🎸 Middle-aged Guitarist Series ⑰: The 'Someone Else' in My Videos Edition

Why do I look like a 'different person' when I record my practice sessions...?

If there's one thing a guitarist in his 50s does often these days, it's
“recording practice videos.”

We live in a convenient age where you can just set up your smartphone, hit the red record button, and objectively review your own playing.

──However.

That feature can sometimes deal
tremendous damage to a middle-aged guitarist's heart.

Even though I feel like a “cool, rock-and-roll guitarist” while playing, when I actually watch the video back,

the person on screen is practically a stranger.

■① The 'Shoulders Raised 10 Times Higher Than Imagined' Problem

The moment I hit play, this is what I notice.

My shoulders are way too tense and raised.

Even though I think I'm playing in a relaxed state, in the world of the video, my shoulders are already up by my ears.

• My shoulders are at maximum tension for some reason.

• My neck looks short.

• The strap is digging in deep.

• Or rather, just my shoulders look like a Showa-era pro wrestler.

I can't help but say to the screen:

“Is that really what my shoulders look like...?”

It's at a level where I doubt it's even me.

■② My face isn't 'rock,' it's just 'a nice middle-aged guy'

This is seriously grave.

My self-image:
→ A guitarist with shadows in his eyes, feeling cool and even possessing a quiet madness

Reality:
→ Calm.
→ Soft.
→ Somehow gentle.
→ Like a father right after a bath.

Especially the 'mouth area'.

Almost always half-open.

It is by no means a 'rock face'.
In fact, for some reason, I have the face of a session musician playing in the background of a Showa-era music show.

■③ My facial expressions aren't reacting

Even for phrases where I thought, 'I nailed this!',
the me in the video has absolutely no change in expression.

• Not even an eyebrow moves while shredding

• Zero emotion even while bending strings

• My face goes 'blank' at the climax of the solo

• And for some reason, I look a bit sleepy

It's completely Showa-era craftsmanship.

'Hey, you are playing, right? Where did your emotions go?'
I want to interrogate myself.

■④ My movements aren't 'rock', they're 'workplace lunch break rhythm'

I think I'm 'swaying with the groove'.

However, the swaying in the video looks exactly like

・A Showa-era comedian nodding along
・A section manager slightly swaying to the office background music
・A middle-aged man swaying subtly on the train

one of those.

Especially the side-to-side swaying,
it's not 'groove', it's 'daily life rhythm'.

Only the person himself thinks it's rock,
but the body is already soaked in daily routine.

■⑤ Picking position is a mess

When I watch the video,
my picking position is 3cm lower than I imagined.

And my right-hand form is...

• My grip on the pick is way too shallow

• I'm playing with my elbow, not my wrist

• My pinky is sticking out strangely, like a Showa-era madam

• Sometimes my thumb makes mysterious movements

……Who are you?

■⑥ The mental damage the moment you rewatch the video is huge

Middle-aged guys who have the courage to watch their own videos are strong.
But middle-aged guys who know the reality are even stronger.

The moment I hit play, I feel as calm as if someone had splashed water on me.

“Who was that ‘ideal image’ in my head?”
“Should I... start my life over again?”
“The guitar isn't bad... what's bad is my face and shoulders...”

It stabs at my spirit,
but it’s also addictive.

■⑦ But the 'different person phenomenon' is proof of a middle-aged guitarist's growth

Videos are cruel,
but it's precisely because they are cruel that you get stronger.

• You can see all your bad habits

• You can identify wasted movements

• The points where you're using too much force are also clearly visible

• The reality you don't want to see is the best hint for improvement

When I was young, I thought I could get by on momentum.
But it's different now.

You don't get better through momentum, but through accumulation and correction.

Videos are painful.
But they are a blessing.

■⑧ In the end, I end up recording again today

“Today should be better than yesterday.”
“I shouldn't look so Showa-era.”
“I even dropped my shoulders!”

With that expectation, I press the record button.

Result:
Pretty much Showa-era.

But, just a tiny bit better than yesterday.
That progress makes me happy.

A middle-aged guitarist is always growing.

■ Summary

Once you reach your 50s,
both in guitar and in life, “the courage to see yourself objectively” becomes necessary.
Videos are cruel, but that cruelty polishes your sound.

And so, once again today,

“Is that really the face I make when I play...”

muttering this to himself,
the middle-aged guitarist continues to encounter a new version of himself.