Tears of a drop, drops of hope

I was looking back at old photo data.

Photos from before we moved to our current house. In the pictures, my second daughter, then a first-year high school student, is showing a brilliant smile. Seeing that, my heart felt like it was being squeezed.

If only there hadn't been a job transfer.
If only my husband had taken the job alone.

Even though 'what ifs' are meaningless, I can't help but think about them. If we hadn't moved, wouldn't my second daughter be happily going to school right now? (My second daughter started taking occasional breaks after the second semester began. She hasn't gone at all for the past three weeks.)

Because my second daughter is my biggest concern right now, I couldn't help but think that way.

No, no, wait a minute.
Another part of me inside realized.

Everyone other than my second daughter is actually doing quite well.

My eldest daughter, a third-year high school student, and my eldest son, a first-year junior high student, have made more friends since we moved. My second son, a fourth-year elementary student, has become more enthusiastic about his extracurricular activities (karate) than before. My husband has been promoted at work. I am also enjoying working at my new workplace.

When I think about it carefully, the only one currently caught in a big whirlpool of trouble is my second daughter.

I see. I thought, 'If we hadn't moved...', but that probably has nothing to do with it. It just so happens that my second daughter is facing a trial right now.

Looking back, my eldest daughter also couldn't go to school right after entering high school and transferred to a correspondence high school. She made many friends there and is now enjoying her youth to the fullest.

I was about to cry while looking at the old photos, but I was able to calm down a little. It was the moment when the drops of tears turned into drops of hope within me.

#noteDeNoelLetter



▼ I am participating in Rin Kiki's note de Noël.
Day 19 Theme: Drop