting all high and mighty teaching class in front of them every day is the one releasing these phrases every day?
I know there's no benefit to either side.
It's fine if this child learns that adults have one or two hidden faces a little later, and it doesn't have to be me who triggers it.

How can I avoid social death? Unfortunately, I still haven't found an effective way to do so.
The only saving grace is that she is not the type of girl who finds joy in reading long texts.
I think she just opened the search page and left immediately. I'll choose to think that.
I think I'll delete the Kinoko-Takenoko War hashtag from my article for now and see how it goes.
…I mean, why on earth did you find a Note that you can't find unless you search on Google and dive reasonably deep?
Wasn't this supposed to be a sanctuary for adults with a higher age range?

If one day my updates suddenly stop or my account disappears…
Please assume that I have either met a tragic social death or died in the line of duty because I got hit in a bad spot during dodgeball, and I would be happy if you could pray for my soul, even for just 0.2 seconds.