What Matters More Than a Camper Van
—He who dreams of "freedom," and I who see the "essence"—
My partner currently has a dream: he wants a camper van.
He talked about saving up money, getting one—even if it's used—and driving it to the sea.
When he talked about that dream, he looked somewhat happy.
I could feel his excitement, his bright, boyish expression.
We even went to look at camper vans in person.
We don't exactly have money to spare, but he kept saying, "I want to get one someday."
However, even when I heard him talk about it, for some reason, I couldn't honestly say, "That sounds great."
There was something nagging at my heart, and I found myself feeling somewhat cold toward the idea.
In fact, I even felt like, "Don't we not need a camper van at all?"
It's not that I want to deny his dream or hold him back.
But somehow—I just couldn't feel the "essence" in it.
For example, if he had said,
"It's a wish I've held in my heart for a long time, and I've finally come this far,"
then I think I would have been able to support him.
But the camper van he spoke of had a scent of escapism about it.
Past pain, unrewarded feelings, and the obligations and lack of freedom that continue even now.
He wants to escape from those things, even if only for a little while—
It looked like a 'refuge in the name of freedom' to me.
I think to myself.
“Rather than going to the beach in a camper van, it is more important to put your inner self in order first.”
True freedom does not come from going somewhere far away,
but only from facing 'the self that is here right now'.
Perhaps the sight of him running toward his 'next dream' without seeing that
seemed a little painful to me.
That is why I cannot honestly say
“That’s great” to his dream.
It is not out of coldness,
but a quiet wish
that he would look at what is truly important.
If, someday, he comes to find value in
“being free in heart without possessing anything”
rather than “obtaining something”—
I believe that is when he will truly be free.
#CamperVanDream
#WhatIsTrueFreedom
#LivingWithoutEscapingReality
#PuttingYourInnerSelfInOrder
#PerspectiveOfTheSoul
#TheDiscomfortIFelt
#GentleRejection
#RealityCollapseSeries
#LettingGoRatherThanObtaining