Consulting for Mosquitoes: A First-Timer's Experience

Greetings, Mr. Mosquito.
Thank you very much for choosing our firm for your consulting needs.
My name is Megumi Tico, a consultant at Mushroom Co., Ltd., in the 'What Are You Talking About' department.
I will do my absolute best to develop a strategy that leads to your continued success in the biological world.
Let's work together to overcome these challenging times!

This is my first time consulting, but please do not worry.
I just Googled consulting and consultants a moment ago.
I will cover my lack of experience with knowledge!
I look forward to working with you.

……Ah, don't come any closer. You'll sting me, won't you?
If you sting me, I'll end up in the hospital.
Please don't cross this line. Yes. Just keep flying there. If possible, stay standing. Don't hover.
Tsk, that annoying buzzing sound.

No, it's nothing. Just talking to myself.
Now, without further ado, please take a look at this report, which analyzes your current situation and challenges, Mr. Mosquito.

What did you think?
Since this is a report from our senior consultant, I imagine some parts were a bit hard to hear, but this is how we perceive your current challenges.
Is there any discrepancy or disagreement between your understanding and ours?

Thank you.
Now, let's move on to thinking about improvements and how to implement them.

The first point concerns the itching caused when you draw blood from humans.
I believe your status would improve a bit if this weren't the case, don't you agree?
……Are you saying that if there were no itching component, people would notice you had inserted your needle?
Hmm…… well, let's think of a way to get blood without inserting a needle.
I recommend learning human language and asking, 'I am terribly sorry, but could you spare just a little bit of blood? It is for my children.'
The amount of blood you need is very small.
It is overwhelmingly less than even a blood draw for a health checkup, let alone a blood donation.
And you are doing it for your children, not for selfish reasons, right?
Hardly any human would refuse that.
Listen, you are despised because you try to take it without permission.
If you want it, use the proper approach and say, 'Please.'
Even a preschooler understands that logic.
If you don't understand that, you are just a thief…… no, since it involves bodily harm, you are a robber.
Under Japanese criminal law, robbery is a very serious crime punishable by life imprisonment or death.
First, learn human language and ask, 'Please give me some blood.'

Next, the second point.
The second point concerns the fact that you transmit diseases.
Honestly, there is no defending this.
Do you have any explanation?
……Huh? So what? Are you saying you people poop out of your mouths?
Please stop. Do not compare yourselves to the bacteria in our intestines.
Our intestinal bacteria do not come out of our mouths.
It is not that there are no ways to improve.
I feel the possibility is quite low, but you could live out your natural life and be reborn as a mosquito from a sterile laboratory.
This is the only way.
Because you are born in the wild, you end up carrying the causes of things like Japanese encephalitis or malaria in your body.
Well, to put it simply, I suppose you should just look forward to your next life☆.
……Please don't cry.
It's my first day as a consultant, and I'm the one who feels like crying after being saddled with such a difficult case.

That is all for today.
First, ask for blood in human language.
On top of that, give up on this life and try your best in the next one.
If you work on these two things, results will naturally follow.
I am on your side, Mr. Mosquito. Good luck.

If you have any questions, please contact our firm at the following address or contact our affiliate company.
Recently, I have often been seconded to our affiliate, World Blue Co., Ltd., so there may be times when you cannot reach me at our firm.
I will be at either Mushroom or World Blue, so please feel free to contact me for anything.
Thank you for today.

Mushroom Co., Ltd.

World Blue Co., Ltd.