When the end comes, at that time

Around the same time I recklessly started swimming naked into this vast and deep sea of note, without a life jacket or a raft, I began participating in the 66-Day Writing x Running challenge hosted by Yasushi Ueda, also known as Yasu-san.
Yesterday was the finish line for those who have been participating since the first day.

⬆️ What I wrote at the bottom of this article is already written here. I think I managed a good start dash on this fresh note account.

⬆️ A lovely touch of introducing the Writing-Running members on the final day. It is filled with a warm kindness, like a sunny spot in spring or freshly dried futons.

⬆️ I have been a secret fan. The lighthearted way of speaking is pleasant to read. I realized later that they are from Hokkaido, so I feel a sense of closeness on my own. I understand the local references too well.

There are 11 days left until my finish line.

You know, there are things I want to do when I reach the goal.
It is a bit long, but will you listen to me?

Bucket list

① I want to write a novel

I do not talk about it much, but I come from a creative background.
I had completely drifted away from it after becoming a working adult, but once I started swimming in the sea of note, I wanted to write again.
The relay novel with Miruko-san and Makko-san was also fun because I could do a lot of silly things I would never do in a novel by myself.
I feel like a long-form novel is physically difficult, but I want to release short stories occasionally, so I would be happy if you read them then.
My specialty genre is Japanese-style fantasy literature that is less than horror, but carries a bit of a vague sense of unease and sensuality.
I can only write serious stuff. I have never written comedy or anything like that. I do not write vulgar stories.
⋯⋯For those who thought I was lying, the teacher is not angry, so raise your hand honestly.

② A public love letter to my 'oshi' (favorite)

I believe there are two types of otaku.
Otaku who do not want to be recognized by their favorite, and otaku who want to be recognized by their favorite.
I am the former, and when I was a band fan, I never went to the front row even if I won a single-digit ticket number.
My grandma used to say that when you make eye contact with your favorite, your eyes will be crushed.
But, note has an incredibly close distance to your favorite.
It is an amazing world where favorites flirt in the comment section, or even become friends with you before you know it.
If this were a face-to-face community, my body would explode instead of my eyes being crushed.
I want to pour my heart and soul into talking about my love for my favorite, who always puts up with my mischief.
They say there are nutrients you can only get from an otaku's talk about their favorite.
Please let me provide the highest grade of nutrients.
If you are the favorite who is addressed by name, please accept this as a love letter from me.
I thought about sending it secretly as a private matter between the two of us via 'Inquiries to Creator,' but I can only write up to 500 characters, so I have no choice but to publish it as an article.
I do not accept returns, but if you really feel nauseous or actually vomit, please consult me.

③ Essay on the frustration of fertility treatment

This is it, this.
The reason I started swimming in this sea.
Recently, I have been doing nothing but things like the Kinoko-Takenoko war, Yakisoba Bento, and Omata Garlic, so I completely forgot about it.

I do not know how much demand there is, but since I decided to dance naked, this is something I absolutely cannot avoid.
I even created the tag #AftermathOfFertilityTreatmentFrustration thinking it was like my identity on note, but I have not written the actual process leading up to the frustration at all.

It will probably be incredibly painful, and I think I will want to run away halfway through.
I think there will be times I write while crying.
I think there will be parts where I cannot hide the runaway emotions.
But I believe that if I do not expose even such a pathetic version of myself, I cannot truly become Ame-no-Uzume.

I do not know what kind of reaction I will get from everyone who always reads my work or plays with me when I publish this, but by sublimating it into a single piece of work, I think I can truly say goodbye to my past self and be reborn.

It is not an experience everyone has, and it is not a story everyone needs. It will not be empathized with.
But there are surely people who need it.
At the very least, the me from five years ago needed it.
So, I am thinking of writing it with the intention of delivering it to the me from five years ago.

All three of the above require a certain amount of time.
Talking about my favorite means immersing myself in them, maximizing the love within me, and then, since I cannot hold it all in, sharing the overflowing love with everyone else.
Honestly, I am so desperate to write right now that I do not have time to immerse myself in my favorite.
A half-baked talk about my favorite is just like junk food.
I will be forcibly pouring in the essential nutrients contained in a serious talk about my favorite, so I want you to wait with your mouths open like geese.
I am raising the bar really high, but am I okay?

It is difficult to just shoot and post novels and heavy essays like I do now, right?
My favorite said that letting things sit and revising are essential to improve expression.
I think so too.
Especially if it is something I really want people to read, not doing so would be rude. To the people who read it, and to myself.

So, for now, once the 66 days are over, I think I will stop posting every day.
I think I have been relatively successful with my start dash, so I want to think about how to run the distance from here on out.

Not posting every day does not mean I will not write every day, you know.
I want to make sure I do not get that wrong.

Oh, and I want to try doing audio.
It is just that I want to try it, I have not thought about the content at all.
'Megumi, your voiceis the only thing thatis erotic,' is what a virgin classmate from university gave me.
When I was playing games while talking on discord, or when I was talking about rotten stories with women who sink into the sea of rot, I was told something similar.
So, I want to try saying things like 'You are useless without me,' 'You can just look in the mirror,' 'Get on all fours,' or 'Chasing after a grasshopper's butt.'
Ah, ah.
How about a Stand.fm program name like

Note quotes I want to read out loudor something?
Shall we do it with Makko, Miruko, Tiko, and Mopen?
The only person who can be the moderator is Konishi Kinoko-san.

What are you talking about?

I am participating. Day 55.