To you who have put yourself last and ended up falling apart

"I'm actually at my limit, but I just laugh it off."
"I'd rather do everything myself than rely on someone else."
"Pretending to be okay has become a habit."

I have spent a long time leaving myself behind like that.

By the time I realized it, it was hard even to breathe,
my heart and body were falling apart, and I didn't know where to start fixing things.

People around me saw me as someone who had it all together,
and I was desperate to maintain that image myself.

But I was always swallowing my true feelings.
Even when I wanted to ask for help, I couldn't find my voice.
I was terrified that if I said such things, people would dislike me.

I'm good at acting for the sake of others,
but when it comes to "using time for myself," I feel guilty.

But one day, I suddenly thought this:

"If I keep living like this, who is going to help me?"

Even when I had expectations, nothing happened.
Even when people were kind to me, I couldn't accept it honestly.
I had put myself last for so long,
that I had forgotten how to put myself first.

But I knew I couldn't go on like this.

I was afraid that if I continued this way, even the strength to be kind to the people I love
would disappear from within me.

The very first thing I did
was to ask myself, "Did I spend any time for myself today?"

Without telling anyone, I quietly asked myself.
Five minutes, or even one minute, is fine.
I started by "securing" that time for myself.

For example, drinking coffee slowly before work.
Looking at the sky without checking my phone.
Choosing something for my own sake.

That small accumulation of moments
gradually reached the "self" I had left behind somewhere in my heart.

And there is something I realized.

If you want to cherish others, you must not put yourself last.

This is a story about the "order of kindness."

If you don't have space for yourself, you cannot truly be kind to anyone.
Even if you smile while pushing yourself, it is nothing more than a "mask of a smile,"
and eventually, you will collapse in a place where no one can see.

What I want to convey in this note is,
"You don't have to push yourself to live anymore."

Please, just imagine for a moment.

What if you could put yourself first for just 10 minutes a day?
What if you could let go of the need to "do things right" without being disliked by others?
What if, by fulfilling your own heart, you could naturally be kinder to those around you?

I believe that is a truly healthy
and harmless "cycle of kindness."

And this is not about willpower or mental toughness.
In fact, it is something you can do using a "method that even lazy people can keep up."

In fact, I have received messages like these.

If you are currently thinking,
"I have no value unless I am useful to someone,"
"Why am I the only one working so hard when I'm already tired?"
then...

It might be time to go and reclaim yourself.

What I have prepared is a small tool to help you regain the "habit of prioritizing yourself."

There is nothing flashy written here.
But I have designed it as a "system you can actually keep up with every day."

I designed it to gently support you even on days when you cannot give your best.
I made it so that even if you are lazy or give up halfway, you can always come back to it.

Therefore, this is not for "people who can work hard,"
but for "people who can no longer work hard."

I have a request for you, now that you have read this note.

Just for today, even if it is only by a millimeter, please try to prioritize yourself.
Listen to the voice of your heart before you reply to someone's text message.

With just that, the world will become quietly kinder.

It is enough to just reclaim a little bit of yourself.

Instead of thinking "I have to do everything,"
if you can think "maybe I'll try a little bit," that is enough.

When you become able to treat yourself properly,
the world will begin to change for the better, little by little.

3 concrete ways to "stop putting yourself last"

From this point on, this is a story about "how to get yourself back."

Even when told to "take care of yourself," it's too abstract and you don't know what to do. Moreover, for those who have lived putting themselves last, I think the very feeling of "prioritizing" doesn't quite click.

That is precisely why there are only three things to do. Just by being conscious of these three things, a "habit of not putting yourself last" will quietly begin.

1. The habit of reversing your "priority of choice"

When you are in the habit of acting for others, you unconsciously put your own desires last.

But what you do here is simple.

Try checking "what do I want to do first?" just once.

As soon as you wake up in the morning, instead of asking "what do I have to do today?", please ask yourself "what do I want to do today?"

You don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to say it out loud. But please don't skip this question every single morning.

The feeling of prioritizing yourself will gradually return.

2. Have a place where only your own voice reaches

You are surely a kind person who is far too sensitive to the voices around you. That is exactly why you need time to consciously "block out the noise."

For example: - Closing your eyes for 5 minutes in silence with earphones on - Looking at the sky on a park bench without talking to anyone - Not taking your smartphone into the bath

Any form is fine. Please give yourself "time when no one else's voice reaches you."

Information, other people's evaluations, and the noise of social media—you can mute all of that just for that time.

In that space, your true feelings will gently emerge.

3. "Say a little 'thank you' to yourself"

This is the most effective one.

Before going to sleep at night, look back on the day and whisper in your heart, "I did well today." It's okay if you didn't finish your to-do list. In fact, just surviving the day is already a perfect score.

Even if you thank others, I think there are rarely opportunities to thank yourself.

However, praising yourself is the first step toward cherishing yourself.

It might feel embarrassing at first when you're not used to it.
But if you keep it up for three days, your heart will feel just a little bit lighter.

What I wanted to convey

What I've shared in this note isn't about complicated topics like "self-affirmation" or "mindset."

It's something more grounded: "a design for being lazy, but not breaking down."

There's no need to get fired up, and you don't even have to make it a habit.
But I want you to hold onto the sense of security that "there is a place you can return to."

I, too, kept myself going for a long time by meeting the expectations of others.
But I couldn't do it anymore.

I truly regretted it, thinking, "Why didn't I treat myself better back then?"

That is exactly why I wrote this article,
hoping it would reach "someone like I was back then."

Treating yourself properly is,
in fact, a very delicate, kind, and loving act.

The kindness you've shown to others,
please try directing just a little bit of it toward yourself starting today.

With just that one step,
a future completely different from what you've known is waiting for you.

For those who want to grow

I've started a membership!

What kind of membership is it?

What we do in this membership is,
practice treating your "unable-to-act self"
properly as "material."

I used to believe that
a day I couldn't work hard = a bad day,
a self that couldn't keep things up = having a weak will.

But now, I think of it this way.

Even on days when you couldn't do anything,
even on days when you were just faking it,
the impatience and discomfort you felt at those times
actually contain 'hints for design flaws'.

In this membership,
we pick up those hints again,
and share a relaxed, deep, and reliable perspective
that allows you to live your life even while being 'not quite put together'.

As a result, we cover themes like these.

• Ways of working without rushing (or rather, how to deal with your impatient self)

• Emotional design to avoid being swayed by money

• Structures for fatigue-free relationships

• How to develop essential thinking and perspectives

• Notes and trial-and-error for verbalizing thoughts and emotions

By reading,
your impatience will decrease.
You will be able to notice your own misalignment.
Emotions that are hard to put into words will gain a bit of definition.
Such changes will happen slowly.

#Membership #noteMembership #note #DailyNote #noteUpdate #Lazy #Mental #Mind #Thinking #Mind #Mindset #Mindfulness
#Emotions #OrganizingThoughts #Learning #AdultLearning