10 Years of Chasing 'I Know, But I Can't': Why I Left Being a Registered Dietitian to Pursue NLP Psychology

'I know I should, but I just can't stop...'

When I was working as a registered dietitian, I don't know how many hundreds of times I heard those words. At the time, I never imagined that this single phrase would end up changing my life so significantly.

I worked in a role called 'Specific Health Guidance.' This is a job where you work with people who have been identified as having metabolic syndrome or being at risk for it during their health checkups, helping them review their lifestyle habits, such as diet and exercise.

Overeating, drinking too much, lack of exercise, late-night snacks, and grazing. Most people know what they need to improve to be healthy. Even so, many people would tell me, 'I know, but I can't do it.'

The sense of unease that came from studying NLP

Back then, I couldn't just dismiss those words as being due to a 'lack of willpower.' This was because I had already studied NLP psychology and knew that when people say, 'I know, but I can't,' there is always a background or reason unique to that person.

On the other hand, I couldn't fully apply that way of thinking in the field of Specific Health Guidance. Because Specific Health Guidance is carried out according to Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare programs, there are rules on how to proceed with support. Also, I felt it was inappropriate to actually use the kinds of exercises used in NLP psychology, as I believed they should only be conducted with mutual consent after obtaining permission. I felt this was a line I had to respect as a registered dietitian providing Specific Health Guidance.

That is why, while providing support within the prescribed program, I felt the frustration of thinking, 'If I could guide them freely, I could use that exercise.'

The results of two people changed my life

Around that time, an incident occurred during a group guidance session at a certain workplace that still leaves a strong impression on me today.

There were two people of similar age, with similar job duties, and whose living environments were not significantly different. One person used this opportunity to make major changes to their lifestyle habits. The other person showed almost no change.

Of course, everyone has different circumstances and backgrounds. A supporter can only see a small fraction of that. Even so, I was curious, 'What was the difference between these two?'

Why did they get different results despite receiving the same information and being in similar environments? I wanted to know the answer. This question ended up determining the direction of my life.

Looking overseas in search of answers

Initially, having studied NLP coaching, I thought I should just deepen my knowledge of health coaching. However, as I researched, I discovered a field called health psychology that specializes in studying 'human behavior change,' and I thought, 'This is it!'

However, at that time in Japan, there was almost no environment where one could study this field professionally. During my university days, my mother had told me, 'If you want to go, you can go to graduate school,' but I chose to start working instead. At the time, I didn't have a research theme I wanted to use this knowledge for, and I thought it would be a waste.

Having decided, 'If I ever find something I truly want to study, I will go to graduate school then,' I continued to study English for about three years while working.

I was confident in my speaking and listening skills in English, but I was terrible at reading and writing. I even cried in front of my English instructor, saying, 'I really can't do this.' Even so, I kept studying and finally reached the point where I could move on to the preparatory course for graduate school.

Although the study abroad I had envisioned did not come to pass

However, in February of the year I was scheduled to enroll, the novel coronavirus began to spread around the world. This happened just as I had made arrangements to resign from my company and had completed preparations for studying abroad, including applying to move out of my apartment. In the end, the preparatory course was not held that year, and my study abroad was postponed.

In a situation where the future was uncertain, and driven by the thought that I 'didn't want to let everything I had worked so hard for go to waste,' I chose to postpone my enrollment for one year and continue my studies online.

The University of Aberdeen, where I had originally planned to go, did not have an online program. Since it was a university I had visited twice and decided, 'I want to study here,' I remember feeling truly devastated when I had to give up that path.

In the end, the graduate program at the University of Glasgow, where I enrolled, had a more comprehensive health psychology curriculum than I had hoped for, and there were even Japanese seniors there. Looking back, I was blessed with good connections. I feel that even when life doesn't go as planned, if you keep moving forward without giving up, you may find that, as the saying goes, 'a blessing in disguise' can open up new paths.

What I realized because I learned it

The course I took was called a conversion course, designed for those who had never studied psychology to learn the basics. Most of the students were working professionals, and many were people looking to apply it to their current jobs or, like me, planning a career change.

And, in the end, just because I learned these things, it didn't mean I found a magical support method that would make people change if they just learned it.

I realized once again that people changing is not that simple, and it is different for everyone. But that was not a disappointment for me. Rather, it led to the conviction that 'that is precisely why it is important to understand each person carefully.'

There was support that could not be realized in the field

And I started to think about one more thing.

Even if I returned to the field of specific health guidance, it would be difficult to apply what I have learned directly to support. There are institutional constraints, and there is a limit to the time I can spend carefully facing each individual.

If so, I would create that place myself. That was one of the reasons I decided to become independent.

The questions from back then are connected to my current work

The theme I am dealing with now is 'I know, but I can't.'

'I know what I should do.' 'This is what I really want to do.' 'I kind of know what I should do.'

And yet, for some reason, I can't move forward.

I don't think that state is 'weak willpower.' There is always a background or reason unique to that person. My job now is to help them put that into words without blaming them, solve it using NLP psychology workshops, and steadily move toward the future they want to achieve.

The words 'I know, but...' that I heard from hundreds of people back then are still the starting point of my work, and they are a theme I want to continue to face in the future.

If you are currently...

'This is what I really want to do.'
'I know what I should do.'
'And yet, for some reason, I can't move.'

If such a state continues, it may not be a lack of willpower.

At the Teri Juku that I preside over, we help people verbalize 'I know, but I can't' from the perspective of NLP psychology and find a step that suits them.

For more details, please see here.

▶ Teri Juku | Solving 'I know what to do, but I can't do it' with NLP psychology