My Ronin Days.

My favorite comedy duo, Rarando, released a video on YouTube.
A piece called "Dot."
It really brought back memories of my time as a ronin.
Well, I suppose that's because it's about being a ronin.

I'm particularly fond of Nishida from Rarando, and I often wish I had his literary talent.
This piece was also written by Nishida, who has his own experience as a ronin.

Being a ronin really feels like being a ronin.
You're tossed about by the waves, and your existence is unstable.
There's no guarantee that this year will be the end of your ronin life.
No one can promise you'll get into your first-choice school.
And you don't even know if you'll get into the schools you passed when you were a high school student.

When I was in high school, I went to check the results on the bulletin board in person.
It wasn't that I was confident I had passed.
I thought it was a fifty-fifty chance.
I wanted to celebrate on the spot if I passed, and if I failed, I thought I could use that frustration as fuel to work harder.

On March 10th, I got off at Hongo-sanchome with a pounding heart.
Perhaps because many kids had already checked online, there were a lot of smiling faces.
I walked through the main gate, taking what felt like an eternity.
I searched for my number from the edge of the Science I pass list.
And even after looking from end to end, my number wasn't there.
The feeling of my heart, which had been pounding, suddenly calming down and turning cold is something I still see in my dreams.

When I got home, my father smiled and said, "Hey, ronin!"That kindness hurt all over again.

Even though it was my own decision, being a ronin was tough.
In early spring, my high school classmates were enjoying clubs, part-time jobs, and romance.
All I had was "studying", nothing else.
It was just an extension of high school, and I hadn't even reached the starting line for university.
Even though I was working hard, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was wasting time.

Because I had nothing but "studying," I would be happy or sad over test scores and letter grades.
That was the only source of my self-worth..

In the summer, there is the first Todai mock exam of the year.
As a ronin, you have to get an A grade.
Since high school students improve so much, you get an A in the summer, a B or higher in the autumn, and then hold on for the real thing.
That's the kind of pressure you're under.
When it comes to this, it's one moment of relief, one moment of worry.

There is no such thing as fun.

Is my study method correct?
Will it pay off in March?
Such unanswerable questions spin around in my head.
Even though I can't find the answers to the questions right in front of me that actually have answers.

"Entrance exams aren't everything."
Outsiders always say that.
But they are everything.
I spent a whole year studying just to pass, and having that pay off is everything.
To feel that the year of hard work was worth it, you have to make the cherry blossoms bloom.

I think I was truly lucky.
I worked hard for a year, and it paid off.
I still can't think of it as a fruit of my own effort.
Because there are so many people around me who didn't get that reward.
If it were a simple "time spent at the desk" game, everyone would have won.
Yet, there are people who don't get rewarded.

That's why I want to say to the kids who will be ronin starting this spring:
You just have to work hard.That
it is everything.

Those who suffer around the clock like that and face it without giving up all say, "I'm glad I was a ronin."
Regardless of whether they passed or failed.

In the long run of life, passing or failing is a trivial difference.
Because, as people around you say, entrance exams aren't everything.
But to the ronin who are about to head into battle, I will say it again and again:
Passing is everything., and
I want you to suffer to your heart's content. It will definitely become your strength.